two of them! I will not get my party because they are using the money for fishing! Is this fair or am I wrong? I never had a birthday party in the 12 year's we have been together! I am upset! Do I have a right to be? He will be reading this! So please specify who is wrong and who is right? And why?
2007-09-25 04:11:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
of course you are right!!
what's the matter with the guy? how can be so egoistic, he can go to his fishing trip any other time.
If he's not into the party, well you should have a special trip with him. in our western culture, special birthdays are 18, 21, 30, 40, 50..... so I do think you should do something special together.
And if he still insists in going with his Dad, well grab you best friend and take a trip to Vegas or NY, or any place that seems cool.
HUSBAND READING:
don't mess up, it is your wife you're disrecpecting and neglecting. and why are you using the money destined for the party?? If your Dad is booking well he should pay the bills at least.
very wrong you are !!!!
2007-09-25 04:21:22 · answer #1 · answered by GreenEyes 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think you should have a 30th birthday party!!! Why not have a GIRLS ONLY SLUMBER PARTY at your house while he's gone fishing?? Tell him he can have a certain amount of money for his fishing trip and you are taking a certain amount for your GIRLS ONLY PARTY!!!!!!!!! Have all your girl friends over, drink, talk, watch movies, eat things you normally wouldn't eat daily (like chocolate and other things that are good for us). Have fun, just the girls. That's what my friend did for her 30th and they had a BLAST (she's a new friend so I wasn't there, but I've heard all about it). Its actually the type of party I want for my 30th and I haven't had a birthday party since I was like 8 or 9 yrs old. I'm not sure either of you is right or wrong, but telling you that he's going to throw you a party and then not doing it is wrong. If you don't want to have the girls only party then he should ask his father if they could do the fishing trip in the spring when he has time to save up the money since he has already promised you that he would throw you a birthday party. Good luck!!! Hope this helped.
2007-09-25 04:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by Drea Z 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you were promised a party, then you have been let down. all of those accusing you of being a brat seem to be missing that point (just substitute party for 'soire' or prefix party with dinner- & the childish scenario crumbles). Do they think it's OK to be _deliberately_ let down - if so, that speaks more about their failings than yours. A party is an opportunity for friends and family to gather and celebrate you friendship & love. If he offered & knew you'd be disappointed, it's his behaviour that's selfish, not yours.
Birthdays are also opportunities to demonstrate just how much you care for someone, and this behaviour demonstrates a lack of respect. Turning 30 is a milestone, so a party is not an excessive desire - it doesn't have to be anything too extravagant to really mean something. He should want to go out of his way to make an effort on this special day (if you show him the same respect, that is) - making an effort keeps relationships going. That's why I can understand why you wanted him to sort it for you. It's not audacious to expect a special effort every /now and again/, if you're willing to do the same.
Perhaps you could spend time with family for the special day instead, then subsequent weekends spend quality time with each friend, doing something special. That way you'll perhaps have several lasting memories, rather than just one.
Anyway, talk to him calmly, and explain why you're so upset - maybe it'll help your relationship grow ultimately?!
Hope you have a really happy time whatever.
2007-09-28 07:54:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. Here is the reason why. Your birthday only comes once a year. Your husband can plan a boat trip for another time after he throws you a party. Spending the money on a boat trip is being selfish. He needs to think of you first. Your his wife. You deserve your party. Happy Birthday. Good luck hope you get your party.
2007-09-25 04:17:11 · answer #4 · answered by Laughing with you not at you 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one is right or wrong. You had the audacity to expect something, he had the audacity to take a trip for your 30th birthday. The fact is, you're not 12 anymore. Birthday parties are all well and great when you're a kid but expecting hoopla as an adult past 21 is nonsense.
If you want a party that badly then pay for your own. No one; not even your husband, is obligated to throw you a party just because you demand it and/or expect it. You're 30. Please act your age and not 12.
EDIT:
Why am I not surprised that those giving SOUND advice are given thumbs down but the ones looking to BLAME, BLAME, BLAME your husband are all thumbs up. I swear, you people have your priorities all wrong.
It's fine for her to be upset but for crap's sake, the woman is 30! So her hubby was a little bit of a clod, get over it.
My fiance isn't always on top of celebrations but he makes up for it in his own way. This woman would be in a better position if she'd channel her energy into more positive thinking than making her husband look like he's a dog. Men are NOT the problem. Selfish women demanding too much are.
2007-09-25 04:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I would be a bit hurt by this turn of events, your husband is coming across as quite selfish, but I bet there are things you are not telling that might even the scale a bit. (I hope anyway). If your husband made you feel important and put your needs and desires ahead of his own most of the time, it would be gracious of you to give him a break on this whole trip with Dad scenario. If this is the case, you are just acting like a spoiled brat. IF NOT, and he usually does not make you feel important and special, and this party was going to be his way of making that up to you, then he obviously is more concerned with himself. Unless he hardly EVER gets to do anything with his Dad, although he should at least compromise....there's no way to do a scaled down version of the party?????
2007-09-25 06:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there is no wrong or right person in this scenario...the party was already planned so he should have told his father that they need to take the trip next weekend... but at the same time...does he get to do fishing trips with his dad very often?
i hate to say this but ...you are being a little selfish...but again...you already had this planned so i would be upset too...is there any type of compromise the two of you can come to?
good luck
2007-09-25 04:17:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mindy S 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Uh Dude, no longer ok. She married you. How could she react in case you went out with the adult males and variety of had intercourse with yet another women? do no longer think of there is a good style of have confidence that it may no longer or does no longer ensue returned given the prospect. then you definitely've the completed STD ingredient to contemplate. shop on with your marriage vows or decide why an interloper is attracting carry out as a single women.
2016-10-09 19:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by gregersen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to be upset. Did you tell him you wanted a party? If so, you have the right to be really upset. He put fishing ahead of your needs. Not nice.
2007-09-25 04:16:17 · answer #9 · answered by merrybodner 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry he is wrong. He was planning a special thing for you and it was something you already know about and was looking forward too. He needs to tell his Dad to plan the fishing trip for the next weekend. Or another day.......Good luck
2007-09-25 04:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋