Should my fiance be made to support his ex-wife with child support since she refuses to work?

Question

His ex refuses to work, though she is perfectly capable, and lives off her children's benefits instead of getting her own job and supporting those children. I think child support should be used only for the kids and not for her own living expenses and travel - I feel the courts should make her get a job in order to collect child support. she should have to support her own children, too.

Let me add - 3 children - all in school - he gave her the house after she cheated on him and kicked him out. Yes, I agree that he needs to pay for his children, whom he sees every weekend and tries to be very involved with. The children are not fed properly by her, have no proper clothing even though we gave them a lot of clothes for them. She used to work and is still capable and would be provided daycare through the state for her children - one of them is 17 and the other 2 are in grade school/middle school

Answer 1

Some women are just plain lazy and what an easy life. The same situation is happening to my brother and his ex. He gets the girls every weekend, he pays his child support and still buys the girls what they need when the ex tells him they need this or that.
But his ex rather live off the government and not work. Have his child support taken and get on assistance.
I dunno some women are just plain GHETTO!

Answer 2

I think a lot depends on what the situation was before they were divorced. If they made the choice when they were married that it would be best for the children to have her at home while they are young, then he has nothing to complain about. Just because he now doesn't live with them if that was the decision then I see no reason it should change. Just because he's getting married again doesn't mean he shouldn't continue to pay for his children in the life style they are accustomed to.

Keep in mind you didn't give all the details here: A lot of men want their wives to quit their jobs to raise the kids, then suddenly decide they don't like the responsibility and leave, and suddenly she's supposed to try to pick up her career where it left off with kids to raise. I hardly consider that fair either.

And sorry to say, but what you feel about it is pretty much irrelevant except as to whether you want to be with this man or not. None of this has anything to do with you, it was before you were involved with him.

Answer 3

A couple of issues are here.
1. How many children? - Are they school age?
2. How much would child care be if she did go to work.
3. Can she find a job that would cover child care and produce a larger income to cover the added costs of working and raising children?
4. Is it truly a monitary benefit to have that Mom work verses having the Mom raise the children?
5. Are you upset because if you marry this man you too will be responsible for these children and feel jealous about the first wife?
Remember you aren't just marrying a man you are marrying a man, his children,his ex-wife, his family, his baggage, and then you have find your place in all of that.

Good luck and I wish you the best but remember - We are all perfect parents until we have children.

Answer 4

Paying child support has nothing to do with whether the custodial parent works or not. He isn't supporting HER, he's supporting his kids.

If he feels she is not behaving properly as a parent he can sue for joint or full custody. If he gets joint custody, then he doesn't have to pay her support, but he DOES have to provide them a home at least 50% of the time. He will also still be liable for a proportionate amount of medical bills, school fees, etc. Since she's not working, his proportion will be 100%.

If he wants full custody then he'll have to provide for all the children's needs, with the ex providing support based on her salary. Since she's not working, that won't be much.

Answer 5

Unfortunately she can use that child support money for what ever she needs. Whether it be for her self or the children. The one thing you should be concerd here is once you and your fiance get married you as well are responsible for the child support. Once you say, "I Do!!!" You are also accepting the responsibility of helping raise his children. Financilly!! So if he should get hurt, or decide that he no longer wants to work then you have to become responsible for those payments. So if you are not happy with the fact of his ex-wife not working now. Then you really won't be so thrilled having to make those payments. You might just want to think of the future and how this is going to affect you as well. Remember you aren't just marrying him you are marrying the family!! Good Luck!!

Answer 6

hi i pay child support and I can tell you a few things. TO the courts taking care of the child is a job. As far as buying stuff for herself. If she buys a car for herself with the money the child is benefiting from it too. If she buys clothes for herself it can benefit the child cause you need decent clothes to look for a job. I am sure you can get my point. Its very very hard to prove a mother or father is miss using the money. Plus if you get the child you are still spending money so threes no way around that. If the child seems to not get lets say good clothes and you think she is spending on something else. Her point could be shes not getting enough. Its very very complex.

Answer 7

she is providing full physical care for the children. especially if she was a stay at home mom before the divorce, she should be able to continue to stay at home. the courts deemed him capable of providing for them financially so she can stay at home for the children. the only reason it matters to you, is because it's your fiance. if it was someone you didn't know, you could care less. the only reason you feel you have an opinion, it because you take the amount of his child support personally. if you took pride in being there 100 percent for your children, you would want to stay at home with them as well. if she can survive on the child support alone, and still manage to live comfortably, wow....because that is almost impossible these days. there is no way i'd be able to live on my own with 2 children on child support alone.

Answer 8

Well this is a tricky situation, funds can co-mingle, so long as she is providing a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, clothes on their backs......the kids are considered supported. If she needs those funds marked as "child support" to maintain a house hold....then so be it, there's not a whole lot that you can do about it. Although in some states, the courts look at it........that both parents are responsible for support, so her income would be considered when calculating what your contribution should be.....and if she's not working then the court could make her get a job........good luck

Answer 9

He has to pay child support even if the mom isn't working. Of course his child support obligations can be lowered due to that, but they usually base it on whatever job u have and if your not working him or his ex wife then MINIMUM wage or what they ARE capable of making.

She DOESNT have to get a job but

Since she doesn't work and is living off benefits you could make a case that say's she isn't providing for them.

Answer 10

yor fiance should give his kid child support, it'll help the kid's not her and it's usually not enough for either of them to live on, so she will have to work, unless she chooses to live in poverty. He's only paying for his responsibility for bringing those kid into the world, and rightfully he should want to pay. None of this money actually goes to her, and later if she abuses that its easy enough to tell. By rights child support will cover 2/3 of food, utillities, rent. But $200 per child is whats usually demanded. But if your fiance makes bigger bucks than most of course it will be higher, my cousin had a great job and pay, her husband had to give 17% of his wage as child support. Even if she works he still must pay as he had a little to do with making them.

Answer 11

If only that is how it worked...

There are PLENTY of women who don't work claiming they can't because they have to watch their kids....uhhh....there are PLENTY of mothers who DO work.

The less money she makes, the more child support she'll be able to receive. And it's stupid that women are so immature and childish that they want to 'get revenge' on their exes like that. My thoughts to those women are, uhhh, ok, your relationship didn't work, big deal. It's happened to lots of people before, only they weren't all stupid enough to get knocked up.

Since she doesn't have a job, they figure HER income to be part-time minimum wage.

I wish that they would make it that whomever receives child support would HAVE to work and contribute to receive the funds....for both men AND women. There are too many dead-beat parents not taking care of their children and mooching off their child support payments for their own benefit. I feel sorry for so many of these children.