When I met him, he was nice. After we dated, I realized that he did not treat me like I was used to being treated. I told him that I did not want to see him again, but he persisted. He is acting more like the person I thought he was now. He has become more respectful, and now says that he loves me. He says that I am different from the other women that he has been with, and he believes that I am the girl he will end up marrying.
I am not ready for the marriage part right now, but my question is this---Do guys sincerely change if they fall hard enough for a girl, or is this just an act? I just hate to waste my time, because I will kick him to the curb if he takes me for granted again.
I am a good woman that is not jumping into the sack with every Joe Blow. I take care of myself, and I always try to look especially nice when I am with a gentleman. I have a good job, and I am fairly well educated. Please tell me what you think about this situation.
2007-09-24 20:26:49 · 20 answers · asked by PEGGY S 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
THAT'S A TUFF QUESTION SOME MEN CHANGE BUT THEN AGAIN SOME MEN ONLY CHANGE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE LOOSING YOU FOR THEN TIME BEING THEN THEY FALL BACK INTO THERE OLD SELF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU NEED TO DECIDE IF YOU ARE IN LOVE W/ HIM AND WANT TO WORK IT OUT SIT HIM DOWN AND PUT ALL YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE AND TELL HIM HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED AND THAT YOUR NOT EASY AND SO IF HE AGREES TO IT WATCH AND SEE HOW HE ACTS AND TREATS YOU A PERSON DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE IF NO CHANGE THEN FORGET IT MOVE ON GOOD LUCK
2007-09-24 20:38:18 · answer #1 · answered by kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alllright peggy, your problem is a common syndrome with a lot of people. Not just guys, girls too. Just for the sake of starting a relation, people act a lot, lose their original self and become someone downright sweet to get attention and give you immense respect and your time and space, but once the relationship goes a few years down the line, people start taking the other person for granted, lose respect, drop to their original selves and henceforth ensues a series of minor issues about taste difference. As time passes, they take you more for granted and dont find it very exciting to respect and love you the way they used to do at the beginning. The attention is gone. Blame it on their persona or at the situation where you both have come too close to forget giving attention. See I am not commenting on your guy but I am showing the general problem with faking our characters. Do you think he is re-enacting this just to get back to you ? If you think it is, you are probabl right, he has already changed 2 times, just even before marriage, keep guessing the possiblities later.
Play it safe henceforth. People dont think the cumulative damage that might occur when they fake. As long as you are concerned, I think you are pretty mature and careful and self-respecting. So save yourself the trouble. Dont go all love-blind and be careful and if you can do your homework.
Good luck !
2007-09-24 21:23:36 · answer #2 · answered by peekay_iitkgp 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow tough choice.
I believe he may just be that, falling in love with you. I know that love makes a man do some pretty strange things and I believe if someone loves you strong enough they could change.
But, there are the predators that are smooth as silk and can convince you to believe anything to get you into the sack.
You could test him. Tell him you might want to take some time off and see other people. See if he reacts, if he questions why and attempts convince you otherwise then maybe he is truthful. If he don't respond or goes back to his OLD habits maybe it was a front.
Good Luck
2007-09-24 20:36:56 · answer #3 · answered by davethepanther 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can't change, including us. This I learned from my early years.... We can adjust but not change. Once we get what we want, we tend to fall on our old self. Same with the guy you have dated.
Man will do and say everything just to get what they want. Especially in this stage of trying to build a relationship. Even though they don't mean everything they say.
If you are ready for marriage why bother.
Move on.
2007-09-24 20:42:53 · answer #4 · answered by Blue Angel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi you seem very mature and I wouldn't worry about him.I'm sure what he's telling you is real.Why? Because you don't tell a women you want to marry her so quickly.Its a huge mistake. In fact telling a women this is a relationship breaker.Why? lol Because its puts alot of pressure on the women and makes the man look very needy. Telling him you were leaving made him truly tell you what was in his heart. Too bad its what going to push you further away.
2007-09-24 20:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by mividacristiana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a companion is a lot like a existence companion. which will constantly stay with him and loosen up him while he's under pressure. and might count on while he won't have the capacity to do something. A grlfriend is like have been going out! yay. woopdidoo. going out won't be love. it rather is purely to start to appreciate eachother. no longer thoroughly yet in general. u won't have the capacity to circulate out for ever. So while ur waiting, tell him that u love. in a deferential way. no longer all sassy and stuff. then he will understand ur emotions and be with u greater generally. then he will have confidence u adequate to bare all his secrets and techniques to u. and that's the factor the place u will understand he loves u like loopy.
2016-10-05 07:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, me personally, i used to have a strict thug mentality, and gave up on love because i figured every woman out there was only wanting me to take my virginity. so i gave up. now, i met this beautiful woman, and somehow, i slipped up, and fell in love with her, and now we're ENGAGED!!! to be married. she is truly the one for me. yes, in all of that craziness, i had adopted the playa mentality too, but that all sincerely changed when i found out that my fiancee was the "REAL DEAL". you know? so yeah, it is true that this can happen. i'm a living witness.
2007-09-24 20:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by TWIN 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Guys never change! and neither do woman. We are who we are and our true colors show eventually no matter how hard we try to hide them. This may last a good long while but eventually he will show his. Move on and it sounds like you need to let him down gently he could be stalking material honey!
2007-09-24 20:34:52 · answer #8 · answered by soulmate_n_nc 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only you can decide. If he is telling the truth perhaps.
May be no. Then he is back to his old self. Just observe and test him with all your wit.Okay give me an answer one year's time.
2007-09-24 23:56:12 · answer #9 · answered by hwa g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"the road to hell is paved with good intentions..." he may be saying this to get you back. he may be good for a while. but, sooner or later he will go back to his old ways. thats how it is...love can change you for the time being, but it cant change who and what you are.....
2007-09-24 20:32:53 · answer #10 · answered by Chris S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋