Now that the honeymoon stage is dying, (no, we're not married), and the real, daily pace of work, to-do's, etc. are becoming the norm, how do two people prevent being bored. It even seems like a phone call is a struggle for words now, and there's just no smiling on the other end of the line like there used to be. Any advice?
2007-09-25 03:11:08 · 15 answers · asked by rlfesty 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Work at it. Suprise her. Do a special something for her. A successful relationship takes work to keep it fun. Good luck.
2007-09-25 03:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most couples go through that stage of not knowing what to do once the excitement and newness has worn off. What you are experiencing now is the onset of settling in but this doesn't have to be boring unless you are not absolutely sure that you want to be settled. Both of you have to use a little imagination to keep the excitement going. My husband and I have been married nine years and we still keep our Saturday date nights; we haven't missed one yet. And since Sunday is our only day off together, that is the day that we spend all day doing what we like to do together. But you have to find out what works for you two and go with that. I would recommend that you definitely make a date night even if it's only once a month. That gives you something to look forward to plus you can plan all kinds of things if you know what I mean. Remember that some kind of common thread or bond brought you two together in the first place and start with that.
2007-09-25 03:38:38 · answer #2 · answered by Catlover 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the flame of love is dying, then try to rekindle it again. Go on a date. Play a game. Go on a hike. Just try to be like you are friends again who share the same interest. Watch a funny movie where you can both laugh. Go to a park and eat hot dog together. Swim on a beach or take a train ride in a faraway place.Send love notes to each other and fill it with humor. Tell some funny jokes and pretend to laugh even if it's not funny. Visit a long lost friend and have a drink of cold beer. The list could go on and on. Just try to imagine yourself as new found friends and you will find that love has still a room in your heart.
2007-09-25 03:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by Reycen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are not married, I don't think it would be good to stay together. But that's not my decision to make. Let me share with you some of the things that my husband and I do to stay in tune with each other. #1. Phone Calls: You don't have to say much, just an "I was thinking about you and how much I love you" can make another person smile. #2. Set Dates: I know that things get crazy, us with working full time jobs and attending to 2 very active and busy children, but you need to have time together. We would set dates to go to free jazz concerts, or sometimes get tickets to a local play, go dancing, or just stay home (before we had kids) we'd get the mattress out of the bedroom and put it on the family room floor. A good movie, strawberry daquries, and some popcorn - Oh what a night! Just find time, even if you have to spell it out to do things you enjoy together. They don't even have to cost alot of money! #3: Do the small things: Leaving a note on my husbands windshield just saying Have a nice day, I love you, or him bringing me some flowers, or having dinner ready as a surprise one night for me, Or just giving each other a hug as you pass by. #4. Put the other person first in your life! That's important. It doesn't mean not spending time with friends or always having to be together, but when you can, be inclusive. Don't go out with other guys and leave your boyfriend behind, and he should not go out with other girls and leave you behind. Find friends together, even if that means making new friends. Invite some friends in exclusive/married relationships to dinner or just over for some coffee and dessert. #5: This one I can only say is for married couples or couples that have an exclusive relationship: Never sleep in separate beds. My grandfather used to tell me this. Doesn't matter even you are mad at each other! I don't know if that applies to you, but for married couples, it's good advice. Anyway, that's some things we married couples do to keep our relationships going. And smile, just a smile means the world to most people!
2007-09-25 03:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by bpsgirl123 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ya know how everyone always says that marriage takes work???
well, here's where the work comes into play.
it's WORK keeping that spark alive when the daily grind tries to snuff it out.
keep dating your wife/girlfriend! don't let work and to-do's keep you from spending time together...outside of the house with just the two of you!
even if it's catching a movie or having dinner....it will refocus your attentions on each other and not on the million and one things that will ALWAYS need done at home.
she won't feel taken for granted and you won't feel ignored.
and once you start dating again...don't stop!!! even when you have kids. it's hard to keep the spark alive and you can't wait for the other person to take the initiative to spark it back up.....if you wait the they may never do it.
so, if you notice it fading, then tell your mate to clear their schedule for the next friday night b/c you're taking him/her out!
take care:)
2007-09-25 03:54:09 · answer #5 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still in love -- Do things together. Make time to have date nights. If you are both interested in tennis let's say, then play together.
If there is no smiling and if your relationship has become stale, maybe your feelings aren't the same?
I suppose you both need to make an assessment of the relationship and figure out what you both want to do.
2007-09-25 03:18:15 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i (before we were married) lived two separate lives when we were dating...the best way that we found to get through the every day routine without falling apart was to make plans together...like in two weeks we set reservations for a cabin in the mountains...look into the future and not the present..
good luck..you will get through it--its really easy if you love the person
2007-09-25 03:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mindy S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is boring now what will it be 10 years from now? Do you have common interests? You may want to have a heart - to - heart and reconsider the relationship.
2007-09-25 03:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by Love being a Mom 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dude if youguys are already bored with one another then I'm sorry but she is not the one!
There is no amountof raunchyness you can create that will make you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman and her with you.
2007-09-25 03:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by bettercockster7 c 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the party is over so it may be best to split up and go your separate ways.
2007-09-25 03:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋