My stepson married his girlfriend of 6 years & most of the family does not really care for her. She got mad at me because he was 19 and she was 15 and I refused to let her spend the night with him. When I remodeled the kitchen she had the nerve to tell me "I don't like it but when I own this home I'll change it to how I like it". She had at one point said that if they ever had kids that she didn't want her child to ever come to our farm because farms are "so dirty". Yesterday during a converstion with a friend from out of state I found out she was pregnant. She nor my husband's son had bothered to let us know - my husband was hurt to find out this way but we can't do anything about it. But since we know now, I received an e-mail from my husband's ex that "it would be appreciated if you would contribute to the nursery". Since they have nothing to do with us except when they are getting a gift (Christmas) I say just buy a gift for the baby but not help with the nursery. Opinions?
2007-09-25 02:46:12 · 12 answers · asked by Love being a Mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Need to mention that we do have a granddaughter that belongs to the other son and she is with us all the time. But this girl had already said that the only person who could ever watch her kids would be her own mother. I have bought nice gifts for them in the past and spent quite a bit on their wedding gifts but never received a thank you from them. As for being this child's grandmother, I was told 3 years ago that she does not believe that step-parents are really grandparents and did her best to stop our granddaughter from calling me grandma. As for being a family, we are included in "her" family when she wants something. She is now in her 20's and I have bit my tongue so many times to keep from saying anything. She even made it a point to give me of my husband & his ex on their wedding day. My husband shook his head and gave them to his son. She just seems to want to make me angry or hurt me in some way with almost everything she does.
2007-09-25 03:03:09 · update #1
sorry - meant to say she gave me pictures of my husband and his ex on their wedding day.
2007-09-25 03:04:57 · update #2
Well, she is a child and she is behaving like a child. I think you should buy whatever you feel you would like the baby to have. Its about the baby and not the poor things parents. Hopefully your d-i-l will outgrow her obnoxious attitude. I say you should remain civil, try to keep the lines of communication open as much as possible and just buy whatever you think the baby could use ( nursery or not ). good-luck.
2007-09-25 03:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why fight fire with fire? Tell your husband to speak privately with his son, letting him know that even though you and she did not get off to a great start, you all still would like to be a part of the baby's life. Try to smooth things over by having your husband deliver that heartfelt message to his son. See if you all can start with a clean slate. If it doesn't work, than send a gift for the baby and do not contribute to the nursery. But keep in mind, that will drive the two families further apart.
2007-09-25 09:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you had to hear through the grapevine, I would buy only a baby gift. They didn't seem to care enough about you guys to even call to say that you were having a grandchild. How rude! I'd be nice to them when around them or speaking to them through phone or email, but I wouldn't go out of my way since they didn't go out of the way to even call to tell you. I would get them a nice baby gift but thats about it. Good luck!
2007-09-25 09:53:03 · answer #3 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of your relationship with your stepson and his wife, that's still your grandchild. Don't forget that one important fact and contribute to the nursery for that one reason alone.
2007-09-25 09:51:10 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't deal with her at all. She very disrespectful and if she don't want her child around you then don't beg for nothing. Keep takeing care of the other grandchild that loves you.
2007-09-25 11:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by Hot Chocolate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby needs to reach out to his son...after all...they share blood and shouldnt let outsiders dictate their lives. Don't get me wrong, I agree with you not letting them spend the night together but it seems that a father / son relationship is getting tarnished by wives. That is crazy.
2007-09-25 09:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you buy nothing for them and wait till the baby is born then if you want buy it something special,
2007-09-25 09:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by sandie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your husband and do whatever he feels is right, you cannot take matters into your own hands, he isn't even your own blood son, maybe that is why they don't really respect you (not making excuses, but it's true).
2007-09-25 09:54:57 · answer #8 · answered by ilovelilPhof 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give them your money. Just love the child if you ever get to see it
2007-09-25 10:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by tootsiebrownie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
isn't the baby ur grandchild???????? if YES then i c no reason not to help with the nursery
2007-09-25 09:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by joddie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋