I am 20 years old, i have two kids ages 3 and 10 months. I really do not feel that I want any more children I love the fact that I had a boy then a girl and I get to spoil them individually. I've got plans to go to school and buy a house open my own beauty salon a few years from now. I really dont see where I'd even want to have another baby in the middle of this. Dont get me wrong I love having my kids, but two is plenty in a world that costs this much & requires so much work to make money to survive. Are there men that want to be with someone who has kids & wants no more or should I possibly keep my thoughts open to having another child to satisfy a future husband's want for one "of his own"?
I dont know of anyone thats ever been in this situation.
Thanks!
2007-09-24 17:45:00 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I deffinatly do not play on getting my tubes tied until after I am married, I do need to keep my options open, for sure, i'd hate to make that mistake and want another baby in 3 years.
2007-09-24 17:53:32 · update #1
Yes, there are men out there.
2007-09-24 23:10:01 · answer #1 · answered by Widgi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had both of my children when I was young like you to. It can be a wonderful thing to have kids young. You have life goals set and you can retire- and enjoy life- way before others that are still raising their kids! (Added bonus)
As for adding a man in there... think about it. Do you really want a man that does not accept your kids as part of the package? No way! And as for having more.... Just worry about crossing that bridge when you get there.
Once you are in a serious relationship with your future hubby he may agree with you once he sees how much work, and money they take. On the other hand you may realize with an extra helping hand around the house and the extra income coming in that it would be fun to have a little one together!
Good luck- It looks like you have a great head on your shoulders!
2007-09-25 02:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by think about that~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 kids at 20 a man may accept but asking him to accept your choice not to have more is a bit controlling. The only men that you many get to accept that are the 50 yr old geezers/ Not the 20-25year old hotties you want. I would focus on your goals for now. You have a lot you want to do and many men will nor be willing to put you thru school, buy you a house and take care of your kids and trust me un less you are indepently wealthy, you are going to require financial help for all that If I were that man I would want a pre nup.
2007-09-25 00:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by littlerascal711 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its possible to find a man that will accept your kids and not want one of his own but in the future you may change your mind because plenty of women have had kids young and then they find a new man when their kids have gotten older and desired to have a baby with their new man i guess to feel more connected especially if they got married. you should probably give it more thought im sure your future man could help you out with the finances that the child would bring you. 20 is still VERY young, you never know how you will feel in the future so you shouldnt even worry about it right now.
2007-09-25 00:52:23 · answer #4 · answered by So Confused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy~~~just find yourself a man that already has kids. Then he wouldn't ask you to have anymore kid with him.
Having two kids at your age is extremely difficult with full of responsibility and hard work. Truly admired your dreams and dedication to making your future better.
Your feeling is very understandable, because your children are still very young and you yourself is also very young as well. Therefore, the feeling of having another child is not really a good idea at this point.
However, as you get older and find yourself in a more mature and stable relationship--it is very selfish of you to think or to expect that from your significant other. Especially if he has never have any children of his own.
Please understand that having to find someone that is willing to accept your kids is hard enough as it is, left alone asking him to not want any of his own.
From my own experience, my bf already has 2 kids from his previous relationship (a boy, a girl). However, he would never once dared to mention me giving up the idea of having children of my own. Simply because that is my rights. His kids are his kids and our kids is another diff thing.
Please think about this very carefully. Anyone that told you they are ok with the idea is simply lying to you. No one could be ok with that, unless of course he already has kids of his own.
2007-09-25 00:59:25 · answer #5 · answered by VHE123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is someone for everyone. That's what makes the world go round. There's a guy out there who will love your kids like his own. My stepfather did that for my sister, my brother and I. He was an only child and had only my mom and us. He was very grateful to have us as we were him.
2007-09-25 00:51:48 · answer #6 · answered by giselehere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, darling, there is such a man - but I'm already married to a woman who had two lovely children and chose not to have more.
We raised her two together and there's not a bit of regret on either of our parts. Um - that does not mean we don't have a healthy and vigorous sex life...
2007-09-25 00:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are men like that out there, but definetly dont lie about your intentions to trap a guy - that is just horrible!! Also what about the possiblity of finding a guy who maybe has a kid or two of his own??
Like i say though, don't trick a guy into being with you if he really wants his own kids and you arent prepared to deliver - A good relationship never started with lies like that!!
2007-09-25 00:53:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dead Red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any things is possible,but you are quite young and know you
may feel that way but you may find that when you find that
special person that you truly love then you might want to
have his child. and some men will be good to someone else
children but they wont there own as well.
2007-09-25 00:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ah .. well i don't think you should go and have your tubes tide like tomorrow ... justin case you find someone that you may later want to have kids with ... and a real man won't mind if you have kids and don't want more ... but keep your options open
2007-09-25 00:50:43 · answer #10 · answered by meenie_is_sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it wouldn't bother me one bit if you didn't want any more.....i had 2 by the time i was 20 and now can't see having any more....i got myself fixed just to be sure....there is such a thing as too much of a good thing lol......any man that you're with should respect your decision not to have any more.....if he can't, then you don't need him
2007-09-25 00:52:23 · answer #11 · answered by #1 bossman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋