Married and freedom is gone?

Question

I am 19 and after college I plan to just get an apartment and live in that the rest of my life. I dont want a house of my own some day, I would rather just live in an apartment or condo something like that my whole life. First it would be alot cheaper and second dont have to worry about the many hassles that comes with a house. I mean it would be hard to have a family in an apartment, but I am not getting married and not having any kids, so ya thats not a problem for me(no I will never accidentally have kids either cuz I dont have sex, never have never will). So size is perfect for me too I dont think its weird but know people who think its weird.
me I dont care about having a huge house and all that bullshit. I would be just fine in a small apartment
I like to be free and marriage and kids takes your freedom from you so screw that I am a very adventurous person and dont let anything or anyone hold me done. I do what ever the hell I want when ever I want.

Alright so for those of you that are married why?????? I dont get it, do you do it cuz you actually love that person or you think society wants you to do this. Me I only love myself and I am my own person, I dont care what society wants me to do. I dont conform to nothing. Or is it that you get lonely and need someone. Maybe all of these things which dont pertain to me so thats probably why I dont get it.. I love my freedom and will never give it up. I am an island and need no one and dont get lonely

I will never change my mind on this topic. Yes people change and so do I, but I will never want to be married or have kids ever. So for everyone who thinks its just a phase and you were like me at my age, nope thats not it its who I am and this decision is locked in so enough of that.

ALRIGHT ya so answer the question in the first details, nobody answered the question so just enough about me that was only so you wouldn't stray away from the question and try to change me and you did it anyways

haha didnt change me no one can but you did stray away from the question

Answer 1

Wow. Yeah, I see myself, too. So stop saying that the decision is locked in. I remember being absolutely, COMPLETELY sure that I would never marry. Trust me, you are sure NOW. Wait a few years, then come back here and let us all say "I told you so". Take your time; we'll be here.

Answer 2

You are young yet and could change your mind in the future. When I was your age, I thought the same way : No marriage, no kids, and a nice apartment in the city. When I met my fiance, my priorities changed and now I am looking at planning a wedding (although having kids is still up for debate) My point is, we walk into the world as young adults thinking we have what we want cemented in our heads and then circumstances change...life changes...and our thoughts and feelings change with it. Maybe you will live alone and unmarried in your apartment forever, quite happily. But, maybe, just maybe, some breeze will blow through and change your position on things. Leave your mind and heart open to all possibilities.


EDIT: To answer your "question", I am getting married because I choose to. I love my fiance, and we are a great team. Neither of us want anyone else, so it makes sense to us to celebrate our commitment to each other by having a wedding. Society, if anything, preaches against marriage considering the divorce rates. Society doesn't have to mold you...and it hasn't molded me. It is rude of you to assume people marry out of societal pressure. I work in an office, wear a suit every day, have 10 tattoos, 12 piercings, and go home to my fiance and three pit bulls every night. I am an Athiest, pro-choice, anti-fur...has society molded me? Enjoy your 'adventurous' life, but remember, it can be fun sharing those adventures with people you care for. Oh, I forgot, you only care for yourself right?

Answer 3

I don't believe that if your married, your freedom is gone. But if thats how you feel, go ahead and live your life the way you want it! Who is going to get on your case about it accept maybe your Mom who wants grandchildren. Some people think very differently about marrying the woman they love. They believe that being married is what gives them freedom. Some people like to have someone they can grow old with and do stuff with. Someone they can talk to and laugh with. You certainly don't change who you are and you still do what you want, but you have to think of how it's going to affect your children and wife. When you have a family, they are a part of you. Some see it as a gift, others a burden. Obviously you are a selfish person, good for you, don't be so concerned about other people having a problem with how you live.

Answer 4

No one says that you have to get married. Marriage isn't some jail though, and it all depends on who you pick for your spouse. Marriage without kids can be like having a best friend, with benefits, that will go and do stuff with you all the time.

Usually, when people talk about lack of freedom and marriage, it's about having sex with others, which you say you never had, and never will, so I really don't get your point on marriage restricting your freedom.

Finally, I think you must have had some pretty screwed up examples of marriage in your life. Once you get your first piece, your tune may change.

Answer 5

I married for love and companionship. It's cool that you've figured out it's not your cup of tea - knowing yourself is a good thing.
I'm happy with my decision, but you're right that some of my freedom is gone. It was a trade off I was willing to make.
If I didn't have a family and money wasn't an issue, I'd choose to live in a hotel :)
Happy Life!

Answer 6

This is not the first time you have posted this diatribe.

My question remains, why do you post a message on marriage and divorce telling us all about your anti marriage attitude.
You seem to have it figured out, what do you want from us?

It would be a total waste of time for anyone to try to change your mind, and as you are a little young you might not comprehend more adult concepts.

Carry on. If this works for you go with it. We will all be better off if you do not reproduce.

Answer 7

I guess if thats what makes you happy. I got married because I love my husband and enjoy his company. He is my best friend. I also have children. None of that keeps me from having what I want or need. My family does not hold me down in career or social life. I feel its all a blessing and suits me. You are blessed to be happy by yourself and thats really cool. There aren't alot of people who are content with that. Alot of people feel like like they HAVE to fit society's mold.

You being alone makes you REALLY, really happy. Well having my family makes me REALLY, really happy. I can't ever imagine my life without them. I have always wanted that. I came from a beautiful family and decided at a very early age that one day I would have my own. Freedom? Its still there. I just can't put myself first. I have to have my priorites straight now. It sounds funny to you I know. Its just a different kind of freedom. Its all in what you get used to. I just want to know what perked your interest about this subject that you feel so strongly about. Married people with children are capable of being happy. You sound selfish. There is nothing wrong with that if thats how you want your life. Married life or single life, neither one can be said to be for everybody.

Answer 8

You sound young...well I am married and I married because I loved my husband and then we had children because it happened. I love my girls...they are the best thing that has happened to me. I have two girls but no more for me...my brother is 25 and he doesnt want to get married either...he is happy being single but he is also in the military too and he says alot of guys cheat on their wifes and he cant stand it. He says he would rather be single and do whatever he wants right now while he is young then to be deployed and be missing that person and his child...he wants to be in his child life..

Answer 9

I completely understand what you are talking about. You have the freedom to choose the kind of life you want to lead. That is a prerogative that can not be taken away from you. The same is true with those people who chose to get married and have children.

Answer 10

Um..... O.K. Good for you.

Why do you seem so upset at thos of us who choose to marry? We're not telling you you HAVE to, so I think its a little bit of intolerance for you to feel the NEED to challenge me as to WHY I chose to marry.

I need not justify myself to you. I married becuase I love my spouse and I LIKE having a family life. Yes - there are many sacrifices that come with it, but also many rewards that someone with your self-centeredness will likely never understand.

So its best for you to stay single - good for you. Hope you're happy in your life choices.

One word of advice however, I would recommend BUYING a condo instead of just renting. Yes rent is cheaper, but you gain NO equity and there is NO tax write off like w/ a mortgage. Might not matter to you yet, but once you graduate and get a "real job", you'll be looking for ways to keep as much of your paycheck for yourself and keep Uncle Sam's cut to minimum.

Best of luck to you...