A friend asked me to homecoming and I shot him down. He already knows I'm seeing someone who moved and lives in another state but will move back next year...so I dunno if I was being too insensitive or not. The exact conversation was very close, if not exactly like this:
Him:
"Do you want to come to homecoming with me?"
Me:
"Nope" (it was an instant response)
Him:
"Oh, I figured you might say that...Well I only called to ask you that, but I have something else to do right now. I have to go, sorry."
I feel kind of bad...but he should really know better...I mean, I don't even like dances to begin with, plus I'm seeing someone. I wasn't too harsh with my "nope" was I?
2007-09-25 13:58:07 · 22 answers · asked by Bats 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
He knows I'm seeing someone. Seriously, that's all I ever talk about when I talk to people.
2007-09-25 14:03:03 · update #1
Ok, well the long distance thing is actually pretty serious since it's been going on for the past three years. Will no one side with me =( Although I must agree...my instant reaction wasn't that great..
2007-09-25 14:04:34 · update #2
Oh, and I had said "nope" in like a casual way...I honestly wasn't trying to be mean..it just was an instant response <.<
2007-09-25 14:05:38 · update #3
Yes, it *seems* a bit insensitive in writing, but we readers can't know what tone of voice you had-- it could have been in kind of a jokey way, maybe making light of the situation.
If he's a friend, maybe you could explain the next time you talk to him that his question kind of starled you b/c he knows about your relationship & that you didn't intend to go to the dance anyway.
Ppl should understand that just b/c a relationship is temporarily long-distance, it can be totally serious. My SO & I first got together when he was visiting from out of state ;-)
2007-09-26 07:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by Catkin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if the guy you're seeing is in another state and isnt gonna come back for a year, then the guy was probably just wanting to go with you because of a few reasons. BIG #1- He likes you. most guys don't think or even care to check if the one they like is dating someone else, only trying to find an opening to try and be with that person. #2- He thought that since the guy you're dating is not coming back for a year, He thought that you would not mind just having some fun with him, and I dont mean that in a gross way. I've found that Long -distance relationships dont usually work out when you wont see the person for a- YEAR! just kidding ( well, not really. sort of) but my advice is this. Break up with your boyfriend ( and not to be mean, but just to free yourself from a boring year (365 days(8760 hours(525600 Minutes(31536000seconds))))), and then If you like the other guy go with him to the dance as friends and see what happens. then when the other guy comes back, continue your dating with him.
2007-09-25 14:15:30 · answer #2 · answered by Paul Muad' Dib Atreides 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-19 23:50:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You forgot the silence after the instant response. That was very cold. Why are the Asians girls always the cold selfish ones?
2007-09-26 17:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by zotzotzot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knew and ask you, May he felt like he should ask you so you would have some one to go with as a friend. And if bothers you , call and tell him you are sorry if you were to harsh , But you have a boyfriend , and don't want to cheat on him. Good Luck
2007-09-25 14:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by Joan f 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It all denounces to the same thing at the end, but maybe an instant "no" was a bit harsh. Maybe you could have explained a little.... But it's what you prefer. ^^
2007-09-25 14:01:34 · answer #6 · answered by Bytemeh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you were way too insensitive. He can't know your feelings about another person; you were expecting him to read your mind. Doesn't happen.
Besides, that long distance thing will prpbably peter out before next year, and technically, you're not seeing ANYONE right now.
You did not have to be so abrupt. We call that castigating. Look it up.
2007-09-25 14:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think that he should have thought it out before he asked you. "Nope" is pretty blunt though, maybe next time say something like "I can't, I'm still seeing soandso" and you might add a "but thanks for asking me" just for good measure. Still, you have every reason for saying that and you just didn't really think out your answere, which is sometimes a bad habit, I do it too.
2007-09-25 14:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well if he knew you were seeing someone he should of known you were going to say no. Maybe he just wanted to go as friends? I guess it depends how you said it too, then you will know if you were insensitive.
2007-09-25 14:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
hate to break it to you... but i think you are being a little insensitive. A "nope" without talking with him might be a little cold. I am not trying to be mean... but it's true.
2007-09-25 14:07:30 · answer #10 · answered by halfpint 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋