My Friend called me shallow but i have valid reason!?

Question

I was at on a train one day and this overwieght girl asked me fif i wanted her phone number and would like to go out and i said str8 out no i don't own a phone my mate then said oh you can put it in my phone and i'll give it to later.Angry that my friend did'nt get the hint i just said str8 out to the girl i'm just not interested i felt bad that i had to break it to her but not only did she have no class and was overwieght but she was also really childish at like 18 yrs oldMy friend then turns to me and says your shallow man.I'm 20 now.This is going to sound coceited (maybe)but is it really shallow to not go out with girls form athey're apparance i mean i work hard on mine keep my hair and style fresh and also do my best to ep fit in the gym and its hard work damn right i want a hot girl for all the hard effort i put into stying in shape who else agrees with me or am i just shallow i really don't think i am who understands where i'm coming from?

I would like to add i don;t want super hot looking girl jus a decent one not one that stuffs her face with potatoe chips and chocalate cake wheres the pride in they're appearance.

Let me add some perspective to the type of guy i am not SHALOW people.
I'll just say straight out and put it buntly
i don't want any girl who dos'nt look after her appearance.I could'nt care if she was'nt naturally beautful she could be average looking but just take care of herself and respect her body Body for me i a larger issue than the face really i've been out with no that pretty chicks with hot bodies and good personalities.

Answer 1

No, I don't see it as being shallow. I see you as being someone who knows what he wants/doesn't want and is willing to work hard as well as make the necessary sacrifices to get there. She was blunt with you and you may have been a little curt with her; so.......? Shrug. It would have been worse to give in to something that you were not in favor of and scold yourself later for being a wimp. I feel that you did the right thing. You're man enough to hold out for what you really want. Good for you; you didn't allow yourself to get side-tracked.
btw, what kind of "friend" is this mate??! Maybe she'd like to date HIM.

Answer 2

The best way to put it is, I don't date heavy set, whatever the hell you want to call it, girls because I don't date people who care less about their health and appearance than I do. I could say, "it's not because you're fat, it's because I don't want to be fat, and if I care and you don't, then we're disagreeing without even saying anything, off to a bad start I would say".

In addition, I find girls opening a conversation by asking for my number really unnattractive. Unless their insanely gorgeous I guess, that would be pretty sweet. The reason is their demonstrating lower value and also desperation, which is unnattractive. Unless like I said they're really gorgeous, because then it's like "I'm hot, you're hot. Let's bang" but to be honest that never really happens except once and it was a total mistake a couple weeks later... Uhm anyways, I think people should date people their same attractiveness. I mean, to the less attractive person, do you want to look unnattractive in comparison?

Answer 3

If you're not interested, you're not interested. People don't seem to realize that you can't force someone to be interested in a particular person. Your friend shouldn't have gotten involved, he did it to embarrass you and the poor girl.

Attraction is a tricky business...it encompasses a lot of things-- physical looks, chemistry, humor, intelligence, common interests. Just don't base it on ONE particular thing (which, to you, seems to be just physical attractiveness when you say you want a "hot girl"). No one can force you to be interested in a particular girl, but if you ONLY rate attractiveness on looks, then yes, you're being shallow.

Answer 4

I think it was kind of you to try let the girl on the train down easy, and it wasn't your friend's place to interfere, and put you and the girl in an embarrassing position.

But, still, it doesn't matter how many hours you put in at the gym, or spend on your wardrobe. Judging people solely on appearance is shallow. And it's really a shame, too, because one day your looks are going to fade, and then, what will you have left?

Answer 5

It's your life, you can choose who you want to or don't want to go out with. But what you can do is to say no nicely. Just because you are not interested in someone, doesn't mean that you should embarrass them in front of other people. Class is NOT dictated by what you wear or how much you weigh, it is dictated by your actions.

Answer 6

maybe not shallow, but perhaps too blunt?? could have just been like uh sure and then after getting off the train never think about it again..if she calls just handle that situation when u get to it. but to each their own. i dont think your shallow tho. if you would have judged her worth based on these criteria (weight, maturity, etc) then yes shallow.

Answer 7

True, and since you seem so fit and attractive, that's why the girl approached you. Maybe she's shallow.

Answer 8

No, you have a valid reason for not being attracted to a girl over weight, but at the same time, you are conceited and seem to have your priorities askew.

Answer 9

well i do understand where ur coming from u shouldn't be called shallow for not being attracted to the fat chick..

its not fair.. u cant help not being attracted to her

xx

Answer 10

Your friend is just a typical friend .... trying to " get your goat " and let you embarrass yourself in front of a woman .
LET IT GO .
And , oh yeah ! .... get over yourself !