These guys at work always make smart comments about gay people in front of me, I have the sneaking suspicion they think I am gay.
How can I politely tell them I am not?
2007-09-24 12:17:49 · 28 answers · asked by Spanking Santa 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Ok, lets say they are trying to make fun of you or whatever. You can either be pissed about it or run with it. Find something to make fun of about them. And if your no longer on the Haha just kidding around joking faze, just ignore it and work out till you can bench press them. I would recommend reading "Sun Tzu: The Art of War"
2007-09-24 12:24:46 · answer #1 · answered by Brian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd be more discreet about it. Say something along the lines of: I want to take my girlfriend out to a nice dinner for our anniversary, and I was wondering if you guys have any suggestions? OR, What should I buy my girlfriend for our anniversary, or her birthday? I'm sure you catch my drift.
The thing is, you don't have to say anything at all. But I have this distinct feeling it's really bothering you, so if you're going to say anything at all.....be subtle about it. Otherwise, you could end up regretting it later (especially since these are people you work with).
Plus, these are your suspicions we're talking about here. You don't know for a fact that they feel this way. So tread carefully and don't let your emotions get involved.
I know it's easier said than done, but I do think taking the high road is always the best route. You can't go wrong.
Good luck to you!
2007-09-24 14:35:01 · answer #2 · answered by milly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, if I thought someone was gay and then out of the blue they came up and said 'I am not gay', or started talking about a girlfriend I had never heard of before, I would think 'they are DEFINITELY gay'.
Personally, I cannot imagine what business it is of theirs whether you are gay or not, and why would you care or feel the need to explain yourself to them, BUT if you do, you do.
If you have a girlfriend, ask her to give you a call at work sometime when you are not there, and leave a message saying, "It's X, his girlfriend, I just wanted to tell him his mobile phone is still at my place from last night".
OR, if you are not gay and don't have a gf, just don't say anything. As time goes by they'll find out for themselves what you are like, and if they like you because you are gay or not gay says a lot about them, and nothing at all about you.
You could also say to one of them, one day, "I've noticed X is always making comments about gay people in front of me. Is he gay and trying to let me know, discreetly? I'm straight but not prejudiced and if he's gay that's cool with me".
Of course, that would depend on if they are the type who would react violently to being thought of as gay (e.g., bigots with small d!cks and probably big closets).
But really, it's none of their business and anything you say could get twisted.
If they are decent people, they won't make decisions about you until they know you. If they are idiots they've already decided.
The more important thing is, even more important than what do you think of them, is are you happy to be the person you are? If so, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone!
Cheers :-)
2007-09-24 13:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mmm, if you really want to be polite about it, just tell them you're not.
Personally, I'd tell them to eff off and stop being sucks *****. You can always ignore it too. If they keep making comments, just go up and ask them 'Why should it matter to you? Do you want to go out with me? Because I'm definately not your type.' =D People might think you came out of the closet, but who cares? People'll respect your kick-*** come back. ;D
Those guys are immature though and even if you were gay, why should it matter to them? Seriously, try the come back and tell me how it works. Good luck.
2007-09-24 12:22:26 · answer #4 · answered by shrubbery 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say it straight out (pun intended), "I have the sneaking suspicion you think I'm gay. I'm straight, but I don't think it's amusing to make disparaging comments about gay people."
2007-09-24 12:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do what I do when people at work make smart comments about heterosexuals in front of me (I think they think I'm straight).... I walk away.
I'm gay.
2007-09-24 13:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by stevemeister 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You know guys... I know what you're doing right now and I don't like it. I'm not gay. So why don't you just lay off before I..."
You can add in the rest. You could say "kick your ***." or "go to H.R." whatever you're comfortable with...
Have fun!
2007-09-24 12:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Telling them might make them feel like you have something to prove.....why try and prove you are not gay.
It just adds fuel to the fire. Just try not to think about it.
Good Luck.
2007-09-24 12:20:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are trying to annoy or harass you, then reacting to it will just make them do more. Just ignore it. Besides, how do you know what they say when you *aren't* around?
2007-09-24 12:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by conejito 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their is no polite way of telling them?! Just let them know straight up that your are NOT F***** GAY!!!!
2007-09-24 12:22:32 · answer #10 · answered by James H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋