we have been married for about 6 years, have 2 girls together and one girl form her previous marriage (husband cheated). i am not perfect but do a lot around the house, never been unemployed, never cheated, no drugs, never go out with the guys, pay all the bills--including her failing business expenses. well 3 years ago after her best freind's bachelorette party, i am looking for my pocket knife and find a bag of cocaine. thought i was going to pass out... i confronted her and her friend and both said it was the friends and then she turned it around on me saying I was snooping. I have nothing to hide so she can look through all my stuff. well over the years i have found some text msgs about friends who need pills and price quotes and then today i am cleaning out the new SUV i bought and found a straw about 2 or 3 inches long with some residue in it. WTF do i do. she is good with the kids and we get along except for this i don't want a divorce but feel betrayed.
2007-09-25 03:41:25 · 9 answers · asked by joel95ex 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your wife is an addict, and may be a dealer, too. You need to exert some tough love, and now. Stage an intervention with family and friends you trust and haul her *** to rehab. If that doesnt' work, you have no choice but to file for divorce and turn her in. I'm sorry, but that is not something to mess around with. It's not like smoking a little pot now and then. You have children together and if you allow them to stay with her, you are putting them in a potentially dangerous - even life threatening - situation, and there is no excuse for that. If she refuses rehab, turn her in and file for divorce.
2007-09-25 03:54:06 · answer #1 · answered by meagain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough call, but I guess you need to know how often and how much of a habit are you dealing with. If it's purely recreational then it'll be tougher for you to convince her that she has a problem, and she'll continue to hide it from you. If it's more than every now and then....then you've got a tough road ahead of you, and you'll need some spiritual support from either clean friends and or family........good luck
2007-09-25 03:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you have to confront her. Just remember to tell her you love her very much and want to help her BUT the kids come first and you need to have their best interest in mind first. She may be good with them, I understand but they shouldnt be around anyone on drugs.. mom or not. Her saying you were snooping is just trying to turn the blame on you. It is not your fault she is using drugs. Its hers. and only she can make the decision to quit. I found that out the hard way. You can only tell her you love her and will be by her side if she decides to quit. If she dosent want to quit then you decide to stay or go. I honestly wish you good luck. hang in there.
2007-09-25 03:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
These things don't get better on their own. If she's lied to you about this for 6 years, what else is she lying about? I'd say you need to do some investigating. Looking into your finances and where those are spent. Maybe hire an investigator to see if she is out buying. Make sure she is doing it before you confront her.
2007-09-25 03:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
...and rightly so. You can't stay with a junkie. She'll be seeling stuff out from under you or you'll find her dead of an OD.
She turns this whle thing around on you and says your 'snooping'. Bull shavitsky. She's trouble and she'll drag you down with her. Either she gets help...which may be an exercise in futility when it comes to junkies or you toss her to the curb where she belongs.
Gotta think of the kids first man...then yourself.
2007-09-25 03:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to confront her and bring this to the open and let her know your concerns. Let her know how much you love her and value your marriage but you cannot continue to live like this not knowing who she is becoming. For the most part try to keep an open communication between you two, and if you don't already...pray.
2007-09-25 03:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is dealing she eventually will be caught...possibly with you as a co-defendant. Nip it in the bud or you are risking your children, your life and your freedom. She gets busted ask yourself how good of a mother is she if she spends time in jail and the kids get put in foster care.
2007-09-25 03:57:38 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yikes...she is using and probably selling to support her habit.
2007-09-25 03:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
see if you can get her in some sort of rehab and get some counseling together
2007-09-25 03:47:27 · answer #9 · answered by oh_jo123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋