I told my boyfriend i needed some time w/out contact from him for a day or two. Now he won't answer his phone.

Question

We had been dating and in a relationship for almost 2 mo. Ever since my boyfriend and I had finally had sex a week ago, since I was a virgin, now he acts very distant, even though he claims he hasn't noticed any odd behavior from him. I had been seeing him a lot for the past 4-5 days, I thought we might need some time from eachother to breathe. He kept asking to when he can call me, I turned him down, thinking I was gonna be too busy. I gave in tonight trying to call him but he won't answer his phone as I tried calling 4 times or respond to any of my text messages. We love each other, but I worry he might love being with his friends more than with me. He doesn't show too much affection or try to romance me, even though I do and show so many sincere and loving gestures. A mutual friend of ours had just told a friend of mine that I had called my boyfriend all day, a few hours after I had already tried to call my bf. What does all this mean? Is he trying to prove something? Or is it over

Correction: The mutual friend had told my friend that I had not called my bf all day, when in fact I did. I later on ran into this mutual friend and he told me the same thing, saying how they did not hear the cell phone ring at all. Because I had to work a midnight shift and had to leave for work, the friend said he would tell my bf to call me. However, he never once called me and his cell phone is either dead or he turned it off. I am getting so frustrated with all this. Worse, is that we were supposed to go see a concert that is happening the day after all this happened. But I don't know if we are still going together. I honestly care more about seeing/talking to him than I do seeing a known band play. Please I need some advice and opinions.

Answer 1

I have some possible advice. No matter what goes on in this World, believe it or not, Men of all ages like to do the "chasing". You were on the right track with your feeling the need that the two of you required some time/space from each other. (ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR INNER VOICE, YOUR INSTINCTS, WHATEVER IT IS THAT GIVES YOU AN INNER THOUGHT, OR FEELING.) When I was very young, I made the mistake of always being "available". When my BF @ the time (I FELT IN MY HEART THAT WE WERE IN LOVE AND HAD A SPECIAL CONNECTION/BOND) called me, I dropped everything and everyone (including my own Family) in order to be with him. I also was a Virgin and I gave away that Precious and Special part of my Self as a Gift to him. To me, after the Gift was unwrapped and opened, it seemed as if my BF did not appreciate, nor cherish what I so Lovingly offered to him. I thought the Sharing of our Souls, Minds and Bodies would change my Life in a Special way. I felt far from special. Actually, I felt abandoned by him in some way. I do not know why it is that Men do not communicate with us Women when we need to know, see and feel that we are still in their Thoughts and Hearts. (The only thing that I can think of is that they feel guilty in some way for taking away that Special part of us that we will never be able to find or have back. I believe they tend to try and separate everything in their Minds, which also spills over into their Hearts, their Actions, etc...) I'm not MAN-Bashing here. I believe there is that one (1) Special Someone out there for each and every one (1) of us. Our Universal Soul Mates, our Life/Love Partners. I know now that I should've waited. Not just for when I was to be married, not just for that special person, (I THOUGHT HE WAS THAT SPECIAL PERSON) but I should've waited for ME! I was not emotionally, psychologically, nor mentally ready to give away that part of myself that I can never find, or get back again. I sometimes believe/feel that Men in general do not understand the "giving up" and/or the "giving over" of ourselves in that precious, intimate and physical way. Once a Woman is with a Man that she feels is Special, she wants to give of herself "literally". It's almost as if we give ourselves entirely over to that person in such a vulnerable way that it scares Men away for a while. Be patient, let him seek you out. I know, believe me I know that you need some sort of reassurance (WE ALL DO!) after giving up and letting go totally of yourself in that Special, Emotional and Private way. It is a Wonderous Thing. So many young people of today and Adults also, give themselves away and the idea of being intimate with others so quickly, that it is saddening. It seems as though in Today's Society, that by giving up of one's Body to another intimately that this is the only way for all of us to be/get closer and/or connected to another human being. It is for such a short while, this closeness, this connection. As if the Human Psyche is unconsciously groping, grasping, screaming out for Human contact, touch, a way in which to "belong", to fit in. We are not alone. We may look different, but all of our Blood runs RED. Give it time. If he doesn't come back to you, if he doesn't commit to you, let him go. By holding onto him and keeping him with you, you and he will eventually be miserable. Remember that tried and true saying, "If You Love Something/Someone, Let It/Let Them Go, If It/They Come Back To You, It Is/They Are Yours, If It/They Do Not Then It/They Were Never Yours To Begin With". I know your Heart will Ache, Like all of our Hearts do. Toughen Up, Hang In There. Next time, (If You Want There To Be A Next Time) DO NOT BE SO QUICK TO GIVE AWAY OF YOURSELF TO SOMEONE ELSE. If they push you into trying to give away another part of yourself, one day, you'll look in the mirror and there won't be anything left for YOU!!!!!!!!! Much Love and Blessings! XO

Answer 2

Well, girlfriend, you just told him to give you space, and now you want to talk? That doesn't make a lot of sense. Is this relationship all about what you want when you want it?

Perhaps he was only after sex, and now he is done. OR, he freaked out after you did it because everything seemed so serious, and instead of talking to you about it, he clammed up. Or perhaps you were also acting distant?

It sounds to me like you two are not good at communicating. You are going to have to wait this out, but you both sound too immature to be having sex.

Answer 3

You need to locate him, and face to face inquire as to whatis going on,... remember the relationship must come before each other and the each of you must put the other before the self,.. selfless, unconditional,.. also depending on your ages he could be simply afraid or simply an asshole oops sorry then again you could be ,.anyway,... there is always a chalk up to bad experience and then move on.