See, ever since I can rememeber I knew there was something different about me. In elementary, I kissed a girl and I also longed to kiss a girl. In middle school, I just pretended to like boys to fit in even tho I never fit in but I didnt really want a boyfriend but never really thought abt the idea of lesbainism. I am 19 yrs old now. Should I know right about now?
In 8th grade is when I start to question my sexuality. I had always see myself with a girl and not really with a boy. Than 9th grade, I just pretended to like a boy cuz I want to be normal. My dad is very homophobic and thinks that its immoral cuz we live in a christian home. But I dont think homosexuality is wrong, and I might be a lesbian.
How do I figure this out and how do I meet other lesbains or experimenters in my area locally? Because I never get out the house and I never do anything. What do I say to ppl who ask me do I like men/boys cuz I never knw what to say.
2007-09-25 04:53:59 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
As chef said "children there's a right time and place for that COLLEGE"
2007-09-25 04:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by frank 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think maybe you should relax a bit and not focus so much on having to have the answer right now. If you don't have an interest in boys, then don't go out with them, as you have to make yourself happy and not what others think. Besides, if you don't date a guy, people won't suspect anything, as there are plenty of people who are not interested in someone all the time.
I'm not sure how you can find out about other lesbians. I wonder why people would ask you if you are interested in men.boys. You could answer " at this moment I am not interested in a specific one". The fact that you may never be, does not need to be addressed.
Later when you are older you can try gay places, or check online if there are some activities for single gays.
2007-09-25 05:01:57 · answer #2 · answered by jelly tots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a pretty healthy grip on this, especially considering the negative attitute in your home. Are you still living at home? Unless you can change your parent's attitude, I think you should save the experimenting for once you are on your own. Some parents really come around, and some disown their gay children. There is an organization called PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) that is a kind of support group for parents who are struggling to accept their child's homosexuality. Check out their website. They usually have local chapters. You can also stop by a bookstore that caters to the gay crowd. The staff there can direct to local meetings, discussions, book groups, all kinds of resources you didn't know existed in your community. Of course, you don't even know if you are gay. I struggled with this myself, and have decided that I am bi with a preference for men. I'm not one to give advice on where to find likeminded gals, as I haven't really figured this out for myself. I have met women through friends mostly. It's too bad you can't sort through your feelings with your folks, but what about a good friend or two? Can you confide in anyone? As far as people asking you if you like men? What the hell kind of question is that to ask a person? That is NOBODY'S business, but yours! Tell people to F%#$ off! Sorry I don't have anything more insightful to say. If you need a non-biased party to talk to, feel free to email me.
2007-09-25 05:22:51 · answer #3 · answered by kahiemstra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you if you what to play the game or not. You sure do sound like you like Lady's better then men. It is a tuft thing to come out of the closet. Look on the web for support groups that can help you. I know there are a lot of books out to. Just remember that you are not the only out here. Mom's and Dad's have a hard time with this because they what grandchildren and life to be perfect for there children. you may have a few hard roads to take. Just becareful. So many in your shoes do it the wrong way. Take care.
2007-09-25 05:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by tadm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 19 I was calling myself bi. By the time I was 20 I knew I was not attracted to men at all and started calling myself a gay (I am a woman, but back then we were all just big ol' gays).
Like you, I went through the motions of liking boys, and even had one boyfriend that I look back fondly upon.
I've now been with the same woman for 25 years.
All that said, I don't think you need to KNOW the answer on any time line. Follow your heart. Be careful. You don't have to sleep with anyone to find out, but you can. Don't have sex with anyone with "finding out" as your motivator, that would be using them.
I totally agree with what others have said about going to a LGBT center in your area, or check out the queer forum on Craigslist.org for the town closet to you and ask them there, you need to do this locally.
Consider going to college! Check out if there are community colleges in your area, they have gay clubs often, plus it will get you out of the house and be good for you in the long run.
2007-09-25 05:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by jfer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
⥠If you have no sexual attraction to males then you are most likely a lesbian. Don't rush to put a label on yourself just yet. Experiment with your sexuality and have fun with it. Use myspace to meet some girls in your local area that are willing to help you with your experimen. As for you living in a Christian household... well you certaintly CAN be gay and christian. You've had these feelings your whole life, and its time to experiment and see if this is what you want. Once you know for absolute certain you should come out of the closet. Good Luck hun!
2007-09-25 05:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in your telephone book for a local gay/lesbian community center. Most cities have them. Call them up and make an appointment for counseling, or take down their address and just drop in for a visit. Explain your situation and I'm sure there will be professionals there who will be able to help you sort through your situation. Good luck!
2007-09-25 04:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First problem is you have to get out of the house and do things!!. Take classes, join groups, take up hobbies, volunteer. Life is not going to knock on your door. Your sexual orientation has nothing to do with that.
If you need counciling to talk to your family about your feelings, by all means get some. There are many groups that can help you deal with this.
http://www.google.com/Top/Society/Gay,_Lesbian,_and_Bisexual/Lesbian/Support_Groups/
But please don't hide away in your room. It's so unhealthy.
2007-09-25 05:03:13 · answer #8 · answered by PROBLEM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be too quick to assume any label. It's better to just be aware of your preferences, then wait for that special someone who "rocks your world". I'm not so sure that experimentation is good either, since you waste valuable emotional feelings on people who will mean nothing to you in a short time. Save your best for the Best ;)
Know that God designed you to be the person you are.
2007-09-25 05:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by redmane_at_stargazer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As far as if you're a lesbian...just follow your heart. They say love has no color, but it also has no gender.
As for meeting ppl, since you don't go out why not try an internet chat line first, or a telephone party line. Just be careful if you do!
Good luck!
2007-09-25 05:04:31 · answer #10 · answered by Huera 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont worry about what to say at this point . head for a lesbian bar in a large town , and see if theres anyone there you could go for . dont go out w someone just to do it . wait for someone you really feel is attractive . and see if its the kind of thing you like .
2007-09-25 15:29:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋