evry moning im angry.my guy is great but when im like this it sets him off. then i feel like total ****. help!

Question

I wake up pissed off.... i dont know why... my boyfriend is really great, we have a nice place... whats wrong with me? When i wake up like this my boyfriend takes the brunt of it and it sets him off... then i feel like a totally horrible person... am I???? or is there some other reason for my anger...... does anyone know??? am i the only one? Am i just some horrible *****?? I really dont want to be that person but i dont feel like I can help it.... someone help!!! please?

Answer 1

Bingo! You've got the answer. You have anger inside you, always ready to surface.

So what do you do? Self-reflect. Analyze. Dig deep. Ask yourself what exactly is this anger all about. It could be resentment held from your upbringing, bad life experiences, for example. Identify the issue, then you can address it - usually by forgiving the people who caused you pain - and your anger will leave.

Answer 2

I, too, often wake up feeling extremely irritable. Especially if I have slept badly, which I often do. Then I am snappish and bitchy with my husband and son, and the whole day starts off wrong. Why this is, I don't know. Maybe the hormone levels are low in the morning.

Answer 3

How well are you sleeping? Re-examine your diet, in accordance with your nutritional type, as shown at www.mercola.com (taskbar). See anger management, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris, on page 4, and also page 3. Try getting up, after 6 - 8hrs sleep, saying very little, until having a shower, a cuppa, and something to eat. A full physical would be a good idea, in case your blood sugar is low, after fasting overnight, indicating pre-diabetes.

Answer 4

Identify triggers and warning signs of anger. The first step in being able to manage your anger is to recognise the situations that make you angry and your body's warning signs of anger.

List things that can trigger your anger. Make a list of the things that often set off your anger (for example, running late for an appointment and not being able to find a car park, your teenager leaving dirty dishes in the sink or a co-worker blaming you for something you didn't do). If you know ahead of time what makes you angry, you may be able to avoid these things or do something different when they happen.

Notice the warning signs of anger in your body. Notice the things that happen to your body that tell you when you are getting angry (for example, a pounding heart, flushed face, sweating, tense jaw, tightness in your chest or gritting your teeth).The earlier you can recognise these warning signs of anger, the more successful you will probably be at calming yourself down before your anger gets out of control.

Control your thinking. When you're angry, your thinking can get exaggerated and irrational. Try replacing these kinds of thoughts with more useful, rational ones and you should find that this has an effect on the way you feel. For example, instead of telling yourself 'I can't stand it, it's awful and everything's ruined', tell yourself 'It's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it'. Psychologists call this type of thinking 'self talk'. Develop a list of things to say to yourself before, during and after situations in which you may get angry. It is more helpful if these things focus on how you are managing the situation rather than what other people should be doing.

Take time out. If you feel your anger getting out of control, take time out from a situation or an argument. Try stepping outside the room, or going for a walk. Before you go, remember to make a time to talk about the situation later when everyone involved has calmed down. During time out, plan how you are going to stay calm when your conversation resumes.

Use distraction. A familiar strategy for managing anger is to distract your mind from the situation that is making you angry. Try counting to ten, playing soothing music, talking to a good friend, or focusing on a simple task like polishing the car or folding laundry.

Use relaxation. Relaxation strategies can reduce the feelings of tension and stress in your body. Practise strategies such as taking long deep breaths and focusing on your breathing, or progressively working around your body and relaxing your muscles as you go.

Try to acknowledge what is making you angry. Acknowledge that a particular issue has made you angry by admitting it to yourself and others. Telling someone that you felt angry when they did or said something is more helpful than just acting out the anger. Make sure you think about who you express your anger to, and take care that you aren't just dumping your anger on the people closest to you, or on people who are less powerful than you. For example, don't yell at your partner, children, or dog when you are really angry with your boss. Sometimes it can help to write things down. What is happening in your life? How do you feel about the things that are happening? Writing about these topics can sometimes help give you some distance and perspective and help you understand your feelings. Work out some options for changing your situation.

Take responsibility for your feelings to avoid blaming others. Notice when 'blameshifting' begins to leak into your speech. "I feel angry when you are twenty minutes late and you don't call me" is much better than, "You make me so mad by being late."

Answer 5

Obviously your not a morning person...just talk to him about it

Answer 6

WHAAAAAAAA!!! I am angry in the morning WHAAAAAAAAA!