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My mother remarried this male 20 years older then herself. He has kids but they are a lot older then my brother or myself. They have been married for 8 years. For the time I lived at home we were consistently abused!!!!! I was the main target because I was older, I was always told how useless I was and how I couldn’t do anything, but my mother would always tell us we should just take it and be quiet. Never to stand up for ourselves. But I soon realized I had to get out, so I did. I’ve been out for 3 months. And now he’s started on my little brother of only 13. Fine pick on me, I can take it and get out. He can’t. My mother has to make sure she gets home when my brother does so to make sure her husband doesn’t verbally abuse him. PLEASE HELP ME AND MY BROTHER I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I NEED TO GET HIM OUT, BUT I CANT AFFORD FOR HIM TO LIVE WITH ME!!!! PLEASE!!!!

2007-09-24 17:46:23 · 14 answers · asked by Citrus 2 in Family & Relationships Family

14 answers

I FEEL YOUR PAIN, SO SORRY YOU ARE GOING THRU THIS . IT WILL BE HARD ON YOU AND THE WHOLE FAMILY, BUT YOU MUST REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE, IF NECCESSARY EVEN PRESS CHARGES YOUR SELF, FOR THE ABUSE YOU EXPERIENCED, THAT WAY THE STATE WILL HAVE TO INVESTIGATE. SADLY YOUR MOTHER MUST BE A VERY WEAK WOMAN, OR THE YEARS HAVE TAKEN THERE TOLL ON HER, HELP YOUR BROTHER BY INFORMING EVERY AGENCY YOU CAN.I WOULD START BY LOOKING UP ABUSE HOT LINE ON YOUR COMPUTER, STAY STRONG!!!! YOUR BROTHER NEEDS THAT. AND I PRAY YOUR LIFE AND HIS WILL SOON BE BETTER!!

2007-09-24 17:59:43 · answer #1 · answered by mother of 4! 5 · 0 0

You need to find a way if possible to get some money ahead to get him with you. Would your mom let him live with you or another relative? It sounds like your mom has a few problems also, she allows someone to treat her child like this? Why is she still there. Maybe you should talk to your mom about why she is allowing this to happen. Have your brother talk to a school counselor, that would be the first step towards getting out.
I wish you the best of luck. If all else fails call Health and Welfare and get someone to intercept and get your brother some help. If he abuses your mom thats her fault she is an adult and can leave. Your brother thats a different story, do what ever you can to get him out of there.

2007-09-24 17:55:17 · answer #2 · answered by Kathleen N 2 · 0 0

Do you have any other family you can approach? Dad, grandparents, aunts, etc? Maybe one of them can help by taking in your brother. You must try talking to your mother and telling her that it is not a healthy relationship for her to be in ... she needs to know how this is affecting both of her children. You can always call the kids help line as well. If speaking to your mother doesn't help and there are no other relatives around you will have to get social services involved. Your mother also needs to realize what can/will happen once your bro is out ... will your step father then turn his abusive behaviour on her ... Bottomline is your brother needs to come out of the unhealthy place.

2007-09-24 17:53:22 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0 0

call a domestic violence hotline from a pay phone (to stay anonymous) and ask for their advice and get them to talk with you...if the person is not helpful, call back at a different time to get someone who is more helpful as some of them are better than others..the middle of the night they have more time to talk sometimes.

Be aware that professionals like counselors and teachers are required by law to report child abuse.

Call a crisis line or teen line and ask for advise. Discuss with your brother if he could take living in foster home perhaps. Even if you could afford to take him, legally you probably would not be able to. Discuss this with a trusted relative perhaps. Your mother needs to know that if he is abusing her, her sons may likely grow up to be abusers and her daughters victims.

He needs to have access to teen/crisis hotlines to talk when upset but I am not certain if they can read blocked numbers.

If you feel he can live with being in foster care, then you should tell a school teacher, principle, or nurse or someone like that as they will be forced to report it or jeopardize their job. Sadly, sometimes though foster home is worst.

Sorry I couldn't be more help..perhaps some goggling to get advise would be of help or maybe calling a pastor (but they may have to report it too).

I am so sorry for your difficult dilemma and that I could not offer more help.

2007-09-24 17:59:50 · answer #4 · answered by janie 7 · 2 0

What about other relatives or grandparents for him to stay with. Your mother is as bad as her husband for letting this take place...That is why people should not re-marry until the kids are out of the house....

2007-09-24 17:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0 0

I feel you may want to see a state social worker to get your brother out. ASAP. My eldest sister sent my cousin to come for me and now when I think about it, I am going to send her a thank-you letter, years after the fact. She left the house early to avoid more abuse.
I believe the mothers who allow these things are afraid and repeat victims from childhood into marriage. They do not mean to sacrifice their children, but they do.

2007-09-24 18:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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2016-04-21 12:49:47 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

in case you have no longer have been given extremely undesirable bruises, cuts, bleeding, or severe injuries - bones breaking - then i'm no longer able to evaluate it abuse. extreme hitting that could reason distinctive minor injuries (like small bruises) to characteristic up, may be seen abuse for me. psychological trauma can be pronounced as for as abuse, even nonetheless that is not project-free to instruct. ------------------------------- some stuff i chanced on on line for you: "...there are 2 frequently familiar styles of definitional standards that is used to specify what's meant by utilising actual abuse. the 1st is the wear and tear ordinary, which considers habit as abusive on condition that it leads to demonstrable harm or injuries. Demonstrable harm could propose bruises, abrasions, cuts, burns, fractures, bites, or any of various different injuries. the 2nd definitional ordinary for actual abuse is that of endangerment. below this ordinary, actual attack by utilising a parent or caregiver that provides a significant threat of exact harm is seen abuse. Behaviors that is seen abusive below this ordinary comprise hitting a baby with a no longer project-free tool or with closed fists, burning, scalding, poisoning, suffocating, drowning, kicking, shaking, choking, and stabbing. inspite of the reality that those movements won't effect in observable injuries including bruises or cuts, they're nonetheless seen abusive below an endangerment ordinary. " -------------------- stable success.

2016-10-19 21:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

talk to both ur mom and step dad first, tell em it has got to stop..if it gets worse then make a report with child services/welfare department...state that the stepdad is abusive to ur brother...

2007-09-24 17:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sony 4 · 0 0

Call DHS and tell them about the abuse. Charges will be filed against your stepdad.

2007-09-24 17:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by Peanut 3 · 0 0

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