Is it really such a dog eat dog world?

Question

I have a friend, Jack Russell, who used to be a boxer. He started out fighting down by the docks under the moniker “The Great Dane.” He was easy to spot in a crowd which is how he met that Irish lassie. Once he heard that husky voice of hers, he was never the same. I never liked that breed of woman, a high-toned, know-it-all with her nose always in the air, but he tailed after her like a lost puppy from the time he first laid eyes on her. I tried to tell him he was barking up the wrong tree, but I didn’t want to hound him too much.

She had set her mind to having him achieve bigger things, and dogged him everyday to take bigger matches. But she had no one to point her in the right direction, so her efforts to shepherd his career failed miserably. Eventually, she lost a lot of money to an Asian promoter named Shih Tzu. Jack tried to retrieve her money, but eventually sold his signed copy of the “The Maltese Falcon” and gave the money to her. Of course she abandoned Jack when she realized he had no future, eventually marrying a well-to-do gentleman with the high-faluting name of Basset Griffon Vendeen.

Jack never did hit the big time and retired broke. The only reminder of his former boxing career is a pug nose. I recently traveled by Greyhound to see him and was surprised at the change in him. He no longer had that bull dog tenacity about him, and his once happy demeanor had been replaced by a continual hangdog look. I can see his life has really gone to the dogs and have no idea how to make him a champion contender again.

Answer 1

What a fetching question, a real howl...canine give it a shot?

Uh, well, Jack's story didn't end there. Hiding under an Afghan, he stowed away to Frankfurt to study German Shepharding. Stopped at the Border, Terrierfied, he Pointered to his passport tags. He almost Poodled himself, scared Mastiffed, but kept it together. Once passed the Border patrol, he ran into the first dog house he could find.

Brittany Spears Spanial was slinging shots behind the bar, and Jack soon became hooked on Black Russian Terriers, and often went to Brittany's for Chow Chow. But weeks later, he shook his head, asked "what's the Pointer?" and Retrievered his senses. He Setter down easy, and she yelped, "don't you Havanese feelings!"
"Komondor" he answered, you know this thang ain't waggin' forever.

Jack was last seen Lowchen around in a Newfoundland.

woof!

Answer 2

Hahaaa, I love it! Do you write children's books?