My dad is dating...?

Question

Ok so my mom died when I was 10 (4 yrs ago) and she and my dad were NOT divorced they were happily married for 15 years. On Saturday night I got home from babysitting and 10:30 and my dad walked into my room and said he went on a date that night. First one since my mom died. He had gone out to dinner with some lady he used to work with. I DID NOT LIKE THIS ONE BIT!!!! I mean, I don't want him to die alone or anything I'm fine with him dating but... I just don't like it. My brother's friends dad jokingly said that he's not allowed to go to dinner and a movie until I'm allowed to go out to dinner and a movie =). Why do I feel this way (besides that she's replacing my mom) and what can I do to make myself feel ok?!!!

Answer 1

Just remember that your father is NOT trying to replace your mother. He loved her for 15 years and still LOVES her and always will. But as time goes on he needs to move on too. It is not disrespectful to your mother that he is dating....she would probably want him to date, she would want him to find love and happiness again, don't you think? Try to think of it that way, that he deserves love and happiness again, and it is totally normal and ok. The woman that he dates will never be your mother, will never replace your mother, and I am sure that is not what your father had in mind. Try voicing your concerns to him too, that will clear up a lot I bet. Good Luck.

Answer 2

First things first.... She will never replace you mom EVER. If whatever happened never happened they would still be together but unfortunately something did happen. Look I don't mean to be disrespectful but your dad has been lonely as a man and a husband for four long years. He has felt the pain, expreienced the pain and accepted the pain. Only now he can truly find happiness. Never doubt that you will be forgotten because he stil loves your mom and every time he looks at you he remembers how she felt and looked and smelt and its all because of YOU. You need to allow your dad some room to move because you will be out doing your own thiing in a couple of years and he will be left all alone. Tell your dad how you feel - this is obviously important to him as he took the time out to discuss and talk about the date in an adult manner - he is a great man!

Answer 3

Sweetheart your 14 and feeling the way you are suppose to be. You lost your mum(& I'm sorry for that) at a very young age and your dad has been your life line ever since. He obviously loves you a great deal because he has brought you up very well. Your dad will not love you any less if he goes on a few dates. If by chance he should meet some one a little special, then I very much doubt he will bring her into your life to take the place of your mother. Look at it this way, you're 14 and nearly a young woman. When you start dating are you expecting you dad to feel the way you are? I think not. It's a two way street, who knows this might even be fun for the two of you. You could sit and compare notes about dates..lol Good luck sweetee and don't be to hard on you dad remamber he loves you very much

Answer 4

For a long time its been just you and your Dad, and that's been OK with you. When your Dad told you he went on a date, you see the possibility of that changing, and change, at any age, can be a little scary. But change doesn't have to be a bad thing.
I know that you are conflicted - you want your Dad to be happy (and not die alone) but you don't want things between the two of you to change.
Think of it in the opposite way. What if your Dad never let you go out on dates, because he wanted to keep you at home with him? And you weren't allowed to go off to college, or on holidays, because he wanted you there? You wouldn't think that was very fair, would you?
Talk to your Dad, and let him know it makes you a little scared. But don't be mean to the woman he dates, he might like her, but you will always be Dad's girl.

Answer 5

Tell your dad that you don't really like her and if he asks why then give him a really good reason. Hopefully he will listen to you. And I have no idea how to make your self fell better about this. He obviously loved your mother and its not that he is trying to replace her he just at some point has to move. And four years is sort of a long time. But not a long time. And I'm sure that your mom was an amazing women and he probably knows that noone could take her place.

Answer 6

First of all, she's NOT replacing your mom. Your father doesn't think that way and neither does the woman. It's just a date honey. They're not engaged.

Secondly, it's been 4 years. Your dad is ready to start feeling like he could have a romantic relationship with someone. Try to understand that even though you don't like this...you need to give him a chance to have that in his life. He's not betraying your mother...in fact, I'd bet that your mom would WANT him to go on and be happy. It doesn't mean he loves her (or you) any less.

Answer 7

She's not trying to replace your mom. If you get that through your brain, you will be better about it. Secondly, I think part of the problem is that you don't want to share your dad with anybody.

My comments are from the side of the woman dating your dad. I dated two men who were widowers and both times, had nothing but antagonism from the daughter. Ultimately, I ended both relationships because neither could see how they were being manipulated. Hopefully, you won't do that to your Dad.

Answer 8

First of all, please realise that your feelings are perfectly normal. I'd probably feel the same way.

You say that you're fine with him dating, but you just don't like it. Do you have negative feelings about this particular woman, or is it the dating thing altogether? Either way, talk with your dad. Tell him how you feel. Together, the two of you should be able to find a compromise between him wanting to date and you feeling bad about it.

My sympathies on the loss of your mom. I can't imagine how much that hurt, especially with you being so young. God bless you and your family.

Answer 9

Count your blessings young lady. You are getting into womanhood now and maybe your dad feels you need a woman role model in your life. Believeme, youare about to have some real challenges and you could use an extra prayer partner. Be happy for your dad and try to be a part of what he is trying to do. He is taking a risk (probably for you) and he needs your cooperation. Don't feel left out. Be friendly and frienship will return to you. Call 1-800-759-0700 for prayer.

Answer 10

my dad is re-married ad expecting another child by his new wife as we speak. I was really upset about this bec i felt like nobody would ever be good enough for my dad like my mom...but then i realized he is happy now so i should be happy for him too. and plus it was just a date...he might not have even had a good time and im sure he probably felt bad about going to some degree so don't make him feel even worse bec when you get a little older you will see life totally different. I hope this helps.