I have a different view on weddings see ? below?

Question

In my past posts I felt that weddings were very expensive and over the top but I think why God and people celebrate weddings is to introduce the couple into the threshold of husband and wife.

The wedding is for one day the marriage is for the rest of your life. Marraige is hard and how you feel at the altar is not how a person feels 10 years into the relationship feeling taking for granted and not appreciate I have been there

Being I said all this do you view weddings as a party, a sacred ceremony, or a spirirtual connection bewteen the couple and God? Do you regret having or not having a wedding?

Answer 1

The wedding is a commitment. The reception is a party. I dont regret either! It was the best day of my life.
The wedding is for one day, but its the start of a long journey of marriage. No one expects things to be the same 10 years later, and frankly if they were I might get bored! Im going to change. So is my husband. Thats why its a commitment to stick together through the changes that lie ahead. I think if both people make up their minds to view these changes as positive, instead of as challenges, there is no limit to what they can do.

Answer 2

The wedding day itself is all about the actual marriage service, the bit where you say your vows, that part to me was the most special and important part of my wedding day. I am not religious so God has no baring on my marriage, the ceremony was about my hubby and I committing publicly and legally to each other. The reception after is a celebration time, time to have some fun with your friends and family and celebrate the new union. i agree that some people put way too much emphasis on the day itself and they forget that the hard work starts on that day. Having a nice wedding/wedding of your dreams is all well and good if you have the funds to pay for it, but the wedding day itself should not be the main reason or focus of getting married.

Answer 3

I have to respectfully say that I think you are confusing the exchaning of the vows (i.e. sacrement of marriage) with the actual wedding celebration.

There is NOTHING in Bible that forbids an all out wedding celebration. Jesus himself turned water into wine at such an event. And that is why Jesus and I get along juust fine. ;)

There is no reason why one must have to choose. I see a (religious) marriage as all 3:

-A "party"
-A "sacred ceremony"
-A "spiritual bond"

That said, really only the last one is really what marriage is about. The other 2 are supportive events.

I personally KNOW that marriage will be hard, and KNOW that a wedding is only a one day celebration. I am Catholic and take my vows very seriously. But I am also a person with fun ideas and creativity, and want to have a wedding celebration to reflect that. I see no problem with enjoying my big day and going all out. People generally celebrate weddings as bringing together families, friends, and of course, the new couple as one.

I would be happy even if I did NOT have a wedding. In fact, I would have prefered a destination wedding with only the priest and us. For me, God and ourselves is all we need for our marriage. But others want to be surrounded by friends and family too. My fiance wanted a big wedding, and I am doing it for him. I am going all out, because I say go hard or go home! I might as well have a wedding to remember!

I don't know if I'll regret the full out wedding because I haven't done it yet. Regardless, it really won't matter, because I will be married to the man God has chosen for me.

If you have not had/had a wedding and regret it, don't. It still worked out, and you ARE married. Right? And that's all that matters!

If you are religious, do not be ashamed to enjoy your big day. The Bible does NOT outlaw fun, contrary to popular belief. ;) Now, if you are spending an arm and a leg, please at the very least donate to a charity on behalf of your guests (we are). Being selfish has no excuse, even if it is your wedding day.

Answer 4

regardless of how a couple chooses to celebrate (or not) their union - the actual act of conducting a marriage ceremony is their wedding. The reception etc is all just extra & having a big party doesn't make you any more married than just having the the couple & their witnesses.
Those who talk about getting married quietly & then having another ceremony at a later date are still married & the follow up is just a renewal of their vows.
I agree that the ""wedding "" is just 1 day ( really only a matter of hours ) in your life & the "" marriage"" is meant to be a life time. Also too many people get caught up in planning ""the wedding"" & give little thought to "" the marriage"" .
When I married we had just immediate family - siblings & partners, parents & my best friend in attendance ( 15 people in total)
we had the ceremony at the court house followed by a picnic lunch in a botanical gardens & I have NEVER had any regrets about my choice

Answer 5

Well for me I have always viewed weddings as a joining of two lives in a deeper and more emotionally enriching relationship with God and between both the man and the woman. I mean sure its nice to celebrate a wedding true. But I say it doesn't always need to be lavishly done either like most people have theirs. After all some women if they are honest with themselves, know they aren't a princess and some dudes as well know they aren't always going to have this much drinking in one place again, lol. So I say planning a smaller more appropriate wedding is better and gets back to the true values of what that one special day is all about. As for not having a wedding. I'm still young yet and wish I will have a lovely wedding one day. But I will only get married if its the right time with the right person and its right for the both of us. I'm not after pushing any guy into something he doesn't wish to do.

Answer 6

I agree that most weddings are too expensive, too over the top and are not in line with what they are a celebration of marriage and commitment of a couple.

For a long time I did not see the sense in getting married for the above reasons. I was engaged at one stage but that was more due to society pressure than because I wanted to be.
Now that I have met the love of my life I feel different I want to marry this man. I want the world to know that we are together in a loving relationship. In my heart we already are.

If and when we get married it will be small No lavish wedding for me. I want the wedding to be about us not our guests.
For me it is a ceremony that says yes I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. Voicing that what my heart already knows.

My grandparents go married with just the two witnesses that are required at town hall No family present (during WWII) My parents got married (after 31 years) with just the kids and grandkids there. The rest of friends and family were told after the wedding. I like both concepts

Answer 7

It's different for everyone and life is what you make it.

If you decide to stay in a relationship where you're not happy - your a big grown up and can make your own mind up on that.

Some people view getting married as a celebration. If you're religious then you view it as a blessing from God. If you're not religious then you will see it as a getting together of your closest family and friends to celebrant and to have form and ritual in your lives. Some people view marriage as a contract. In some cultures marriage is still viewed as a business venutre between two families.

You shouldn't make vows that you can't or won't keep - sounds like you need to make decisions in your life and work out if you should stay or if you should call it a day. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage from within to change your life and those around you.

Everyone is different and their choices in life aren't always going to work for you. Perhaps you have someone you can talk this through with and perhaps you need to initiate change for your family.

Whatever you choose to do - good luck!

Answer 8

I view weddings first and foremost as a sacred ceremony including the bond between the couple and God, then a celebration. At my wedding, while it was fairly expensive and there was a party afterward, standing at the altar with my husband to be, the only thing running through my mind was the bond and love between him, myself, and God.

Answer 9

I see it as both. The ceremony is the time to be reflect on what is going on and to take a commitment and vow. It is you committing in front of your friend, family and (if you are religious) God.

After all of that.........it's time to celebrate. Weddings are happy times and happy times call for a party. I think it's possible to have a huge expensive wedding and STILL have a GREAT marriage. To each is there own. If you got it, then spend it.

Answer 10

I agree, they are way expensive. I view weddings as all of those. A wedding is a celebration to unite all of the family to come and enjoy the future happiness (we all hope) of the bride and groom. Most of the time its a sacred thing and sometimes its just for fun. I don't really see it as much of a spiritual connection but hey who knows, there might be others that do.