i go to a prep school with an average of 3 and a half hours of home work a night?

Question

how can i convince my parents that by adding an hour of trumpet practice which i hate is too much work


thats nine and a half hours of work daily


plus they want meto take hour long lessons on tuesday and thursday plus practice again making it ten hours those days

ps im a freshman and 14

ya i have tried telling them i dont like it and that it leaves me with only one hour sometimes half an hour at night for me to enjoy life

Answer 1

It unfortunately sounds like you have overachieving/overworked parents, or at the very least, parents who are trying to overachieve through you. You'll have to go about it from a different angle instead of just saying you don't like it.

Being overworked will eventually lead to a high level of stress which can carry with it all kinds of problems: poor academic achievement, poor self-concept, a host of physical health problems (increased susceptibility to colds, flus, ulcers, etc.). Let them know how overwhelmed/stressed you are getting at the idea of spending so much time on these things, that you'd like to be able to focus just on your studies since you're not planning on becoming a professional trumpet player. Share with them supporting literature--your school guidance counsellor may have pamphlets or something, or even a doctor's office. There is also stuff available online, like:

http://library.thinkquest.org/13561/english/prevent.html
http://library.thinkquest.org/13561/english/
http://www.rense.com/health3/teenstress_h.htm (especially good article on how American parents too often expect their kids to excel in more than one area)
http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/psychology/stress/anxiety-in-children.asp (check out especially in the section Student Life about over scheduling)

Specifically on the problems with over scheduling:
http://family.go.com/parentpedia/preteen-teen/behavior/teen-over-achievement-over-scheduling/
http://www.theparentreport.com/resources/ages/early_school/development/575.html
http://www.med.umich.edu/health-e_news/sep2005/mentalhealth.html

You might also try the tactic of asking to talk with them, tell them you are feeling stressed by it all and you'd like to understand why it's so important to *them* that you do all of this. Don't ask them to change anything and if they get focused on that and do the whole, "You're not going to drop trumpet, etc." you just reply, "I didn't ask to drop. I'm telling you that I'm feeling really stressed with having so much in my schedule and just want to understand why this is so important to you." Taking a step towards understanding can open parents up a lot to being able to see their children's point of view. Do make sure to focus on your feelings when talking about yourself and not your desires. "I feel overwhelmed." "I feel stressed. There just seems to be so much to do." etc.

Good luck. You may have parents who are unwilling to bend, which will be a shame, because I really don't agree with what they're doing and think in the long run, it'll do you more harm than good. However, if you find yourself still stuck in the situation, you'll have to focus on making the best of it, even if all it means is that in a few years you won't have to do trumpet anymore.

Answer 2

I understand your pain completely. When I was about your age, my parents continually tried to get me to learn to play the piano. I had no interest in this, and after several uneventful lessons, I eventually convinced them to let me quit. Remember that your parents only want the best for you, but sometimes they demand too much without realizing it. In the end, your studies are much more important. I am a sophomore in college now and making straight A's. I have never regretted not learning to play the piano; however, I would have regretted not having time to devote to what was really important such as my studies, my family, and my friends. Besides, if learning to play the trumpet is something you eventually want to do, the door of opportunity is never closed only postponed.

Answer 3

Fake a nervous breakdown. Call a Child Protection Agency or a suicide hotline and tell them you need to see a shrink because life seems too overwhelming for you. Once the "Authorities" get involved, maybe your parents will gain some understanding

Answer 4

Tell them that if you are forced to practice the trumpet that much, you will burn out, which will lead to bad grades in school. But if they let you opt out of trumpet, you will be able to give 100% effort to your homework, which is more important.

Answer 5

wow thats nuts u should tell ur parents that u have to much work already and u are only 14 and need to have a teen life and get to hang with friends instead of doin work allday i was on like da same schedual as u and it was all to confusing. so i droped out on all the things that wornt that inportant to me like piano lessons and i could stay more focused on my hw and friends

Answer 6

Well, I would convince them that having a little bit of a social life can be just as educating as all the boring useless stuff they have you doing.

Answer 7

I think you should be honest and tell them youhate it and don't want to do trumpet and that it will take away from the time you need to do good in school and succeed.