After being verbally abused for 20 years, some physically abused, and taught that it's okay to hit others, how does one get rid of these thoughts about one's self, get rid of the abuse that they were taught and stop hitting others, learn inner self peace, and inner self acceptance? I'm already in counseling. It's working, but I don't see her enough.
2007-09-25 13:36:30 · 4 answers · asked by ~*Wifey of a Veteran*~ 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I'm tired of hitting and abusing my boyfriend, almost causing him to leave me. I really do love him, but if something don't change fast, I'm going to lose him.
2007-09-25 14:13:26 · update #1
there is a type of breathing called 'diaphramatic breathing' . when practiced, it allows the experience of the 'here & now' to override all of the internal chatter going on (about putting the garbage out, feeding the cat, what susy and her friend said about me today, what really is global warming, etc.
the easiest way i know to enable this is to imagine a plastic shopping bag as being the stomach and it filling & expanding each time a breath is drawn, and it completely deflating each time the breath is released. children and animals breathe this way.
initial trauma often causes a person to stop breathing or to shallow breathe.
this is dire for the breather, as then they will cease to react to the trauma and simply be taken over by it.
also, because it was in traumatic circumstances that this response (shallow breathing) was born, it will become an inborn reaction for the breather, when faced with further difficulties.
as soon as the breather begins to feel blue or irritable or anything other than peaceful, they may take for granted that they haven't breathed deeply lately.
before you were deeply abused, you were a brilliant, fresh entity brimming with potential.
that it was beaten out of you was other people's crap.
remember back before the crap if you can, even if it was 100 years ago or an incomplete memory.
if we can be it once, we can be it again. it is every human's birthright to be that brilliant, fresh entity brimming with potential.
don't let them tell you otherwise. don't let them grind you down. don't try arguing, just get out of the premises.
get away from the stuff that throws you off your true path & keep breathing, ok?
2007-09-25 18:06:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will take you a long while, but don't give up. One's history is not so easily erased. You have to slowly learn a new set of responses. The other person's suggestion that you pray is a good one. Meditation is also good. You may want to try looking into taking a retreat. It is a time to be quiet and reflective about your life. Good luck.
2007-09-25 20:56:15 · answer #2 · answered by cavassi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will be very honest with you on this one, you need spiritual guidance. A simple prayer to G-d as often as you need and want is a good start. You WILL get answers, this I know. Read the Bible a little at a time each day. It WILL speak to you and your needs. In this and in G-d you will gain inner peace and learn the G-d will never leave you alone, no never alone, never alone!!! Begin in peace
2007-09-25 20:42:05 · answer #3 · answered by Yahoo S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pray. Pray for your life and others. Adopt the christian faith, and TRULEY belive in god. He, and only he can save your life. I belive in god, and i nee to work on my faith, i'm going to a tuff time and havn't been pryaing. So i am going to work at it, so i can please god. I really pray for you to really adopt this faith and become the person god wants you to be.
2007-09-25 20:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋