Well basically I suspect my best friend (who is female) to be a lesbian. I have no problem with it! At all. I hate homophobia, however I do not know if she is gay. She hasn't had a boyfriend but has kissed lads. When she was drunk once she tried to kiss me and in the morning found it funny and blamed it on her being wrecked. She also asked a question on here saying I don't know what to do, whenever I see my best friend I want to kiss her. She claimed this was a joke.
How do I broach the subject of her sexuality? Or not say anything at all. I don't mind if she is gay and will not treat her differently.
2007-09-25 04:48:23 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Thanks for you comments by the way :)
i forgot to say we have a mutual friend who is gay and he is a lad. He infact came out to me because he knew I'd be cool with it and I'd of thought this would make it easier for her but perhaps she thinks I'd be different as she is the same sex as me
2007-09-25 05:24:37 · update #1
ok, i worded it wrong
i don't 'need' to know
i just thought if it would help her to talk to me and whether I should start the conversation to let her know I am here for her
that's all
sorry if i offended anyone
i dont need to know at all
just want her to know she has someone to talk to and i could be that person as I helped my lad mate realise who he was and to be proud not ashamed
2007-09-25 06:28:37 · update #2
Well, quite honestly I think you should leave it alone. If she wants to talk to you then let her start it. Leave it up to her. If you push this it may ruin your friendship.
2007-09-25 06:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by wise old owl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is it's ok everyone telling you just ask her, are you gay? but i think you kinda already know the answer.
I think the reason you dont want to come right out and ask her is that you think that she might start all this, yes i am gay and i'm also deeply in love with you talk.
The up shot is you dont want to lose her as a mate and you dont want to hurt her so say that your so flattered, and have a bit of a joke that you wish you where gay sort of thing, but constantly reassuring her that she's done the right thing in telling you this stuff and that in no way are you going to let this affect your friendship. A few tears and hugs later i bet you two will be cushday!. Good luck with it hun... Alley.x.
2007-09-26 21:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can start by bringing the subject of homosexuality up casually, without labelling yourself as such. Try saying something like "I have this friend on the internet who I chat with all the time. She's a lesbian. I'm not a lesbian, but I think it's really cool that people can be who they really are without being discriminated against. I'm all for gay rights." In other words, let her know that being gay makes no difference to you... while letting her know that you aren't gay yourself. Maybe she'll feel comfortable enough to confide in you at that point.
2007-09-25 11:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just relax sweet heart, she maybe gay or she maybe bisexual. You could ask her what guys you all know that she likes. If she says none, then ask her well which girls do you like? Do it in a casual friendly way but not a joking kind of way. Just make sure she knows you care about her very much and want her to be who she really is around you and not to feel like she has to hide anything from you. She may find you attractive, but that does not mean you all can not be friends or still hang out. Just tell her how much you do care for her and respect her. Good luck. =)
2007-09-26 01:07:42 · answer #4 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key to everything. If she is your best friend there shouldn't be much problems with it but she might not want to open herself because maybe she is confused and not sure about her sexuality. More likely if you ask do it casually but don't be surprised if you get an immediate NO and she turns defencive. She might not want to tell you right away even if you say you are totally cool with it. My best friend (male) took ages to tell me about his sexual orientation and I've been always totally cool with diversity and he knew it because I'm bisexual and open about it. On the other hand why are you so worried if she is gay or not. Does it really matter? Maybe she is just curious and wants to experiment.
2007-09-25 12:40:08 · answer #5 · answered by petit chat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her & tell her you are fine with it if she is - from what you've said it does seem quite likely that she is gay. It also sounds as though she has got a bit of a crush on you though, so unless you are interested in her I'd make it quite clear that you just like her as a friend - otherwise it will lead to a lot of heartache on her side (previous experience!). Good luck.
2007-09-26 06:31:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a bit tricky ,I think from what your saying she might Fancie you, but if you don`t lean our way then you really should, if you are friends save the relationship before it get`s out of hand, get a nice bottle of wine, and not just for the two of you, but three, your gay male friend if he agrees he can act as a sort of ice breaker and get the subject going then you can ,with his help clear up any misunderstandings with a laugh and move on with your friendships. good luck
Regards
Ryan Diorx
2007-09-25 13:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are OK with it then ask her, you have nothing to lose, and if she is gay then nothing changes, you remain friends, it's only if she comes on to you that you might have a problem. Then you would just be kind and say to her that you aren't that way and leave it at that.
2007-09-25 11:56:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to? Is it because of how you felt when she tried to kiss you? Uncomfortable? Like kissing her? You've already stated that you don't care if she is gay, and won't treat her any differently. I'd leave it alone...
2007-09-25 11:56:43 · answer #9 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have exactly the same problem! but she hasnt tried to kiss me. i think i what will do is just keep quiet about it all untill she decides when or if she wants to tell you and if she trys anything else on you just say 'sorry, i dont like you in that way, but i dont have a problem with you being like that" or something that way she will get the message but hopefully feel confident that you are fine with her being a lesbien. hope that helped :)
2007-09-25 11:55:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just say, "are you gay? It's totally cool with me if you are".
Just know that if she comes out she might also have to confess her attraction to you. She might be not telling you because she knows you'll reject these feelings. How will you react if she confesses this to you?
If you tell her you're cool with it, you need to REALLY be or you will lose (and hurt) a friend.
2007-09-25 11:53:30 · answer #11 · answered by jfer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋