We ended on a bad note, I found out he was getting married and I had no idea. I knew him and I knew he was not ready for that type of commitment. It wasnt two weeks later and he was calling me again. I knew I could not see him anymore. It has been almost 3 years since hes been married and I still love this man even though I dont even talk to him. I can still feel him in my bones and I have really tried going forward but I am still stuck at square one with no progress. Now I just found out that he is in jail and I want to contact him. It has been so hard to be patient and think it out. I just want him to know that I really did love him and I still do and Im here for him. I know that this sounds open and shut but my my feelings wont go away. I need someone to give me some guidance. I cant talk to my best friend about him b/c she thinks he is such a loser for what he did to me. But my heart is real and I dont know what to do I want contact him what should I do?
2007-09-25 05:25:29 · 17 answers · asked by Mrs. 530 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He left you on a bad note, he got married and now he is in jail..Seem like to me you been keeping in touch with him after all. Hey if you like a man that's gone to mistreat you, then tell him how much you love him, if you like a loser that's in jail, then tell him how much you love him, if you want to get in between him and his wife, then tell him how much you love him, if you want to go back to the same old relationship that you both had before, then tell him you love him. What's wrong loving a man that's gone make you miserable, like he doing his wife that he cant support because he is in jail. Tell him how much you love him so he can write you from jail and say I love you too, I see you when I come home to treat you bad, like I treated you before honey. Go right ahead and tell him you love him, so you can write another question saying, my ex won't leave his wife what can I do to get him back....
2007-09-25 05:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by bert bert 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're letting yourself dwell on this, if you really wanted to move on you would. You actually have convinced yourself that you love this man above all others. He treated you badly and you need to forget him. From the way you are talking I bet you have pictures of him out in your house, pack them away, you may not be willing to get rid of them but pack them and anything that reminds you of him away. Then sit down and make some goals, meet new people, stay busy, get a hobby, anything that keeps you too busy to dwell on this man. He married another and is still married to her, that's more than he did for you. You need to mentally dump him, every time you catch yourself thinking about him, get busy, do something that will keep you thinking of other things. Even if you don't date right away, go out to coffee or meet some other men. Trust me there are plenty of them out there that will treat you better than this loser did. This isn't love it's obsession, you just aren't letting go.
To Dazi - Love the quote, and oh so true!
2007-09-25 05:44:52 · answer #2 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Never make someone a priority who makes you a option."
I've been married for 4 years and my ex is on my mind every day. But what's he to offer me? Just more heartache and a nowhere future. I deserve better than that and so do you. Now buck up, tell yourself how much you love you, and prepare to face a new day. If you make yourself be still you will FEEL that God or your higher power has someone much better coming for you. Don't block that possibility by going backward. There's a reason they were left in the past in the first place. If he was right for you, wouldn't you still be together? Good luck, I know it's hard. But so is life and you're surviving that just fine. :)
2007-09-25 05:33:58 · answer #3 · answered by dazi369 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness! Your question sounds EXACTLY like me some years ago. Look at it from this standpoint: HE chose someone else. HE made some bad decisions, and now HE is living a life that HE made, WITHOUT YOU.
Those are all things I had to come to terms with myself. Once I accepted those things, my life has been better. I was able to move on (without the counseling, prescription drugs, or anything else that only treated the symptoms, not the cause).
Once I was able to tell myself, that "I WANT BETTER", and truly believed it in my heart, it was so much easier to let go. I have been able to obtain what I really wanted in life!
It's possible, believe me!
Meditate on what you want, write it down on paper and put it in a safe place. When you write with intention & conviction, you will see that your desires WILL come to you. The universe provides what we need, all we have to do is ASK with intention!
2007-09-25 05:52:38 · answer #4 · answered by dancingmoonshadows 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So in other words, you want to throw ALL COMMON SENSE out the window, ignore the advice of your closest friends, and persue a relationship with a guy in jail that you couldn't handle a commitment with 3 years ago? I think you seriously need some help. You clearly have absolutely no self respect, self esteem, or the ability to move on with your life without professional counciling.
2007-09-25 05:29:38 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It really sounds to me like you just need some form of closure. You need for him to tell you that it is over it has been over and there is no turning back and that he is happy now. Once you hear these words from him you will no longer wonder and you will get your closure and you will be able to move on. if you don't want to contact him (which would probably be best) just know in your heart he is happy and has moved on and you should too.
2007-09-25 05:32:16 · answer #6 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you havent talk to him for 3 years...so I am gonna assume you loved the guy he was 3 years ago. People change...either for the better or worse...and do you really want to put up with what he put you threw?? I say hold how you feel inside...he might be worse then when he was with you. As for your best friend...she cares about you and only wants to see you with the best...I would go on to eharmony.com and I bet in a year you wont even remember this guys name.
2007-09-25 05:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not contact him....he is married to another. Your life with him is history. You do need to forget him and move on with your life. You have to! No sense wasting your time on a man that hurt you and is now married to someone else.
2007-09-25 05:30:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know you are in a very difficult situation at this very moment.
let me ask you this: have you been goin' out after your breakup with him? did you give yourself a chance to meet new people instead of thinking about your ex?
it's okay to get in touch with him but don't be deceived with what you feel for him. he was able to hurt you before and that is possible to happen again, if you let it so.
i know you are just confused at this very moment and you haven't moved on yet that's why you said that you are still in live with him. please assess yourself properly and weigh what best options it will give you.
2007-09-25 05:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by mcbeth007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the feeling has to be mutual. it's unfair if you are the only one feeling what you're feeling right now. he has his life now, i know it's hard, and painful, but sometimes life is cruel. there are some things we can't have. try to move on. nobody else can help you except yourself. condition your mind, move on. goodluck
2007-09-25 05:32:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋