Should we start looking for a new Nanny for our daughter?

Question

A Little background: I'm a senior in high school & my fiance is a freshman in college, so we are both gone during the days. My parents recently put us into our own home & said they'd continue to support us until we're both done with college. We have a Nanny for our year old daughter who comes in around 8am and stays until 5. I was recently home sick for a few days, and still had her come in because I was told to get plenty of rest. I created a general schedule for our nanny to follow that I gave to her the day she started in our home, as to when my daughter usually naps, eats, plays... etc. I asked her to follow it generally, it didn't have to be completely strict, but when I was home I observed she failed to do so. I talked to her about it, and she told me she felt that no child should be on a schedule of any kind. I felt this was completely rude, and that she should still respect my wishes since I am the mom, and besides when she doesn't follow it, it throws off our daily routine.

Answer 1

Absolutely. You are the employer and the mother of the child! You established rules and gave her some flexibility, yet she is not respecting them. Her position as nanny is to follow your wishes of child care, not her own opinion. Granted, there are different styles and thoughts expressed concerning child rearing, but this is not the situation where she gets to wholly decide. Input and suggestions based on experience is one thing, but I'm guessing there might be some level of animosity because of your age and that could be why she disrespected you that way. If that is the case, I would not want someone like that around my child either. Her wishes/opinions here on this specific matter are actually creating a chaotic environment for the family. Not that you have to justify yourself against her opinion, but because both of you as parents are going to school and on to professional lives, it is in fact crucial to establish routines and schedules. You family lifestyle almost relies on it for simple, healthy stability. Her actions sound like they will just disrupt familial harmony. In fact, many child issues are often resolved by some sort of routine or schedule. If this nanny doesn't grasp any of those basic concepts, she needs to go. I wish you and your family the best.

Answer 2

I am A childcare worker at a very large daycare. I have been there eight years and i work with the infants and toddlers.I really do understand that you wrote out a schedule for the nanny to follow. The only thing with that is at this age it is sometimes hard to have a set schedule for everything.I have had many parents in the past that have tried to do this and it usually doesn't work.I think if this is the only problem with her you need to let it go a little.If your daughter loves her and she loves your daughter and she is having fun and being well taking care of, I would just leave it.I would also talk to the nanny again and tell her that you have written this down and you understand sometimes it wont work that way.I would also tell her though that please try if it doesn't work that day then it doesn't.I guess i would look at the whole picture and say is this the only thing that you don't like or is it more. If other things are bothering you about her then it might be time for a new nanny.If not though try to work something out. I am sure your daughter is used to her and another nanny would take some getting used to for her and you I am sure you will make the right choice for you and your family.GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

Some times older people do not have respect for younger moms. I remember from when I had my first son. With this nanny, and some times others down the line, you may have to prove your self. Be confident, and reflect that your parenting decisions are in your daughters best interest. Keep educated about different parenting options. Your pediatrition can be a great resource of advice also.
As for your nanny, explain to her why you want your daughter on a schedule. Use info to explain such as "my pediatrition recomends" or "I have read that...". Also, remind her that you pay her to work for you, she is your employee, not your boss. If it still doesnt work out, don't feel bad about replacing her.

Answer 4

While it's true that schedules need to be slightly flexible for children, they still need some type of schedule. I have been a nanny and mother for over 7 years and have always kept the children in my care on schedules. I have never had a problem with parents not wanting their children on schedules so it always works out.
To blatantly refuse to do what you have asked of her means that the nanny is not the one for you. If she had concerns about a schedule then she should have told you in the beginning of her employment. My biggest concern would be that she is not only not following your schedule, but that she is not following your other rules also.
I would start interviewing nannies now...you don't happen to live in Cincinnati do you=)

Answer 5

If you even have to ask this question, you should probably get a new nanny. If she doesn't believe that your child shouldn't be on a schedule, tell her you don't believe that you'll be needing her services any longer, because you are the parent and have every right to expect that your rules and routines will be put in place when you are not there to do so... that IS her job.

Answer 6

If she's not going to respect your wishes on things like that, then yes it's time for a new nanny. I don't really enjoy structured schedules as well, but it's not part of my job to follow another mother's guidlines. You pay her, this is not an unreasonable request, thus she should have followed it. Talk to her and tell her that you understand she doesn't have the same feeligns towards it as you, but you are her employer and the schedule itself is not unreasonable and that you want her to follow it, and if she feels she can't then she should find other employment.

Answer 7

I am so sorry to be hearing this. All the red flags are up and screaming out. Is there no way you can go to court and request that a child psychiatrist spend some time with you, the mother and your daughter just to check on your daughters mental state. They are trained to spot tell-tale signs of inappropriate behaviour and you can use this for your custody battle if need be. It also sounds as if your ex was abused and possibly her brother as well. Sometimes it's a vicious cycle and will continue throughout parent-child relationships for generations. I sincerely wish from the bottom of my heart that you get this sorted out soon.

Answer 8

I would give her a warning. I would say I would give another chance but I would like you to follow the schedule that you give her. If you still notice she not doing it. Then I would look for another nanny. The nanny should know that her job to follow want the parents says.

Answer 9

I would either talk to her again and let her know this is my daughter, and this is how I want things done, or start interviewing. I would suggest enannysource.com to look for a nanny. There is a free membership, but its worth it to pay the 30 or 40 bucks to get all the info. Just see what the free brings you first, then pay.

Answer 10

Yes, You are the employer and your employee should follow the rules. You should use a bonded company to find a new nanny. Then you have someone responsible for the nanny's behavior.