My daughter's father pays me weekly. Has been for two years. I am having financial trouble and asked if he could take her for about 6 months. Hewould not have to pay child support of course. We live in different states (1000 miles). He was good with it until he talked to his girlfriend, who by the way is pregnant. I understand they have a relationship it will affect. I'm not impractical. I have had my daughter for three years by myself. Once homeless for 10 mos. He told me he has a new family now (the nerve). Said he can take her next summer. He wants to go through his "lawyers" now. I had left her with him for two summers with no issues. I paid for the tickets to and from. I did this about 5 times for her to see him (without lawyers). I am now asking for legal/physical custody. His visitation would be for summer, school breaks longer than 1 wk, 1/2 tickets to visit, medical, education, reimbursement for tickets I paid for (receipts). Was nice to him until this. am i wrong?
2007-09-25 08:52:01 · 13 answers · asked by tasha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She is on my insurance, I meant half of unpaid medical expenses.
2007-09-25 08:55:33 · update #1
I guess I feel if I have to do it why do you get to have excuses. I can't give her an excuse when she's hungry, or tell her mommy cant. Those are not options. It's also a shock and slap in the face to me. He takes things out on me without knowing he is doing to his daughter and not me. All I can do is fight for her.
2007-09-25 09:00:27 · update #2
He has this notion that we can't be friends if he has a girlfriend. I will be in his town, my former. I asked to speak to him about our daughter. So he didn't believe me and said you don't have a chance, you don't have any chance with me. We have been broken up 3yrs. I don't want a chance, I really try to talk to him like an adult. I am 27 he is 31. But i don't like to talk to him because he takes me from normal to jail status in 0.1 seconds flat, because he is unreasonable.
2007-09-25 09:05:00 · update #3
seems to me likehe cares more about what his new woman is telling him in his ears than doing whatever it takes to have agood and responsible relationship with you and his child..............that really sucks.
maybe if you need to send her somewhere to get a break sometimes you can send her to a relative's that you trust or put her in summer school or send her to camp.
2007-09-25 08:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by WHOISTHEPUPPETMASTER? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's an interesting question. If my ex wife asked me to take my kids for an extended period (6 months) not only would I do so, but after about 2 months I'd file for full custody.
I understand your in financial straits, but I suggest you figure out your financial problems and get your act together. The dad in this case does not want to deal with the kid and if you try to force that, then you'll only end up hurting the child.
If your not getting enough to support the child then I suggest you pursue taking him back to court for more child support. That's kind of an odd thing for a man to be telling you, but your first concern should be the kid. You must step up and be more responsible financially and he must do so as well. You can also ask the court to grant your attorney's fees be paid by the kids father if he refuses to up the support and he's below the minimum.
Hope this helps.
2007-09-25 09:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by wrkey 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO you are not wrong do what you have to do,I made the mistake of not going through court for child support me and my ex-husband made an agreement of how much he would give me every two weeks,well now he keeps falling behind on the payments,and right now he is 2 1 /2 months behind,well now I have total custody of the kids and on the processes of getting child support through court,we been divorced for 6 years now and is always the same story "I won't fall behind on the payments again" well this time I am making sure he doesn't fall behind,you and your kids come first,good luck.
2007-09-25 09:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by emerald 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do your very best to shield your daughter from these dicussions. It does tremendous harm to a child's self esteem to fund out that either or both parents do not want them around.
If he is paying child support, he is going to want it on the record, as well as any change in placement, since the family courts tend to be very suspicious of fathers.
Its great that he pays you weekly, and if my ex offered to let me have the kids without paying support I would jump at the chance. But as you say, he found out that his GF saw things differently.
It sounds like he is a fairly responsible person who wanted to do what was right for his child, but ran into some opposition. I would go ahead and get a more formal arrangement of shared custody, one parent during the school year and visits with the other over the summer since it sounds like the child is used to that. Its sad that you live so far apart, could you move to the city where he lives? It sounds like you perhaps could. that would be wonderful for your daughter and easier on both parents to share placement and reduce travel expenses. lower the stress for everyone.
I moved across town when my ex moved, so I could be closer to the kids and they could walk or ride their bikes over to my house. Its been a wonderful thing for everyone.
2007-09-25 09:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by John M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your being a reasonable person. He helped make the child, and he needs to help raise her; weather or not he has a girlfriend or not. He needs to step up, and be a man. You have every right to ask for legal/physical custody; you have been the responsible party up till thus far, so go for it.
2007-09-25 08:59:29 · answer #5 · answered by diablo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Far from it. What A Loser! He is Not A MAN
As Far as I am concerned.I raised my son my self.
His mom kicked me out and 4 days after that drooped him with me at my Parents where I stayed After she booted me. Then she took off ,SPLIT VANISHED, TOOK THE MONEY AND CREDIT CARDS AND RAN. I filed Abandonment of the child
in to my care as my reason for full custody order.
I also made it clear in the documents of her theft of over 62,000 in cash and credit debit.
That if she was to attempt any recourse in filing for custody, support etc. that she didn't have A leg
to stand on. Long story short I did let him stay with his mom She tried to collect support paid to her for him while he was with her and she did not
get A thing. I did set up A bank account for him while he was with her and had A court Appointed
Social worker who Administrated Dispersal of funds to her for him. She did not take much interest in him after she found out that she could not handle the$$$$$$. Back to your problem,
I would tell him to be A REAL MAN AND A TRUE FATHER For HIS Daughter. Also let him know
It dose not matter if he is starting A New LIFE WITH HIS NEXT EX that that child is still Apart of that family TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No matter how many family's he gets started his Children are going to be A part of them no matter what. It stinks that you will need to get A lawyer to handle this and I would make it if it were possible that he pays the lawyer,Court fees etc. I have an amendment for your Legal decree in this. Seeing how you are in
Finical trouble,I would amend that you have full custody Visitation as you have it except he Pays
The round trip in full and in any medical or finical
problems you might have,IE; lost job ,housing etc. That his responsibility is to take the child upon your request so your able to reestablish A home environment that is safe for her and your self.
Make it clear in the wording that it is not that you are intending for any of this to happen but it is their for the just in case. I know how rough it was
with me after she split with the $$$$ I had 2 pay
the credit cards off and the company I had started I had 2 close it,and I became A weekly slave to the grind. We were homeless for about 2 years,
I was paying A person what I would have paid in rent A month to have A roof over my kids head.
I got luck and won 3 1000.00 dollar jackpots in A row and that got he n I in to our new home.
He is 21 and moved to where his mom is he went to try to get her involved in his life Bot she rejected him and it caused him to due some
Stupid things now he is stuck in this little town in Missouri due to the 5 year probation he acquired.
Now I support him as much as I can with Positive words and$$$ when he needs it. I Due what I can
And work as much as possible. Right now the company I am working for is real slow ,that is why I am here on answers right now. Stick to your guns and it will work out. Just remember your only able to due do the BEST YOU CAN with
WHAT YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH. Your in my prayers this to shall come to pass.
2007-09-25 10:02:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You specific can hire a attorney and choose for the money no remember what you certainly could be compensated or he could be put in reformatory for back baby help yet i think of there's a time line so touch an attorney
2016-10-05 08:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, u are being nice about it, but u have to understand, he DOES have a new family now, and if ur daughter being there with him and his new g/f will affect them, he does not have to take your daughter n, but shoud speak to his g/f, keep trying.
2007-09-25 08:56:43 · answer #8 · answered by IPFREELY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's better to get all this in legal form before his other child is born.
I wish I lived near you, I'd babysit your daughter for you. :)
Good luck! :)
2007-09-25 08:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by searching_please 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont think you r wrong and its best to get this kind of stuff taken care of before his new child is born it will be best not just fo you but your duaghter and him also
2007-09-25 09:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋