And when you realize it, how do you tell your partner? Consider being married 5 years, with two kids.
2007-09-25 07:56:58 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me add a few things. We've been to 3 different marriage counselors already. I left him back in April but had to come back home due to a very bad car accident. My kids are 2 and 5.
2007-09-25 08:03:38 · update #1
FYI: "Russian Woman and American Women are Feminists" are probably the same guy, and he is a total jerk off. Read this:
From: Russian woman
Subject: Re: u sure u saying the truth?
Message: EXACTLY! NO WI SEE HOW I MADE YOU MAD, BECAUSE U WAS LYING THERE, U R NOT SLIM, U R NOT RUSSIAN, U R AMERICAN WHORE, WHO IS FAT, WHO MADE KIDS BEFORE MARRIAGE AND THEN LOOK FOR SPONSORS EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT. :)
I HAVE MANY AMERICAN GUYS FRIENDS AND WHEN WE GO OUT THEY ALWAYS SAY MEN ABOUT HOW CHEAP AMERICAN WOMEN ARE, AND HOW MUCH THEY LOVE TO GO TO RUSSIAN EVERY SUMMER. THEY HATE YOU AMERICAN WOMEN. :))) THEY SAY U R FAT AND FEMINISTS.
2007-09-25 08:45:05 · update #2
when you know that if you left tomorrow you wouldn't miss them.
your partner can probably sense your distance and so can your kids if they are older than preschoolers.
don't drag things out unneccesarily but if you think there is a chance to rekindle the relationship try couple's counseling before you file for divorce or separation. if that doesn't work. move on.
2007-09-25 07:59:01 · answer #1 · answered by what's the point 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Love is more than a feeling, especially if you've been with a person for as long as you've been with your husband. Love takes a lot of work, give and take from both parties involved. Have you considered that you guys might just be in a 'rut' of sorts? Relationships can get stale with the stress of life and kids but it doesn't mean things are doomed. If you have the time and some extra cash I would definitely suggest that you spend some time alone with your husband away from your normal atmosphere, drop the kiddies off with grandma and spend a weekend somewhere nice and relaxing. TALK things through, in most long term relationships communication tends to break down because everyone is busy with full schedules. Does your husband know how you feel or does he think that you’re both going through the motions of everyday life just fine? No offense, but men aren't the smartest or most intuitive of creatures when it comes to people's feelings. It’s really important that you tell your husband exactly what’s on your mind without just dropping vague hints. Honestly, he might not even have a clue as to what is going on with you two and might think things are just fine, as I mentioned before. Please give your relationship the time and effort that it rightly deserves before just moving on. Marriage is a tough commitment but it is the most important one there is. Consider counseling, it’s a cheesy suggestion but it has truly helped a lot of couples get through rough times.
2007-09-25 08:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by taylrrslullabye 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! 5 years that's some time and two kids...?
Well ok this question is tough but I think I can handle it.
You feel that you are no longer in love or is there a third party because if it's someone that you 've been messing around with don't be so hasty in throwing it all away just yet.
I would appreciate some more information about the situation, and be specific so I can help you out...
2007-09-25 08:03:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have to ask, then you already fell out of love.
if you and your partner already been through counseling and a separation, then the only thing you have to consider truely, is how to handle this with the children.
i know a couple who is divorced, but lived in the same house, raising their kids together, they just had seperate bedrooms. when the kids were old enough to understand, they explained to the kids that they were more important than anything else.
2007-09-25 08:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Based on what you're telling us ...whether you feel like you're in love or not in love, feelings(emotions) it's not something you can go by when it comes to our committment in marriage. Being what we call "in love" is an emotion. Remember the committment you made to him when you got married? for better or worse... If you're not getting the affection you need from your husband, tell him what needs he's not meeting(as well as the needs he is meeting) and then show him (or coach him) on how to meet your needs...But it's not about you. You must be willing to meet his needs as well. Have you asked yourself if you're being selfish and prideful? If you really want your marriage to be saved, pray and seek God. Pray for your husband, pray for yourself that when you are tempted by other men that you will stand strong and flee from that temptation and give your husband the attention he needs instead of giving it to another man. If your husband begin meeting those needs, then your emotions will change and you will be "in love" with him again. Marriage is more than an in love feeling....
2007-09-25 08:33:13 · answer #5 · answered by unknown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you fantasize about being on your own with nobody to answer to or fantasize about someone else, then that's a pretty good indication you are no longer in love. You just tell him...it's better to be upfront and open about the whole thing....lot less time for him to get over you, rather than guessing whats wrong with you. Don't stay together for the kids sake, for god's sakes. they can read parents like a book. They don't need to see the loveless or argumentative relationship going on in the first place.
2007-09-25 08:07:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Especially with two children involved, you wait until you're sure. If you're asking how do you know, you're not sure yet. Wait, the answers will become more clear with time, either for or against the relationship. Just give it time. You will be working with your partner as parents until your children are 18 anyway, so what's the rush? Whatever you do, remember that he is your children's father, and treat him with dignity and respect for your children's sake as well as for yours and his sake. Children learn what they live, and will long remember.
2007-09-25 08:23:40 · answer #7 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, then you most likely aren't....that said, in your case, unless he is cheating or you are being abused, you should work to keep the family together. I know you may think that the grass is greener on the other side, but it rarely is. Not to mention what it would do to your kids.
2007-09-25 08:01:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because you're not in love, does that mean you hate him/dislike him?
You have 2 kids, woman.... you made a commitment.... you can't throw it all away because you're "not in love" any more. Love is not the point - being able to get along with each other and work as a team is all you need.
2007-09-25 08:02:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
i knew after we had tried and tried to work things out and nothing was ever changing...i came home one day and my car was reposessed and that same afternoon the phone company disconnected my phone...i packed mine and my kids things and left..i didnt know where i was going but i left anyway..i went to my parents and didnt look back..that was 7 yrs ago..i am now remarried to the best guy in the world!!! we have been married for 2 months
2007-09-25 08:05:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋