I'm a full time mom,housekeeper,gardener,slave,doctor,lawyer,consultant,and loving wife.I do everythingfor my family and my husband, I LOVE THEM very much but the thing is my sister started this day for uswives that we should have a sat. to ourselves to do whatever all day, no questions asked from the hubbies!! My hubbie isn't so into this, he say's that our time,my time should be with the kids,which is everyday so what i guess the ? is, should I go out on sat. to do for myself or just stay at home with the kids as usual?
2007-09-24 17:59:38 · 26 answers · asked by ajjsdj4ever 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Discuss it with your husband. Tell him you need to spend time outside of the house.
2007-09-24 18:02:01 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People don't realize that being a full-time SAHM *is* actual work, even though you aren't getting paid. Obviously you care for your family very much but every caregiver needs to get a break, or else you suffer from burnout. And that's when things go downhill and quality of life becomes nill.
It's selfish for your hubby to think that you cannot have a day to yourself independent of the family or him. Every marriage needs a time where both people are willing to be independent and then come back together. Also, it's selfish for him to think that the particular day needs to be devoted to him alone. I understand just the two of you having your day, but you still need YOUR own day.
Sit down with him and have a talk-- you're overwhelmed, tired, and just want a break. He needs to put himself in your shoes. Most men will never get the idea that a day in the office will never be as hard as a day taking care of the home and kids.
If he still doesn't agree with it, too bad. Is he not a contributing partner to your marriage? Is he not (gasp) also a parent as well? Take your day off, explain to the kids briefly that mommy needs to relax, and go hang out with your sister. That will send him the message that he can't just take you for granted.
I have worked in a home where the wife did EVERYTHING for that family, and the husband would come home, sit on his @ss, watch tv, get served dinner by his wife, and then go to sleep. The poor mother was exhausted all the time, even though I was a PCA helping out. Do you want to live like that? no!
Everyone needs time away from their families-- pretty soon your kids as they get older will need time away and I bet your hubby gets with the guys. So it's quite just for you to do the same.
2007-09-25 01:14:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymousgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Taken time for yourself is not a selfish thing to do. You need to do this. There is an old saying "If momma isn't happy, nobodies happy". If there is nothing major happening that you are missing, go do something for yourself. Kind of sounds like your husband just doesn't want to be the one to take care of the kids while your out.
The no questions asked by the hubbies is a little much for me. I wouldn't want my husband to disappear for the day and not know where he is. Take time for yourself, but don't keep him in the dark as far as what you are doing. Leads to imagining the worst.
Good luck and have fun!
2007-09-25 01:06:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need a break. I would go crazy if I didn't get out once in awhile! I disagree about the comment "no questions asked" because that is a lack of respect but if you are honest with the husband and it is just for a day, there is no reason he shouldn't let you go out. Does he get a break? Then so should you! A day off or a day out does NOT mean that you are not in love, not a good mother -it means you are a human being that should be allowed to feel refreshed and social!
2007-09-25 01:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't take care of yourself then you will probably crack. It is so important for you to have time for yourself to do what you want. Your mental well being is at stake and the well being of your family. You can't be the best mom/wife that you are capable of if you feel like a slave. Perhaps a compromise would work for you and your husband, every other Saturday you are free to do as you please and the alternate Sat. are for family time. I have six children and a winy husband. I am fortunate enough to be the most popular person in the house that everyone comes to when they have a crisis. From girlfriends, football, math class, to where are my clean clothes, everyone complains/confides in me. I have to insist on me time to keep my sanity. I love my family but sometimes I have to run away from them for the day to keep my head on straight. I'm sure it's the same for all wives/mothers. Take two Saturday's a month for yourself or you may grow to resent some of the things you are doing for your family.
2007-09-25 01:14:55 · answer #5 · answered by checkthisout! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not only okay, it is ESSENTIAL to your sanity that you have time away from both kids and hubby, to remember who you are and to spend time on things you enjoy.
My kids are in school all day, so I get plenty of opportunities now for 'me' time, but when they were younger, my hubby was very good about running the household for at least a couple of hours in the evening or on Saturday so I could escape.
Maybe you need to explain to your husband that full-time motherhood is a full-time position, including on-call time. He gets a couple of days off a week to recharge, and you need some time 'off the clock' to recharge as well. How would he feel if he never had any down time at all? Perhaps if you present it to him that way, he'll understand.
Another option is to find another mom to swap babysitting with so you can leave your children with them for a few hours and get some time off. Then you do the same for her.
2007-09-25 01:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he doesnt like it or understand it for that matter if he is always gone for work and such he doesnt deal with it. Im betting he also gets his alone time with the guys right? No it is not wrong for you to go and do your thing but it will probably cause some marital issues as he wont understand. I guess youll have to decide if you want to put your foot down and have your time. Its actually healthy to have regular breaks from the monotony. You will feel better and in return it will give you something to look forward to so that your work feels a bit more rewarding. I SAY DO IT.
2007-09-25 01:05:20 · answer #7 · answered by money72 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need time for yourself. Ask him if he would like to be with the kids 24/7? He should appreciate a wife that can actually stay home with the kids. He should be more then willing to stay with the kids on Sat. since he isn't there for them during the week. I could have been a stay at home mom but I couldn't take it. More power to you for being there.
2007-09-25 01:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by Peanut 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet your kids are little.
My husband HATES when I go out. Still, and they're grade schoolers.
There was a time when I used to cry because I never got out of the house. My husband saw this and relented. THEN when I would get back from wherever I was, he would be mad.
Well, you know what? Too bad! I needed a mental and emotional break and he was more than capable of taking care of things for a few hours.
Again, he is still resentful and always ALWAYS has something sarcastic to say about me going out, but it's no where near as bad as it was.
And I always came back refreshed and happier.
Maybe you could explain it to him that way...
2007-09-25 01:12:23 · answer #9 · answered by autimom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a girls day out once in awhile..How about every other Saturday, like 12-6...Do you and your husband have date night? That should be penciled in too..Sit husband down, give him choices...such as I need time away for a few hours. I want either Saturday or Sunday 9-3 or 12-6. Your not giving him the option of saying no, your giving him the option of what day...
2007-09-25 01:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone needs some time to themselves...EVERYONE!! And your husband should understand that. I am sorry to hear that he doesn't. Maybe if you remind him that even though he goes off to work everyday, THAT is his break from the family life. Yes, it's a job....but it's away from the family. It is "his" time. If he still doesn't get it, or see it that way, maybe suggest that HE take a day to do whatever he might like to do....ie. fishing, bowling, whatever (but hopefully not boozing with babes..lol)
Anyway, yes, I think you should take the day off Saturday, and have some "me time" of your own. You've earned it !!!
p.s. I think Lorie up there is a newlywed !!
2007-09-25 01:05:59 · answer #11 · answered by Trisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋