We have been dating for two years now...I have met the other younger children briefly...and their mom is the wicked witch of the east...she is daddy's little girl and therefore very spoiled.
2007-09-25 15:39:58 · 17 answers · asked by Lelee 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Her mother and I have had a conflict of interest very recently...in very little detail she doesn't want him, but she does because she knows I'm in the picture...she doesn't want him to be happy. I have met her (the mother) in person, I am not accusing her of being the wicked witch because of hearsay it is purely experience. He tells me all about how all of his children are spoiled. I would never show or tell them anything I know about them being spoiled nor would I ever talk negatively about their mother towards them or in front of them.
2007-09-26 11:22:52 · update #1
You've been seeing him 2 years, are engaged, and haven't met her yet???
Boy, are you in trouble...
peace
.
2007-09-25 15:43:59 · answer #1 · answered by OhYeah?! 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You better think twice about this engagement .. #1 he will never turn away or ignore his daughter and #2 she will always be in the picture and controlled by Mommy Dearest . Sounds like the ex is going to play dirty with all barrels full . If you are determined to marry this man with all this baggage then be prepared . First make ground rules . What goes on in YOUR home is your business not his daughters and her Mothers . next Her mother and he daughter must respect you as a new member of the family . If not , tell your fiance to see his daughter else where , especially if she disrespects you , I went through this with my husband and his 3 kids , the ex tried to make it difficult until I put my foot down ... It's all good now . After 14 years of marriage ...
2007-10-03 02:47:16 · answer #2 · answered by vpsinbad50 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mom who is divorced, I have to disagree with many of the posters that said you should have met her by now & had more than "brief" time with the other kids.
My ex & I agreed that we would NOT introduce our child to ANYONE we were dating until we have made a commitment to them. You say he is your "soon-to-be" fiancee, not yet your fiancee, so...the commitment isn't there yet. Once you have made that commitment to each other, then you will meet and spend time with the kids. You will be a couple and you and your fiancee will be a unit, and support each other in front of the children.
Granted, they are "his" children, but as others have said, they are innocent and need love, understanding and patience. You are the adult and need to model good behavior at all times.
As far as mom being "wicked witch of the east", my ex has portrayed me that way to his girlfriends so he wouldn't have to deal with telling them that HE didn't want them to meet his child!! Besides, it doesn't really matter what she is like, what matters is your relationship with your "soon-to-be" fiancee and the relationship you create with his children.
Good luck!!
2007-09-25 16:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by seaelen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to meet the kids now. You might not know what you're getting yourself into. She/they could be total brats and don't think he'll choose you over them, lol. It might not be something you want to deal with. As a step-daughter, trust me about this. Things are all sweet in the beginning and then someone turns. You need a lot of time getting to know them before you marry. It's not only your relationship with your fiance that matters.
You already know she is spoiled, so think of what that means for YOU. And this is certainly not easy on them either. You also have to deal with the bio mom and be polite with her. coming in and being another person to add drama isn't good for the kids.
2007-09-25 17:17:06 · answer #4 · answered by paperpenandtea 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Probably soon, but please first...the woman who you call the "wicked witch of the east" is their mother. It hurts kids when either parent or partner is ill towards the other. If you care about your man and his kids..well adjust your attitude. She is a kid..she is innocent. I think my ex is a plague on women..but I never show that in front of my child. She should have the right to work out on her own what she feels. Try to see yourself in that child's situation...really...the mother may be evil..but the child will only ever have one mother...dont' take that away from her.
2007-09-25 15:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by CherryCheri 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi Hon..
Being you are engaged, by right you should have met her by now..Apparently your fiance is afraid for her to meet you, and the other way around. BUT..he has to introduce you to his daughter..
And whatever you do..do not refer to your fiance or your future step daughter, that his wife, or her mother, no matter what he has told you, as being the wicket witch of the west..Remember..this was his wife, and his daughter's mom!
Be on your best behavior no matter what...Even if it kills you!
Perhaps the three of you, can go out to dinner together.
But you two must meet.
Good Luck and Best wishes Hon!
2007-09-25 16:02:40 · answer #6 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should have been introduced before you became the fiance...and who are you getting your info from about the wicked witch...him? ...most little girls are spoiled by daddy...are you jealous?...you shouldn't even want to compete with his daughter...maybe you're the wicked witch
How have you dated someone for two years , became their fiance, and only met some of their children briefly??? Something is not right here!
2007-09-25 15:47:09 · answer #7 · answered by onceisenoughilearnedmylesson 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I really don't think he can be planning to marry you if in two years of dating you have met only some of his children 'briefly'.
I presume their mother must have sole custody, but what do you do for the 1-2 weekends a month that they are with their dad? Make yourself scarce? That just isn't normal.
Are you going to be their step-mom or not? Because that's actually a major commitment with kids of that age. It sounds like you guys are nowhere near ready for that, or even getting ready for that.
2007-09-25 16:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he's serious about you, you need to meet her. And DON'T call her mother the wicked witch of the east. You aren't in a competiton, so act like the adult you are. If she's daddy's little girl, then leave it alone. She deserves to be. Tread lightly on this one. If he has to choose, you will, or should, lose.
2007-09-25 15:44:05 · answer #9 · answered by Cathrine K 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I think if you are about to be married then you should already know that little girl. I am telling you regardless its going to be hard. My cousin had issues with her husbands 12 year old daughter she was a brat and she would force them to fight. She would get jealous when her dad showed any love or attention to my cousin and my cousin would get mad at her husband boyfriend at the time. She refused to come to their wedding she is just a brat. She comes to the our house for the holidays and she is nice to everyone. The only person she is rude to is my cousin and she has no reason to treat her that way except for the fact that she is her fathers wife. At first my cousin would let her get them in fights every 2 weeks but now she learned and she doenst let her cause fights.
2007-09-25 17:19:32 · answer #10 · answered by <Carol> 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's a little funny sounding that after two years you haven't met. You should meet somewhere neutral, somewhere she picks, perhaps her favourite place to eat for lunch, somehwere like that. IF you go with the headspace that she is spoilted, you aren't going to like her very much. Pretend you don't know anything about her, that you don't know her mother, and you are just meeting your fiance's daughter and give her a chance.
2007-09-25 16:34:14 · answer #11 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋