for several months we have been corresponding via email, and we have met once (no sex). He has been strong in his commitment to his wife, however, as the months go by, he is slowly giving in to me. Am I a sinner? If he were not interested from the beginning, why did he keep up the emailing and agree to meet with me??
2007-09-25 16:27:55 · 34 answers · asked by AskMe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this has nothing to do with being a sinner.... it has to do with your self respect. You should not feel attracted to a man who has a commitment and responsability to another woman. But something makes you want him. You should think why?? and why does he engage in this secret relationships? yes I said it on purpose because via e-mail, he might have the same kind of flirting with other women; you have no way of knowing or controlling it.
so my advice to you.
step back and observe your overall situation. be objective and search ways to meet a guy who is in your circumstances: single and without attachments to other women.
good luck and value yourself, don't get into trouble for nothing
2007-09-25 16:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad situation for you. I can understand you like the man, that he seems interesting and the whole relationship is tempting, but I don't think this is good for you as a person.
First of all, you should be with a single man, someone who has no attachments, no second thoughts when it comes to being with you.
I think this man, as many more, is not telling you the truth and playing with your feelings. Why is he looking for another relationship in the first place? If he has problems with his wife, he should work on it and not flirt online.
Maybe he does not have a wife and this is only a card he uses so he can be with you part time only.
Maybe he has some more online sweethearts and tells them all the same story.
Whatever the truth is, the important thing is you value and respect yourself and look for a relationship with a man who has no secret life. This one you should let go, he will only bring you pain and deception.
good luck and remember that you are worth having the best, not settling for second hand.
2007-09-26 05:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by Marina Marina Marina 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Here's something you might want to think about: He could be lying about being married, too. Reconciling with a non existant wife could be a good way to dump you. Then there's the question of how many women he's stringing along like this. You may not be the only one. You'd really have no right to complain either, since you think you're stealing another woman's husband. And it's unusual, but some women find a man more attractive if he's married. He could be taking advantage of that. In addition to you.
2007-09-25 17:11:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People cheat. People get divorced. Some men are dogs who cheat constantly. Some good men end up getting divorces and marrying their mistresses. It's not all black and white.
I assume that you actually care about him, and wouldn't want him to turn his life upside down if you weren't interested in a serious commitment with him.
In which case, my advice is: stop it. Not because it's morally wrong (which it is, and it's not fun to be "that woman") but because it'll SUCK THE LIFE out of you. You would get half a life or less out of an affair with him, and it just sucks to live that way. It's not fun to be somebody's dirty secret, especially when you love that person.
If you're really interested in him, tell him you can't continue this until he sees a lawyer and moves out of the house. Then don't respond to the emails, don't talk on the phone, and don't see him. If he *ever* intends to leave her, he'll do it at that point, because you'll be giving him no other choice. If he doesn't leave her, or asks for more time, or attempts to drag this out longer...then you need to stop it. Again, not because it's wrong, but because it's bad and painful and unhealthy for you. If you have an affair with him, he's getting the best of both worlds, and you're barely fitting into this tiny spot in his life. There's nothing fun or loving or good about that.
2007-09-25 17:59:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You really like this guy? Or do you like that this man likes you?? Why do you think he wants to leave his wife?...For you?....wow you must really do a better job...but what happens when YOU don't do such a good job at being his lady?.....isn't this what the majority are saying here?.....but I can feel what your saying....
You feel bad because of what other people are saying. If you want this relationship to work, you'll have to remember that you must start memories...not just e-mails and chats. It could be he wants to just have fling but he's in deeper than he should....
Giving in to you?...your luring him away from his wife?...yeah, shame on you if you are but too late...he makes your soul soar....so you'll continue to see him no matter what...it'll only last about two years sweetie and he's out the door too....
2007-09-25 18:15:13 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Volatile situation! Any man who is willing to jeopardize his marriage to entertain a fantasy is not worth the time. I would back away. No...I would RUN away. Don't ever be so naive to assume he might leave her for you. He will not. And if he does, he will just end up leaving you for somebody else in time.
Sinner? No. This situation hasn't become physical yet but I guarantee that (if you are a decent person) once it does, you will have great difficulty looking at your reflection in the mirror every morning. It's much better looking back at a reflection which possesses dignity.
2007-09-25 17:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lost In Vast 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Leave him alone. He isn't giving into you at all. He is going to stay married and has no intention of leaving his wife for you. He plays around like this all the time, I bet. Stop what you are doing. It's not good for you. He only wants sex and then he will be onto his next internet romance.
2007-09-25 16:32:26 · answer #7 · answered by Julie H 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Why on earth are you interested in a married man? He made a committment to his wife and perhaps they even have children, do you have ANY RESPECT for yourself or for marriage or for his vows? If you WIN him over and have sex and he ends up leaving her for you, what makes you think you'll be any different? What makes you think he will view his committment to you as any Better or Loftier or More somehow?
2007-09-25 16:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
ok..so he falls with you...and I ask you...if you get involved with him and create havoc in his marriage..do YOU really love him? Do you really respect him?
yes he has marriage issues...but..isn't this little relationship of yours....part of that?
whatever the catalyst is...you need to kill it off..because..no good can come from this..
if he married you,...what would keep him from finding ANOTHER woman online? if he did it once...can you see this as a "wash rinse repeat "cycle?
are you THAT good..that he wouldn't stray..since he strayed and broke off his commitment with his current wife?
be the bigger person and let the guy go...if ANYTHING show that you love him and let him be happy with his wife. In fact demand it of him...tell him that he needs to love her the same way he did when she turned him on prior to getting married.
If the marriage falls apart naturally...he may call you ..but..don't wait for it...just let things happen naturally..they'll happen if it was meant to be..
otherwise it could be a non stop drama from inception to divorce AGAIN for him and worse for you...because not only are you divorced..but you caused his first divorce and it added to nothing...
2007-09-25 17:15:04 · answer #9 · answered by juanes addicion 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe in "sin" but I do believe in a person knowing wrong and right actions based on societal norms.
It is not normal to date or want to have a relationship with a married person.
He would do the same with you, IF he EVER left his spouse and then married you and then find someone else behind your back.
Find someone single.
:)
2007-09-25 16:55:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋