I got married last month, and needless to say, my Mother I law is not my favorite person. She was in trouble for drugs most of the duration of my husband's youth, ect. We have good jobs, good records and are paying for a home. Mommy dearest just got evicted, didn't say what for, and we decided to be nice and give her a place to live temporarily. On top of getting shady phone calls and visitors, she has insisted that we not have sex in our own home while she lives here. She can't hear us, we sleep in the main house and she stays, well, in the Mother In Law house/cabin out back. She walks into the house at night and starts yelling if we are up, even just talking in our room, and has even called my father to tell him what a pervert I am for wanting sex in the same home as my MIL lives. She has talked bad about us to the neighbors, as if I'm a prostitute! Hubby has warned her but where do we draw the line?
2007-09-25 15:15:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank you all! it's hard to choose a 'best' answer. As of yesterday, hubby kicked mil to the curb after she went so far as to call CPS and tell them that our 7 yr old daughter was being abused by "her meth-addict mom" ha! No contact order has been forwarded.
2007-09-27 04:49:16 · update #1
Tell her that it's your house, and if she wants to stay, then she better shut her mouth and let you and your husband live your own lives. If she can't handle that, then kick her out. I would have kicked her out the first time she yelled at me... It's your house. Remember that. You're doing her a favor. DO NOT bend over backwards and ruin your relationship with your husband because of an insane MIL.
2007-09-25 15:23:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're married, it's your house. Dump her. She has absolutely no business telling a married couple how to live their own life (especially when she apparently can't run her own properly.)
She does not own your house; you do. If you can't dump her, kick her out of your house except when you allow her to come in. Inform her that the next time she comes into the house without knocking she will be treated as a trespasser and arrested, then you will get a restraining order to keep her away. And be willing to stick to it.
You might even tell her that if she objects you'll have her thrown out immediately. But under no circumstances should you impose this ultimatum unless you can get your husband to go along, and you are willing to go that far.
Unless you cut her off she's going to continue to make your life a living hell. And the worst thing about it is, since you allowed it to continue when you could have stopped it, you'll deserve all the hell you have to go through because you didn't.
2007-09-25 22:24:08 · answer #2 · answered by Paul R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she may still be on drugs. She will bring nothing but trouble for you two and right now that's the last thing you want or need.
Whose house do you two live in? Can you lock your doors at night or change locks if she has the key?
Get a restraining order if it comes to it. I know you wanted to do the right thing and provide a place for her to live but she's nearly ruining your life and could be putting you and your husband in danger if there are shady people coming around.
Sorry about your situation, I hope that it gets worked out soon and that you can enjoy being a newlywed.
2007-09-25 22:22:08 · answer #3 · answered by kikitiki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm....I'd say hubby needs to give her the one month notice now....she's a royal pain in the neck and needs to be OUT. You are married for crying out loud, you can have sex anytime you'd like in YOUR HOUSE. In fact, maybe that will be a good way to get rid of her (she already said you were a pervert anyway). So start having sex in very obvious ways, make her uncomfortable as you can. Set her up to 'walk in' on a very suggestive situation, maybe making out on the couch or on the kitchen counters...ha ha... I'm laughing just thinking about it! LOL
2007-09-25 22:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her it is your house. If she doesn't like it, she should find another place to live. If you have the nerve, start having sex on the living room couch when you see her coming to your house. That's how we stopped my MIL from dropping in every day. We saw her coming, stripped, jumped on the couch. When she came in, we were hard at it. She screamed at us. We went ahead and finished, then told her it was our house, our couch, and if she didn't like it she should call next time. It worked.
2007-09-25 22:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are allowing this woman to live in YOUR home. If she doesn't like the way you and your husband want to keep your home, she can leave. There is no line here as far as I can see. This woman sounds like she has serious problems, and it's likely in your best interest to get her out of your house sooner rather than later.
2007-09-25 22:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by ljh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you're mother in law starts causing problems it is time for her to go you are family and you can pick you're friends not you're family, so she needs to be let known she needs to be out by a certain date, you have done all you can for her, and you will help her hunt for a home or help move her out, but this is putting a strain on you're marriage, and if she is not willing to move out knowing she is the problem, then she does not want the best for you both because any mother I know if they feel they are causing problems for thier son they would back off, this is you're home not her's, and you are married now you do not need her parenting you like you are in high school or her home.
2007-09-25 22:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by hurtheart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time for her to go. If you can afford it put her in an apartment. If not, change the locks, explain to her that she is in your home and lives by your rules or finds a place to live. don't mess up your marriage by putting up with this. if hubby can't get up the nerve to do it ( which he should have by now) then give him a push or do it together.
2007-09-25 22:22:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is it with mother-in-laws?? That is so disrepectful! Put your foot down, this is YOUR house and YOUR husband. Discuss it with your husband and make a set of rules for her to follow if she's intending to stay at your house. Tell her that if she doesn't follow them she can always leave.
God that makes me so angry!!!! Good luck !!!!
2007-09-25 22:22:11 · answer #9 · answered by dRew 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like M-I-L needs another talking to from your husband.......if she is just starting to get her life back together its going to take some time for the brain cells to start to register......keep the door locked at night........or if she must use the bathroom leave her a set of ear-muffs at the door......you can also tell her that if she is not happy with the accommodations she might want to start looking for someplace to go
2007-09-25 22:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋