HELP! I NEED a LIFE COACH?!?

Question

I am so depressed. Let me tell you just how pathetic my life has been since I was about 16yrs old. I had very negative thoughts of myself since I was that age. Looking back, I was ashamed of who I was, how I looked, extremely self concious, and had just an extremely distorted view of myself and reality. My sophmore year of high school is when I gave up on life, school, and friends. I started to wear very baggy clothes to school, to cover my body, and wanted to hide from everything and everyone. I became an introvert and isolated myself. I was extremely tired all the time and never wanted to do anything but sleep. Life was a drag, my job was a drag, school was a drag, I was a zombie through life! Anyway, now I'm 22 and have grown up a lot and have come out of my shell and have grown into myself so much more! However, I still have occasional bouts with depression still. College is so difficult and relationships are even harder. I lived alone, on my own, since I was 19, and

I find that the fact that I live alone and so isolated, makes me crazy! And that it's not good for me. I don't know what to do though. My relationships with men are even more confusing! I get into emotionally abusive situations/relationships and get very wrapped up. I become obsessed/possessive and my world revolves around a guy. I can't eat, hardly sleep, and I won't do anything but think about and wait around for a guy. I have missed out on so many things in life because of this. I have very unhealthy/(taking advantage of me/walk all over me) type relationships. Even so-called "friends" use me whenever they have the chance. I am not loved. I don't know what the hell is the matter with me. Besides depression, why do I become so wrapped up in unhealthy relationships where I lose myself, dignity, goals, and give up everything? I beginning to think I'm going crazy. I need a life coach. I'm so confused in life and in need of some serious help before I have a major breakdown. Thanks.

Answer 1

Good for you for coming so far since 16. Also, it's really good that you know you are getting in unhealthy social situations- realizing that is honestly the first step. Now to change...that is a long and very hard process. No ones life is perfect. I also have things that I can't stand about myself, and I have trouble making new friends. I think it is very important to take care of yourself first. Be OK with being you. Eat healthy, sleep well, exercise, educate yourself, partake in a hobby. Maybe you meet the wrong people because you depend on them too much. When you get involved with the activities/jobs that you love to do- you will meet people on a similar level as you. I recommend joining a yoga studio- they are so up lifting. I meet wonderful people at my yoga studio- also through the jobs I get. It takes a while, but once you start loving yourself and displaying inner confidence- the right people will be attracted to that and they will be the ones worth keeping in your life. I wish you the best of luck <3

Answer 2

it sounds like you are doing great....you've done a lot for yourself...good for you.

If college is too difficult then try community college instead, get your AA and then take the last two years in a college rather than a university.

I suspect that living on your own you probably eat a lot of junk food (that's normal). But you're probably lacking good nutrition, so I'd suggest you take a multiple vitamin supplement, and eat a lot of vegetables and fruits, get some sun and sit by a pool sometimes, and treat yourself good sometimes as well by dining out. I find that in living alone, if every time you've done something good for someone, accomplished something, hit a new plateau, that you go out and celebrate and do something you've always wanted to do or wanted to try...like maybe a hobby or some entertainment, or some particular food, or some travel, or amusement park or just simply spend some money on yourself, and that will help with any depression you might be experiencing. We all have down days, or downers in our life, but you know how to overcome those, so you're doing very well.

Answer 3

k, first of all, congrats for reaching out and wanting something different for yourself. I encourage you to find an ongoing life coach you connect with and form a long term relationship with, not cause you say you're depressed, but because we all need coaching. Look at your language patterns first. I am so depressed, my life is pathetic, ect. Begin to "reframe" your life through your language. Are you depressed or WERE you depressed? Also, give yourself the gift of dropping your "story". What I mean is we all have one and when it no longer serves us, we need to let it go and stop connecting to ourselves through our sad, miserly, tragic past. Today is what you have and tomorrow so decide what you want and focus, taking SMALL steps. Start each day deciding how it's going to go. Look at your physiology. Depressed people slump and don't smile. Happy people stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile. Emotion comes from motion so by beginning to move differently, you will naturally feel different. Forgive yourself for the past and if you are someone who blames others, take responsibility for your own life. I spent so much time depressed and "stuck", then started going to seminars, listening to tapes and reading books, now I have coaches to help me out and people I coach. Some great coaches are Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Esther Hicks, Don miguel Ruiz. Lots of love to you.

Answer 4

Dear Brandi,

I can recommend Robert Burney, as a life coach. I have had, about thirteen, one hour sessions, with him, on the telephone. They have helped me tremendously. Following is his website:

http://joy2meu.com/

His rate is sixty dollars per hour, a very nominal rate for a counselor. However, I realize it may be a bit much for a college student. You may want to start with his book, "Dance of Wounded Souls", with shipping it is under twenty-dollars.

Another alternative is counseling at your school. Most likely it is free, or there may be a small charge. There also, is a lot of self help literature available on the web, free of charge. A good place to start is wikipedia. Following, is a link to the definition of "covert incest", also called "emotional incest", and "psychic incest".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_incest

I recommend, you carefully read the brief description with and open mind, and then do searches on these phrases. You may be quite surprised, as to what you find. Most likely, you will discover, your problems started long before adolescence.

Please stay with school; it will help you in many ways. I know it can be tough at times. It took me ten years to get a four-year degree. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to send me a message.

Larry

Answer 5

They exist; they are called therapists.

For now, just don't get involved with men. Give yourself some time to finish growing up, and to deal with whatever is behind your bad choices.

After you've spent some time without a guy, you'll realize you don't NEED one, and will be saner in your choices.

But get yourself a life coach. Someone you can talk to who can help you gain the insight you need to work through all this stuff.

Answer 6

email me