if you have a rage/anger problem how do you deal with authority figures, gps, doctors, social workers etc?

Question

that are abrupt, condesending, patronizing, and pertinant with you?
you feel they basically just want to rouse you, get at you personaly, make you annoyed.

i struggle with assertiveness and dont have much confidence, plus i dont want to play into their hands by getting angry or losing control.
so how can i handle it whe i feel authority figures do this to me?
intitially i try to be nice, but ive felt they try to take advantage of me, are short and abrubt and patronizing. but you have to be carefull because they can turn it around on you and make you look like you were in the wrong.
i'm so scared of getting angry because of difficult people who show lack of respect and talk down to you, like you dont no what you are talking about

Answer 1

Sounds like you delt with some hard issues as a child. This assertiveness comes from the lack of confidence that should have been built up in you when you were a child. The lack of confidence and constant emotional abuse puts most people in this state of mind. You'll have to come to realize that not everyone is out to get you. Not everyone is doing these things on purpose. Not everyone will think like you do. And not everyone will have the same personality, courtesy, and respect that we expect. Some people show these things differently and can come across as if they are being abrupt, and condensending like you describe. It takes a while to control this assertiveness. And sometimes we don't get it controlled all the way and we slip.
You feel like you're constantly on defense right? Do you feel like when you meet a new friend, or meet that special someone, you're just waiting for that ax to fall because you don't have that trust, or faith in their intentions and you expect them to hurt you? Feelings like this often will cause us to be on defense all the time, and expect the worse before it even happens. (if it happens). So when you read people, you may be looking for those clues that will prove your impressions of them, and think that it is them trying to deceive you, or being abrupt with you, or doing things on purpose just to get a rise out of you because you are waiting for that ax to fall. It's like you expect the worse to happen because you feel as though that's all you deserve. It's not. You deserve to be happy, and to feel happy. You deserve to feel that others see the best in you. You deserve better than what you have been delt so far in life. Does this make any sense? I hope. I've been through some of this, and I still have trouble trusting from time to time.
Best wishes to you. I hope this helped some.

Answer 2

My husband is a police officer and is one of the good guys. I have known police officers that did abuse their authority, but there are way more good ones that are out there to help people than ones who are there to abuse their authority. On the flip side of that he has pulled over many, many people who automatically have a chip on their shoulder because the don't like authority. How is he supposed to treat you with respect when you automatically disrespect him?? Everyone should be treating everyone with respect. Wouldn't that make the world go around a little more nicely?? Good luck

Answer 3

As I said in another answer to you, I think you would benefit from an advocate to help you deal with these people. They will run rings around you if they can get away with it. You can also have a lay advocate. If you have a witness they are not going to do anything that you can take issue with and also the advocate will speak on your behalf if you feel your voice does not get heard. It's disgusting, but true, that we get discredited when it comes to our recall of facts and they will have their version accepted as the truth!

Answer 4

I can relate 100%. They are taking advantage of their authority because they know there's no consequence for it on their part. It's very hard. I've dealt with social workers, doctors, police officers, you name it-being abusive mentally & physically & playing mind games & discriminating. It makes me think they cheated their way through their college degrees or whatever training.

Answer 5

because they are in a position to stop your money, stop your help etc. I would just bite my tongue...when you have to take their **** because they know they can dish it out to you...then you do just that until you get on your own two feet..believe me, i've been there, and if you speak up to the wrong person, they can make it very bad for you..many of those people who get involved in that job are either very very nice, or really really condensending, and control freaks,..it has nothing to do with you

Answer 6

you are not alone.most adults suffer from childhood issues where there was alot of pent up anger as a child and we carried it in to adult life. but you need to take a deep breath and exhale slowly and then think of what you are going to say in a calmly matter.or if there is some kind of anger towards someone you need to get closure.