My friend is 27, has completed her M.Sc. with a pleasant personality. She has been engaged for 1 year and the date of wedding is decided to be within next few months. She says that she is not interested in getting married. there is no strong reason sometimes she says that her fiancy is not good looking or some times she argues that she do not want to take responsibilities after getting married or object the age difference (he is 35) or says that she want to do job and have want to have a better carrer. we are not clear that what is the actual reason. and according to our opinion it was a good proposal, well educated, nice family , normal looks of the person (not ugly). her parents say that they cannot wait now as she is already 27 furthermore they think that it will be a perfect match for her. any one suggest what is the reason that she behave so and what should we do.
2007-09-24 19:47:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should do nothing. This is between your friend and her fiance.
Ever think that part of the reason she is delaying may be because of everyone's interference?
This is a totally private decision. Respect that.
2007-09-25 00:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by Suz123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, this is 2007, not 1807. Women being pushed into relationships is SO TWO CENTURIES AGO. Maybe she was going along with what everyone else wanted, but is now choosing to follow her heart? Who says a woman must be married by a certain age? If the parents 'can't wait' for her to be comfortable in a match, they need to seriously have a little sit-down chat with this guy called DR PHIL. Or maybe this chick, you mighta heard of her, Oprah Winfrey!
Let the poor girl run her own life! If she's old enough to get married, she's damn well old enough to choose whether to get married or not.
Give her space. She may be overwhelmed, or she could very well have decided that marriage isn't for her, or GO FIGURE, maybe she doesn't LOVE the guy! Some girls think they lov someone because their familes and friends convince them to love the person. Then they realize they don't really love them.
2007-09-24 19:55:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it shows that your friend is just maki ng alibis or excuse so she will no longer be married to her bf. Perhaps, she is in in the stage wherein she has fallen out of love with the guy she is about to marry. Because based from your story, you mentioned that the you see that her bf is actually ok in looks, in status in life and even your other friends and your friend's parents have no problems re their daughter's bf. I suggest that you talk to your friend and talk to her if she doen't want to be married with her bf at all or if she is not yet ready. You and your friends' parents can't force her to marry her bf if she has no reason at all to marry the said guy. Remember, "HAPPINESS IS A MATTER OF CHOICE" so if she is happy being a single then let her to be one ,maybe that's her vocation / calling to be SINGLE for life. Also, if she will b eforced tomarry someone she doesn't like and love anymore, the marriage will suffer and even their lives will be miserable so better if you and her family will just respect whatever decision she will make.
2007-09-28 19:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by chrizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um maybe that this is none of your business!!
Why do people always get their panties in a knot when it comes to a woman not really wanting to get married, but it's all dandy when a man says the same thing?
I don't think it's anyone else's business, not even her parents, as to why she isn't sure about a set wedding date. It's between her and her fiance.
The things she's saying are probably out of frustration with trying to come up with excuses to justify herself to you and everyone else, which she doesn't need to do.
I would suggest that you just stay out of her business and support her decisions, that's what you should do.
2007-09-24 19:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymousgirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to be a caring friend bu there is not much you can do but leave her to make her own decisions. By the sounds of it, she should not be getting married so ask her if she thinks it really is a good idea or maybe she should reconsider. Don't worry, she will figure it out.
2007-09-24 20:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she is not in love with this man and only excepted his proposal due to family pressure to get married. she should leave the guy and tell family and friends to take a hike! she will only end up divorcing the guy. let her be and let her live her life the way she wants to , she is a grown woman!
2007-09-24 20:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by nytengayle13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she needs to get unengaged.....it's OK! People don't have to be married to feel like a whole person. Marriage is not for everybody. I just discussed this with my own 34 year old daughter! There is no law that dictates that everyone should get married.
2007-09-24 19:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by Nitasaythis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think something is bothering her too much..... the reasons she is giving are just excuses.... someone very close to her needs to talk to her... understand her side of the story and then do something about it... making her meet happily married couples can make her feel secured about the marriage... maybe she is nervous.... get that nervousness out of her... best way to do that is by talking and showing a live example of a working sucessful marriage
2007-09-24 19:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by manav 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing - as her friends all you can do is listen & support her choices.
It's her life & marriage is a serious commitment. Better to have cold feet now than to divorce later.
She needs to sort things out for herself & will explain herself when she is ready & if she wants to do so.
2007-09-24 19:51:12 · answer #9 · answered by Treadstone 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is not in love with him obviously. Don't push her. Let her wait until she is ready. Some people never get married. There is nothing wrong with that either!!
2007-09-24 19:51:35 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋