Me and my boyfriend have been together 6 years and we have two kids together. I have been unhappy for a long time and have told him many of times, He is a truck driver and is never here i am always here alone with the kids, we have lived with his mom for the whole six years on and off.I have no friends or family here and i am a stay at home mom.i dont go out or anything except to take the kids out..I have been cheating on him for the past 6 months and this other person makes me happy, He also has kids and seperated from his wife a year ago. he has asked me to be with him. He even changed jobs to make more money for me and stopped going out like he used to. So do you think that is is right for me to leave my boyfriend for someone else?? I dont want anybody to be mad but i dont want to spend the rest of my life unhappy either And i want to do what is best for me and my kids, but people tell me that i should not be with him just because of our kids so what do you think
2007-09-25 02:54:16 · 11 answers · asked by me5 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you need to make YOU happy, first.
Please, whatever you do, DO NOT MOVE IN with this other guy. If you want to get out of your current relationship, my best advice is to move out and get your own place... i guess this would mean getting a job, but if you are miserable you will have to do whatever it takes.
I'm sure you have been lonely and feeling neglected because your boyfriend is out of town a lot, and you don't have a social life.
Well it's time you GET A SOCIAL LIFE! Maybe you could join a gym, or a women's group. Volunteer to help with the school, and get involved with your kids' activities.
sometimes we don't realize it, but we are unhappy because we are idle and are not taking care of our own needs.... we can't depend on someone else for happiness... because happiness and contentment come from within.
As for the man you are having an affair with -- well, go ahead and see him... but please, don't take your kids from a living situation with one man, straight into the home of another man. this isn't right or fair to your kids (or you). You need to allow this guy to get to know the kids AFTER you leave your current guy.
What would you think if your mother went from living with one guy to the next? And suddenly sleeping with a different man?
Take care of YOU and those kids...
2007-09-25 03:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him you are unhappy and things have to change. You cant live your life being miserable. If things dont change then finish with him. However do not leave him for someone else. Rely on yourself and have your own independance first. Sort you and your kids out. Then when the times right you will eventually meet someone that is compatible with what you want out of life.
Maybe if you even have a trial seperation this will help you to look at what you both have and could be throwing away. You can then make a decision.
Good Luck.
2007-09-25 03:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by emma157 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass isn't greener....you cheat because you are bored. So you want to dump your long term, working,responsible man for the guy you cheat with. You have some issues to work out before you move into another relationship. First of all, if you have time to cheat you have time to get a job.....you' ll feel better about yourself if you earn a living. Second of all, you want another guy to support you...and your kids? He has his own problems. Living with your boyfriends mother is a major issue..tell him you need a home of your own....you cannot have two women in a house...its bad juju. Find something else to do intead of running around.
2007-09-25 03:18:08 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This forum is designed for people who made the committment to be married, not a pretend marriage. As for your question, you're considering leaving someone you never married but had kids with anyway, to go shack up with a guy who is technically married. You are wondering if this is "right." LOL!!!!! You never worried what was "right" ever before in your life, so why start thinking about it now? LOL!!! Do what makes YOU feel good. Keep repeating to yourself, "It's all about me-me-me-me-me!" Forget about the chaos and damage you are causing your kids. They don't matter at all.
Selfish adults, only caring about themselves, raising damaged children full of pain. The selfish adults do not care though.
Kent in SD
2007-09-25 03:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I wouldn't advise someone to leave a relationship to jump right into another one.
However, it seems that you've been in that one for a while anyway.
This guy seems to know what he wants and so it's up to you to decide what YOU want.
You must make up your mind as once you've chosen to go with him, there's no going back to your husband.
So, ask yourself if you're just enjoying some attention?
Whether you like the fact that you're doing something exciting?
Or whether you have something with this new guy that you definitely don't have with your husband and if you could build a future with him.
Good luck and when you make a decision, STICK to it. xx
2007-09-25 03:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you shouldnt be with him just for the kids BUT that doesnt make it right that your cheating on him.How would you like this if some chic was sleeping with your man?You should have left before you hooked up with someone else.
Now he could be a rebound..Who knows where this relationship will go.And your kids shouldnt be going through it.
2007-09-25 02:59:56 · answer #6 · answered by Gemini 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the place your concepts is going once you first heard, why are you collectively? If he needs youngsters additionally, think of of the sacrifice, guilt and unhappiness that he would desire to be feeling. i assumed that i could now not have youngsters for over 10 years. I met and married my husband for the duration of that element. We checked out adoption and would desire to now not take care of to pay for it. We have been looking into donor eggs as quickly as we found out some hormone medical care. thankfully it labored and my son is due in August. there are various strategies. come across an outstanding reproductive endocrinologist which you have faith and talk with them. If he has even some sperm, they'd do in vitro fertilization. do now not bounce the gun with out each and every of the information. there is probable hormone medical preserve adult men too. yet, my opinion is that in case you like this individual, there is a thank you to paintings it out. Couples medical care would desire to help additionally, so as that the two one in all you could recover from the preliminary marvel.
2017-01-02 15:59:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't leave him, he is out there making money for his family and it is not right for you to cheat on him, and if you leave him for the other guy, the other guy isn't going to trust you because you cheated on your man to be with him, he is going to think you are cheating on him too. So in that relationship you arent going to be trusted, and not only that, you will feel guilty about leaving your bf for this guy, it's not right. you should have left him first, then found someone.
2007-09-25 03:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by ilovelilPhof 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy answer 4 you! My first thought is to follow your heart! but I no that is easier said than done. I have been torturing myself about the same questions for a half a year without the affair, so Good luck girl and remember to be true to yourself everyone says the karma will come back for you but what about the karma of not being true to yourself and making yourself happy?
2007-09-25 03:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by **RUBY*** 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're whoring yourself with a man who is still married, you have children with this man making your children bastards and now you want to know if it's right for you to leave him for someone else? That's FUNNY, how do you justify being a whore and bringing children into that situation?
2007-09-25 08:07:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋