For me it's "be fruitful and multiply"
2007-09-24 14:05:45 · 22 answers · asked by fiddle_stick 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
The one about a man getting into a fight with another man, and then his wife coming out and grabbing him by the privates. That just busts me up. I'll have to find the exact quote.
Edit-Here it is: Deut 25:11
When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:
Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.
ROTFLMAO--*What* would even make them *think* to WRITE that? Did they have such a problem with this happening in that time that they needed to actually include it as a rule in their BIBLE? I just can't get over that. It's hilarious!
(Midnight211--That is a funny one, too!)
2007-09-24 14:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jess H 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Genesis 38:9-10: "Onan knew that the offspring does no longer be his; so whilst he went in to his brother's spouse, he wasted his seed on the floor with a view to no longer provide offspring to his brother. yet what he did became displeasing interior the sight of the Lord; so He took his existence additionally." So yeah. a guy pulled out, so have been given killed, cos God did no longer like him getting his load everywhere in the floor. OR Deuteronomy 25:11-12. "If 2 adult males, a guy and his countryman, are suffering jointly, and the spouse of one comes on the breaking point of furnish her husband from the hand of the only which is amazing him, and places out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you definitely shall shrink off her hand; you shall no longer coach pity." Cos a woman could relatively try this ...... we'd in basic terms knee him.
2016-10-09 19:12:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paul preached so long that a guy fell asleep and took a tumble out of a window.... and I thought my Pastor preached long sermons. hahahaha
Act 20:7 ¶ And upon the first [day] of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.
Act 20:8 And there were many lights in the upper chamber, where they were gathered together.
Act 20:9 And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead.
Act 20:10 And Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing [him] said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him.
2007-09-24 14:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by tas211 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I can't believe nobody mentioned my favorite yet.
"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria." - 2 Kings 2:22-25
2007-09-25 11:17:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Proverbs 5:17,18
2007-09-24 14:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by Reshonda P 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is what happens to a man if his brother dies and he refuses to marry his brother's widow. (Deut. 25:7-10)
"Then the elders of his city shall call him, and speak unto him: and if he stand to it, and say, I like not to take her; Then shall his brother's wife come unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done unto that man that will not build up his brother's house. And his name shall be called in Israel, The house of him that hath his shoe loosed."
Gotta love those crazy old testament traditions!
2007-09-25 11:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Any line referring to "trumpets" can be made more humorous by changing the word to "strumpets," particularly Revelation 8:6.
And from Song of Solomon, this verse:
"Your teeth are like a flock of ewes, that have come up from the washing, all of them bear twins, not one among them is bereaved." (6:6)
^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^
2007-09-24 14:14:34 · answer #7 · answered by NHBaritone 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Revelation 14:2 - "And I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps" (KJV)
2007-09-24 14:53:22 · answer #8 · answered by Scumspawn 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Job 38:2 Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?
(God said that people shouldn't speak without knowing what they're talking about) Wouldn't THAT be a better world?
Heck, there might even be silence occasionally in Congress.
2007-09-24 14:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
John 1:1
"In the beginning was the Word"
Didn't letters need to come before words?
2007-09-24 14:14:06 · answer #10 · answered by ideogenetic 7 · 7⤊ 2⤋