Dream Reality
As the sun sets and darkness falls
You lie on your pillow and dream
Dream the life you wish you had
The life that everybody else takes for granted
You dream of the glory, the fame, that wonderful significant other
You dream that all your flaws would disappear
You dream and suddenly awaken from your surreal surroundings only to find reality ….
2007-09-25 13:59:13 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I think it's a dumb question. Never ask such things unless you really want to know (and have a fairly thick skin).
In this case the meter stumbles all over itself (actually, there doesn't seem to even be one). The inter-verse syllabic balance is terrible, and the imagery is somewhere between poor and non-existant.
Have you ever thought about writing technical manuals or maybe cookbooks?
Doug
2007-09-25 14:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by doug_donaghue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its good, try to smooth it out. It seems like everybody who submits things on here has poems that r really ruff around the edges. work on smoothing out the end. then it will be perfect
2007-09-25 21:20:49 · answer #2 · answered by dragonflyy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good
2007-09-25 21:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋