how do i know if my daughter is a virgin still?

Question

she's 14 but she likes to flirt alot with guys n she lies too much n invents stuff

Answer 1

Just because she flirts too much doesn't mean that she isn't a virgin, but I do not have children and I would probably ask the same thing in your situation. Just be honest and see what your daughter is up to, ask politely if she has started having sex. To me, the word virgin is more like are you a good girl or a bad girl. Of course, it is always good to be a virgin, but in today's society, young girls and boys really don't care anymore they want to have sex, have it now, and don't really care about the consenquences. Using the word virgin could make it something of a shame to her. I believe that no teen should be ashamed of having sex, however, proper teaching about when one is ready is very important. You can't stop them, only teach them. But, in your case, just ask her. Be a mother though, not the friend, but let her know that she could tell you anything. DO NOT FORCE HER TO GO TO A GYNO, to prove if she is still a virgin. I was in a bike accident that I am positive that it tore my hymen, so asking is the best way to go. Just don't be paranoid, you could drive her away. It could also make her hate you, which I have seen first hand when someone took their teen to the Health Dept. to see what she had been up to. Just not a good idea. Just ask, best advice I can give. What you need to ask yourself though is what if she tells you that she isn't a virgin? Something to figure out before asking I would say. Better to have a game plan than going in by the seat of your pants.

Answer 2

You won't know unless you sit down and talk to her. If you find out that she is sexually active, you need to definitely tell her that she needs to be safe. I am not saying that you have to accept this, but you DO need to tell her that this is a decision that you hope she won't regret. No parent wants to know that their teen is sexually active. Definitely let her know about STD's and pregnancy.

I have a very open relationship with my daughter, and we talk about this all the time. She IS a virgin and plans to stay a virgin until she is married.

Hope that you are able to sit down and talk to her. I hope she is honest with you. If she can't talk to you, maybe she is just uncomfortable for whatever reason. Do you have a sister or cousin she might feel more comfortable with? At least she would be talking to a relative and not a complete stranger.

Answer 3

I'm afraid there is no way you can know for sure. The only source you have is your daughter's word, and if her word cannot be trusted, then you have no way of knowing. Either trust what she says about her virginity, or let the issue go. More than her virginity, your concern should be for her health and morality. Be sure she understands how she should conduct herself around boys and men. Be sure she knows the correct information about sex, sexual reproduction, and safe sex practices. Be sure she is aware of your local age of consent laws and what the consequences are. Encourage her to seek out the company of respectable boys and men (I say men for when she gets older). Encourage her to respect sex and to practice it within a monogamous, loving, and committed relastionship.

Teach her what you know, have patience, and keep yourself open to her. She may not consider your words and wisdom to be of any worth to her now, but she will one day when she realizes you were right. Above all, love her.

Answer 4

Don't worry about the past. Educate her on birth control, AIDS and STD's instead. You're not giving her permission by doing this (in fact you might even scare her out of going for it if she hasn't yet).

As you say, her word isn't worth much, so there's no way you could ever know what she is doing. If I had a daughter like that, my first concern would be to protect her.

Answer 5

Sounds like you have not disciplined her in a way that she heeded (not something you should be too hard on yourself about, it's pretty understandable that adolescents often don't pay attention to parents, but now's the time to make a change before it is too late and she's pregnant or sick). You should be the parent, and she is the child until she is 18 and ready to go out on her own. Set some rules, and enforce them (my advice--order Jim Fay's parenting tapes, they are awesome and so helpful in turning a kid's attitude around). Asking her won't do much, although you could discuss this with her pediatrician who might be able to help in some areas!

Answer 6

okay, well first, you NEVER wanna ask friends, because they'll NEVER tell you, and thats just like prying, and definately wrong. One day, just go for a drive and start talking and be like "i know you're getting older, i just want to make sure you're safe, in all ways" and then just slip it into the conversation. it'll work, and if she gets too defensive, the answeres obvious. or if she doesnt say no, at all. but remember .. she's 14! what do you excpect. ofcourse shes going to flirt and hang out with guys. your daughter and i are the same age, lemme tell you it happens. just dont smother her to get your answers, because then you'll rarely be told anything. good luck with that.

Answer 7

why don't you ask her and if she doesn't want to talk about it...still talk to her about what sex does to you and what i could do to your future explain STD's and what would happen if she got one if your that worried also maybe go to the Dr. and talk about birth control also let her know she doesn't want the reputation of being a slut or being easy....just cuz shes a flirt doesn't mean shes out having sex maybe you need to keep a better eye on your daughter also

Answer 8

Ask her, but 14 is way too young.

Answer 9

In the good old days, you could summon the family doctor who would come to your house, force your daughter's legs apart and shove ice cold stainless steel instruments into her vagina so he could look inside and see if her hymen was still intact, and then announce the results to anyone who happened to be in the living room (see the movie "A Summer Place"). Now days, you just have to trust her to tell you. Or put hidden cameras in her bedroom.

Answer 10

hmmmmmnn.
theirs really no way unless you witness it,i would take her to the gynocologist if you think she is because the doctor can make sure shes safe and healthy!!! good luckk ♥