I clean houses, and one woman I have been cleaning for could really use some prayer! I started cleaning house for her and her husband about 2 or 2 1/2 years ago. Well, a few months ago her husband died. Now when I go to her house I find things in terrible disarray! Clothes everywhere, shoes scattered over the whole bedroom floor, rotten food, old stinky milk containers, trash not appearing to have been taken out since my last visit (I come every two weeks). I have found used Attends on the floor, before her husband passed away she never used Attends. I used to be able to clean her whole house (upstairs and down) in 4 hours, now I barely clean the upstairs in that time, even though I no longer have to clean one of the bedrooms or bathrooms.
She also had been a car wreck recently, and is now taking an Access bus to a Senior center nearby. She obsesses about the bus all morning, they are not due until 10:30 but she parks herself by the door waiting at 9:00 and is afraid to even
2007-09-25 14:11:54 · 9 answers · asked by Thrice Blessed 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
go to the bathroom for fear she'll miss the buss.
She also asked me if I know of a seamstress, because as she said, "All of my pants have gotten too small." I asked about that and found out that she weighs 85 pounds, and loses more every week. She has Ensure, but she must not finish many bottles because every time I clean I find about 20 bottles 2/3 full of spoiled Ensure.
2007-09-25 14:14:58 · update #1
She tells me that she doesn't sleep at night because she is afraid that she'll oversleep and miss her bus.
In my opinion, she needs to fire me and hire a live in helper. I suggested to her that live in help might be a better option for her, but so far she hasn't done it.
I care about this woman, she isn't "just another customer" to me. She was my first customer and I consider her a friend. What can I do to help her? I hate seeing her deteriorate like this! I just don't know what to do, or even if its "my place" to do anything!
2007-09-25 14:18:17 · update #2
I'm surprised that someone at the Senior Center hasn't taken notice of her odd behavior (trust me, it doesn't just happen at home) and contacted her family. This would be the thing to do, that's assuming that she has family.
It's obvious that she has some problems and certainly needs help. In cases like this, sometimes the persons involved get very resentful if you try to steer them into a place that takes away their independence.
If she does not have family, call your local Agency on Aging. The National Hotline number is 1-800-510-2020. Your call will be directed to the nearest office. In these offices they have personnel that can deal with this in a sensitive way and get her the help that she needs. Time is of the essence in this case.
It's so sad to see our Seniors like this. But, thankfully, she has someone like you that really cares about what's going on in her life.
Bless you for your kind thought! She's in my prayers.
2007-09-25 14:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by Cranky 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
All the things everybody said...and contact her doctor. I'm sure he'd make a home visit..or send a nurse. She might be getting dehydrated too. If you don't do SOMETHING to help her...they might consider you an "accomplice" or something...I don't know what they'd call it..but it would be like seeing someone lieing on the street and just "walking on by". You've GOT to do something. Choose from any of those things the others told you and get on it !! Don't wait another 2 weeks. How will you feel if you go back and she's dead? If nothing else...ask the police what to do. I knew an elderly woman who "collected" everything..like newspapers. Her nephew was "checking" on her..but her elec. was cut off. The one year it snowed on Christmas in Fl. here...and she died...don't know if she froze to death or what. He had taken her a blanket, but I don't know if he knew her elec was off. Her SS checks were piled up in her mailbox. She wouldn't let anyone in her house. It's getting out of hand. Get her some help, please.
2007-09-25 23:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by Deenie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is sad situation, but, unfortunately, it is not uncommon. Lots of elderly individuals tend to spiral down hill after the loss of a spouse, usually women. I've seen this with my grandmother and during my experience as a home health nurse. If she has no family available for help, perhaps you could, as another has suggested, contact her physician or try to encourage her to make an appointment. She more than likely qualifies for home health services (doesn't need to be a medical need, can be a mental health need as well). A home health agency has access/referal capabilities to numerous resources in the community. Most agencies will have multiple disciplines in the homes that can address medical, mental health, nutrition, etc. Local, state, and federal programs can be arranged through social workers via home health as well. Good luck and God bless. You and your employer will stay in my prayers.
2007-09-25 23:35:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you know she had family, it is time to take matters into your own hands and notify them of what is going on...she is on the road to dementia big time...her family probably has no idea of the state of her mind. She has lost her reason to live, and is probably living in another world entirely now. It will do no good to talk to her about it. IF she does not have family it may be time to either notify the state OR file for executrix of her estate and care..that is a paying position, a full time job, and ....sorry, but you will become responsible for her, her money, etc. This is only the beginning of her slide. I am so sorry you are in this position, but something must be done quicky, for she is dangerous to herself. Fire, scam artists, etc. are a big danger to her. She should NOT have control of her finances, for if she does, she won't have any long. IF you do not know of family, ask her to talk about her family, where they are, etc....then, go through her address book, etc. to find phones and addresses. Someone is going to do this, with or without you. The world if full of people who look for people like this to fleece, often with the court's blessings. Good luck and please help her out...she is depending upon you far more than you realize. Peace, Goldwing
2007-09-25 22:15:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to find out whether she has children or other relatives that can come and observe and make some decisions with her.
You are by all means doing the right thing, by watching out for your friend. If she has lived in that house a while, maybe a neighbor could tell you who you should contact.
Just express your concerns to the relative or friend, they may not be aware, that she is needing some special attention.
She most definitely needs some help. God bless you for your concern and desire to help.
Email me if you want to.
2007-09-25 21:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by kayboff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to contact her doctor.
If she has family I hope they are not ignoring her. If they lived locally they would be well aware of the problem. If they spoke to her on the phone they would know.
The problem could be her medications. If she was depressed & really not coping with her husband's death, they might have put her on antidepressants or something for anxiety. She could be taking too much or not taking it as directed. I just can't see her going down hill that fast even with the death. I would check her meds & see what she is taking.
2007-09-25 23:31:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is totally depressed due to her husbands death, and is not caring or taking care of herself. Does she have any relatives that you can contact?. It looks like her only contacts are with people at the Senior Center, maybe you can talk to someone there and get her some help. She definitely needs it. Please do not delay, in this matter. And thanks for caring about her and wanting to do something. May God bless you for looking after those who can not look after themself.
2007-09-26 15:43:05 · answer #7 · answered by Moe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i saw on a cops show that there was an old lady that they had to go to a house where an old woman was wollowing in garbage like that it is out of your hands no , too overwhelming she needs to be taken care of where it is healthier and clean for her.Either that or try feeding her as much nectarine juice as possible to help her neurotransmitters,but i think they are out of season.
2007-09-25 21:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Contact Social Services, they will get her councling, but first try her family. Thanks for being there for her.
2007-09-25 22:07:23 · answer #9 · answered by Glinda W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋