I haven't seen my friend in over ten years, but, she's my best friend. It's a friendship that began with our grandparents, then our mothers, now us. She e-mailed a couple weeks ago, to introduce me to her new baby girl, Kelly Gabriela. She also mentioned that Kelly had to stay hospitalized because she had intestinal blockage. My aunt just e-mailed my mom, and told her that Kelly passed away. I want to call my friend, but it just doesn't feel like it's the right time to do it yet, I just wouldn't know what to say. I do want to e-mail her, but can't seem to find the right words.
I know I shouldn't be asking this, but, what can I say to comfort her? It's not a situation that I've been through, and God forbid I ever have too, I pray that He watches over my children everyday.
Does anyone know of a poem, or something special that I might say to her at this difficult time. My mind is so blocked right now, I don't want to say the wrong things.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
2007-09-25 14:35:49 · 11 answers · asked by Butterflies 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Just to clarify, we haven't seen each other in the ten years, not because we didn't want to, we are both in different countries.
2007-09-27 08:55:47 · update #1
If it were me, I would call right away and just say something to the effect of "I'm heard the news and I'm so sorry. How are you doing?". Let her do the talking and just listen. It's okay to say "I don't know what to say". People don't want to deal with these situations because they don't know what to say or are afraid to say the wrong thing so you're friend is possibly feeling pretty alone right now. Call. Call now. Just be there for her and listen. Let her cry. Then check up on her again in a few days or a week. I'm sure she needs a lot of support right now.
2007-09-25 14:42:26 · answer #1 · answered by MG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for your friend so much! I do not know how I would handle losing a child like that. I don't think anyone can give you the proper way of handling something like this because everyone is different and everyone greives in their own way. I would call her and just let her know that you are there for her. Email is really not a good way to go about something like this, unless you are unable to make a phone call. And really, writing a letter and sending it through the actual mail would probably be better fitting than just an email. I really wouldn't talk about it too much with her if you talk to her, let her lead the way, allow her to say what she wants to say and how much info she wants to talk about. But just make sure she knows you are there for her and you love her. As long as your heart is in the right place, she'll feel your love.
2007-09-25 21:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki in PA 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How far are you from her? Instead of asking what you can do, DO something. If she has other children, take them to the park or the movies. Bring groceries, stay and make a meal. Clean her house, or send a cleaning service. Do her laundry. There's not a lot you can say, she probably can't even process it. Try to take an action. Volunteer to help with the services if they have some, coordinate food drop offs or flowers. This is your chance to show her how much she means to you.
2007-09-25 21:51:30 · answer #3 · answered by maegs33 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a suggestion: I know there are no words that I can say right now that can possibly convey how sorry I am for your loss. I want you to know that I am here for you if you need anything or if you just need someone to listen.
I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. Just from your question one can tell how much you really care...it shows that you are truly considering your friend's feeling at this most delicate and vulnerable time in her life.
2007-09-26 01:37:18 · answer #4 · answered by kendi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, the worst thing you could say is nothing. Call her; it's more personal than e-mail and she really needs that kind of connection. Let her direct the conversation. If she wants to talk about her baby, listen. If she wants a distraction, talk about something else. Just let her know that you're there for whatever she needs.
2007-09-25 21:44:00 · answer #5 · answered by Caitlin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just call her. You may not say the right thing, but your friend will at least know how much you care about her. Maybe you could go and see her if that is possible. It already sounds like she has a great best friend. Best wishes to you and your best friend during this horrible time.
2007-09-26 00:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by Rosey55 D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that. I think the best thing would be to say something from your heart, maybe having to do with her name, Kelly. My name is Kelly, so I know it is pretty easy to write something. God bless you, your family, your friend, her family, and mostly Kelly Gabriela.
2007-09-25 22:45:37 · answer #7 · answered by Mommy of 4 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send her a prayer and tell her to hang in there dont send the email too early but not too late so she wont think you forgot and wont think you are rushing in she'll be fine
2007-09-25 21:40:48 · answer #8 · answered by ~Love...Peace...Happiness~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you do anything, call her. i know that you haven't seen her in ten years, but you calling would mean so much to her at this time. i have friends that i have no spoken to in years, but still consider them friends. i would want them to call me.
2007-09-25 22:13:35 · answer #9 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know you are there for her if she needs anything and you care about her. Thats what friends are for. My sympathy to your friend and family.
2007-09-25 21:42:15 · answer #10 · answered by the_lintons2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋