Is 16 sexual partners too many for a 30 year old woman?

Question

Hi there. I am 30 and met what I thought was the woman of my dreams. She seemed different: wants a family, caring, considerate, funny, cute etc. She just told me that she's been with 16 men. She's a little older. I'm 30 but have only been with half that. Is this too many? Should I just walk away?

Answer 1

No it's not too many. Why are you feeling gypped that you didn't get that many?

Answer 2

Did I wake up in 1923?
The short answer is no - it isn't relevant and there is no benefit to a relationship to discuss it unless you have contracted a STD and need to inform people.
Walking away will benefit her if you're only going to bring it up in the future and suggest she's not worthy of your apparent superior morality.
Perhaps a better question for you is why are you concerned about it? If you're insecure about your sexuality then clearly one would be too many, but a 30-year old virgin is hard to come by and you probably wouldn't want that either.
As the former Ms Promiscuity 1994 you can relax because she's seen enough not to judge and still know how to work with what you give her. That confidence alone is a good reason to only date 'experienced' women.
Grow up and welcome to the 21st Century.

Answer 3

As you've read from other answers, many people have been with more than that. But it's totally up to you, obviously it is bothering you so it won't work out. If you are gonna give it a try, make sure you're both tested for STD's and you really need to make sure what her motive is. Really it's just a number, and in todays world it's probably a low number for a 30 year old if you think about it. There could be a number of reasons why she has done what she has... but it is also part of who she is and what helps make her what she is. Maybe you guys should slow down and be friends and just learn more about each other.

Answer 4

Dude, I knew girls that had that many partners (or more) when they were like 15. I personally have had more than that (not many more, but more). I'm 27. The question really is not how many she's had but the quality of her relationships. In other words, were they all one night stands? Has she slept with many people she didn't know very well? Were they all committed relationships? That's the difference; mine were all committed relationships where we were dating and neither of us were sleeping with other people. I have not ever had a one night stand or slept with someone I had just met recently or hadn't known very long. THAT'S what you need to go by. A number by itself tells you nothing. If she sleeps with people she doesn't know very well or something like that, then that's something else. I will tell you that if it bothers you, maybe you shouldn't pursue this relationship, especially if you are going to say things to her about it.
And by the way, I bet you don't care how many she's been with when she's showing off her expertise. What is it with men? They love the knowledge experienced women have but have a problem with where you learned the technique. That is so unfair.

Answer 5

There's no such thing as too many or too few. We are who we are. No matter who you meet, you'll find some stuff you just love and some stuff you're not too crazy about. It's all about what tips your scales.

Do those sixteen other guys mean more to you than her one caring, considerate, funny, cute self? If so, then hit the curb. If not, then head out and buy yourself a U-Haul truck full of condoms and start wearing out those bed-springs...and the carpet, and the dining table, and the shower, and maybe the shrubbery out back when no one's looking.

By the way, have you asked her how she feels about your eight maids-a-milkin'?

Answer 6

Heck, no. That's only one guy per year since she was 14.
If you factor in the handful of one-night-stands and relationships that only lasted two weeks, then she's probably averaging one guy every two years. That's hardly extraordinary.
Serious if she's "different: wants a family, caring, considerate, funny, cute etc", what's the problem? She sounds like everything you could want in a woman.

Answer 7

Women have men applying for sex to a much greater extent than men. If you were conservative and she was fast, even then it would depend on her attitude to you and the future. But you are just playing a number game, like a jealous jackass, and the real question is are you mature enough? Walking away--never a bad idea, if you can! My own Father rejected a woman in his single days on a basis similar to this and he later wondered if what he did was right (not that he didn't love my Mother).

Answer 8

Well, she obviously cares enough about you to tell you how many men shes slept with....something that a woman would not just divulge to any regular joe. If she was safe about her relations and doesnt have any attachments (ie Stalkers, STI's, feelings for a past lover) then stay and talk with her. You're lucky to have a woman that knows how to please a man! But 16 partners is hardly the issue that should determine your feelings for this woman.

Answer 9

Does she mean she had SEX or just fooled around? Im currently at around 5-8 (I never counted) and I'm 28. But, I was in a 6 year and another 4 year long term relationship. I should average around 10 by the time I'm 30. If I wasn't lucky to get a LTR, I'd prolly average round 16. It's not that bad.

Answer 10

16 sounds like a lot, but that all depends on how old she was when she started having sex. Personally, I think if you are asking if it's too much, then it's obviously too much for you. If it bothers you now, it's likely to continue bothering you. If you are wondering if you should walk away, I think you already have your answer. You don't like her enough to be able to set aside the fact that she's been sexually active. Everyone has a right to their own values, if this goes against yours, you should do what you think is right for you.

Answer 11

She probably shouldn't have told you. Ask yourself: does she display good character and judgment? Is love important to her? Do you trust her? Does she understand the importance of being faithful? Can she love? 16 is just a number, unless you make it into something more. It's possible that she has learned her lesson, that love is more important than sex. Or it may be that she once had poor self-esteem and slept with guys to feel better about herself. You need to get to know her better before you know the answer to these questions. But if you dump her on the basis of a number, you'll just find some woman who will lie to you and give you a low number. It's good that this woman is at least truthful.