If you have intercourse with someone you didn't know was married, would you consider that adultery?

Question

I recently met someone in Vegas at the tables and coincidentally ran into the same woman later that evening. One thing led to another and we ended up getting a room and "had some fun." She was not wearing a wedding ring and was under 30, so I assumed she was probably single. I never bothered to ask if she had a boyfriend because frankly I didn't care. I found out tonight that she's married, which is worse. I am not someone who goes to church frequently, but do try to follow God's Commandment of "Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife."

I know how I feel about the situation and plan on going to Church to ask for forgiveness, but regardless did not know this woman was married before things went down.

What do you think?

Thanks to those that have answered. I'm taking all opinions to heart, but if I were to answer my own question I would side with the ones that understand it was a mistake on my part and didn't realize she was married. Once I actually go to Church I think I'll feel better. As for those of you saying I've committed adultery, I'd be interested in knowing if you think God's closed his gates to me. I'm sure most of you will brutally say "yes." Well, you are the people God doesn't understand in my opinion. Get a life.

Also, to those that misread -- I said I didn't really care only if she had a boyfriend... I would have cared if she had a husband. Big difference. I will ask next time for the rest of you who suggested that. Thanks.

Red"DEVIL" i see why you chose that name. Don't know what side you're on, but sounds like you've made a lot more mistakes in the past than me. You've never had casual sex? God doesn't have a commandment against that sister. When alcohol is involved and I would have NEVER guessed this woman was married at 27, no ring, no indication at all, I think it was an honest mistake. You are absolutely nuts and I feel bad for whoever had to spend the rest of their life with someone so unreasonable and opinionated as you are. You're crazy devil woman.

Answer 1

I think that if she didn't give any indication that she's married, i.e. taking off her wedding ring, then it doesn't make you an adulterer. You should be more careful about having casual sex though, you never know.

Answer 2

You didn't commit adultery. She did, that is of course, if you are not married. You committed fornication, which is sex outside of marriage. Will God strike you dead? I don't think so. Will He forgive you, only if you regret it and try not to do it again. Otherwise, ask Him to help you. Go to church and ask for forgiveness? What a joke! What is in the church? People, only people, that's all. You think God "lives" there? Pretty small God, don't you think? I don't know where God lives, but I bet it has got to be in some place that is living, not in a building. I'm only guessing, of course, I haven't seen Him lately. Anyway, that's what I think. Good luck

Answer 3

Anyone that has sex outside of marriage is a sin and is in the Bible very clearly. Fortification/ Adultery in 10 commandments.
You can pray anywhere and ask forgiveness, church would be the best place and go regularly.
It does take 2 to have sex like that, she didn't do it all by herself.

Answer 4

YEs it is still adultry , as all sex outside of the bounds of marriage is adultry. Adultry is not even just sexual sin. ITs when you are not faithful to God. ONe can be committing adultry by beating their wife, its still not what God wants. And we are to be celibate before marriage. So by sleeping with sooene you arent married to, whether she is married or not is still sin and yes it is adultry. Much has been done to study the old words used and those old greek and hebrew words take on so much deeper meaning. Adultry is seperating from God. Cheating... not just sexually. YOu said you didnt even care if she had a boyfriend. My question to you is this? IF you dont care, and you are having sex outside of marriage, why do you care if its adultery. Because if you are willing to disobey God on one thing, you will another. We are either fully GOds or we arent His at all.
God can forgive you, but you have to ask and mean it and say YEs to Jesus and NO to sin. ITs all choice.

Answer 5

I feel for you and understand your position but that is just another reason to be more careful and know a person before you have random sex.

What if she was 15 and just looked older? What if she had some STD?
What if her husband shot you?

These are scary times and you have to be careful. Yes, I do consider it adultery. Next time take the time to know the person better and ask some questions. (I am not trying to be hard on you, I have made mistakes in my past also. I am just trying to be honest here.)
I am sure you learned a valuable lesson from this. Ask forgiveness, grow in your awareness and move on.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

I think that this is the risk you take when you view sex so lightly that you'll F**K someone you've only known for a few hours....

EDIT: I'm not basing my opinion on religion or what God might say, I'm just using basic common sense, but I find it awfully funny that a trip to Church will wipe out all your poor decision making, usually people who care what God thinks and take the time to go to Church would also be just a tad more worried about having casual sex and it's consequences.

Answer 7

Yes it is adultery! I guess this taught you a lesson to never sleep with a hot chick until you have gotten to know her better. What a slut for not telling you and making you feel terrible. Man do I feel for her husband, he'll probably be gone within the next 3 years.

Answer 8

I think that she should of told you that she was married. But, obviously she doesn't feel about commandments the way you do. Because she wouldn't have taken it as far as she did. So if i was you i wouldn't feel bad because you didn't know. But, if your heart needs resolutions then its good your going to church and ask for forgiveness. Honestly she should be doing all of that. Good Luck :)

Answer 9

First..I want to say you have my respect in the sense you would have turned away if you had known she was married. At least you're man enough to say, "I'm not going to be part of wrecking another family".

As for adultry...yes...even though it was unknowing? yes...which is why God wants us to wait until we are joined in marriage. (One of many reasons).

Now..even for sake of argument, lets say my definition of adultry is too narrow...what happened still would not be outside the admonition of fornicating outside of marriage.

Point I'm trying to make... is your sin is no different than mine. I'm married, but if I even look at the women at the mall, and lust enters my heart, then I'm just as guilty of a sexual sin.

that we experienced sexual sin in two different manners does not make mine any less wrong before a Holy and Pure God. What it does do, is make me need my Saviour that much more.

And this is where I'm wanting to go...to help you understand, it really doesn't matter what our sin is...we ALL have a sinful nature. What matters is this: What do we choose to do about it? Fight it on our own, even though our own works won't gain heaven, or bring it to the cross and confess our deeds to Christ, and then accept not only His forgiveness, but His promise to redeem us, and help us stay from that which caused us to stumble.

† Traveling Prayer Warrior †

Answer 10

The person who is married commits the adultery, not you. You didn't know so don't beat yourself up over it. I really hope that you wore some type of protection because AIDS/HIV and other std's are still out there and some of them can ruin your life, or even kill you. Please be more careful with whom you casually sleep with next time.