About 4 years ago, i had an affair with a married man (i was also married) i know its wrong, please don't tell me!!! Anyway, we had a year long relationship, he left his wife for me and i distanced myself from my husband. It became a very serious relationship, we both believed we were soul mates. My problem was leaving my husband, i felt bad and always thought about what others (family mostly) would think about me. My husband is a drug user, mentally and verbally abusive. We have a dauther together as well.
After a year of cheating with each other, he couldnt wait for me anymore to leave my husband. It turned out very nasty, he called my husband....... and now it's 4 years later. Every now and then we texted each other to say hello and see how each other is doing, he is dating somebody else (for the last 3yrs.) For some reason, i still have yet to get over him. I love him so much, never loved anybody this much.
What should i do????????? Is there anything i can do?
2007-09-25 05:31:28 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is kinda sad!!!
You are in an abusive relationship! You need to get counceling! For some reason you don't believe you deserve better. You can say it is because of fear of what your family may think, but the truth is your self esteem is in the toilet!!
Regardless of the affair and whether this man is still interested in being with you, you need to get out of the destructive relationship you are in!! It won't be easy - change never is - but once you realize what it is like to truly be happy you will be so glad you left. The fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, but you will be stronger in the end!
I wish you the best of luck!
2007-09-25 05:44:29 · answer #1 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, would you really want this guy after he called your husband? Don't you think he's done enough "for" (actually "to") You already? What do you think he might do in the future if your relationship didn't work out--who might he call next? Your minister, boss, etc. My choice I'd forget about him and make a new life with somebody else. You didn't say whether or not you and your husband ever divorced? I'm assuming that you did. If so, forget the ex-husband and forget the ex-boyfriend. I don't think either one of them is good for you. Grow up and move on.
2007-09-25 08:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should seek counseling. Why do you think you've put up with an abusive relationship because of what others think about you leaving? And why do you think your daughter deserves to be in a home and relationship where there is abuse?
Please stop worrying about this guy who has moved on with his life and clearly knew what he needed to do to move on (divorce his wife, put you on blast).
Its easier said than done to get over someone. But you have a beautiful daughter to focus on and a "new" direction to determine for yourself.
Be blessed!
2007-09-25 05:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by trysh_mc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband really abuses you and he uses drugs why are you not leaving him?
I would have divorced him already. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks or might say to you. There is no way that you should be in a relationship like that.
2007-09-25 05:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Evidently you didn't love him enough to deal with "what others might think" - I'm glad that he decided to move on to someone with whom he could be first and foremost in the relationship, instead of second or third behind "what my family would think".
You need to accept that either he's first in your life and you divorce your husband to be with him, or he's NOT in your life and you let him move on to someone who deserves him.
2007-09-25 05:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You hesitated on leaving and so he burned you by calling your husband. What are you? Stupid? That act alone speaks volumes of his character. I mean..we won't even discuss character of the two of you having been unfatithful to your spouses but for him to call your husband and you let this slide?
Lady...i question your intelligence. Or at least your common sense.
2007-09-25 05:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you love him that much then let him be happy with this other person...he gave you a chance and a ticket out of an abusive relationship...
good luck to you
2007-09-25 05:36:23 · answer #7 · answered by Joey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on
2007-09-25 05:48:19 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL!!!!
2007-09-25 05:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋