Ok, I have a general question that I am really not sure about and need some help with.
I am looking at proposing to my girlfriend that I have been dating for the last 6 1/2 years. My question is, do I need to ask my girlfriends mom to help shop for the engagement ring? Sorry this might seem like a stupid question but I do want to be traditional about it.
Please only serious answers and please don't reply about how "its a mistake, don't do it" or anything along those lines.
Thanks
2007-09-24 11:28:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, bravo on taking the leap. About freakin' time! My boy has been waiting 3 years plus and I thought THAT was too long!
The others' answers are correct, it is untraditional to have your girl's mom help with the ring, but it is a lovely gesture to ask her parents' for her hand in marriage. While an old tradition, it remains incredibly sweet and her parents will get a charge out of it.
As for a ring, you could do one of two things. Buy a ring and hope for the best, I'm sure she'll love it, or give her a fake ring, like a cigar band, ask her, and ask her when as soon as she says "Yes", you can go to the jewelers and pick one out. If you do that, go to the jewelers in advance and let him know what your price range is, and have him put some rings in that range away for your visit. That way, money will not be an issue and she won't have her heart set on one you can't afford.
Congrats and good luck.
2007-09-24 12:47:09 · answer #1 · answered by Gr8estluv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure the only tradition involving the future in-laws is asking their permission to marry their daughter. You definately don't need to take your girlfriends mom ring shopping with you. If you're not sure about what ring to get her (and you don't want to ask her), you should definately ask someone that knows her taste to help you. You could also take her into a jewelry store on some other pretense, I'm sure she'll look at wedding rings at some point and that might give you an idea.
2007-09-24 11:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs S 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, regarding proposing it is only traditional to ask the father's permission. If her father has passed away, you can always ask the mother for permission to marry. Some people think that is unnecessary, but I think it is sweet.
If your girlfriend has a close relationship w/her mother & her mother knows her daughters taste, it would be a nice gesture to ask for help ring shopping. Otherwise, leave mom out of it ~ you don't want to open the door for her to butt into other big decisions in your relationship.
2007-09-24 11:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never known that to be tradition. The 3rd guy who proposed to me (still never married) what he did was have his best friend, who I was cool with act like he wanted to go pick out a ring for his girl with my help. Basically just so he could go back to that same jewelry store and have the best friend show him the rings I was eyeing. That way he wouldnt spoil the surpise by asking me what I liked or have someone with a big mouth ruin it. There's a lot of ways to finding out what your grlfriend may like... but asking her mother is not really a tradition.
2007-09-24 11:41:41 · answer #4 · answered by ShezFly2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking your g/f's mom to shop for an engagement ring with you is not "traditional", but if you feel she could provide valuable advice, then by all means ask her. Depending on how choosy your g/f is about your jewelry, you might get away with picking a ring yourself. Or, if you are too afraid to pick the "wrong" ring, propose first and take your fiancé to the jewelry store so she can choose her own ring.
2007-09-24 11:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Tradition" dictates that you ask the bride's father (or her parents in general) for her hand in marriage. You aren't required to ask her mom to help you pick out her ring, that's only if you want her help and opinion. But be careful, you don't want someone looking over your shoulder the whole time criticizing you for the choice you make.
2007-09-25 07:35:32 · answer #6 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she doesn't need to help you shop for the ring as you have been with her for 61/2 years you know her style.
Just quietly ask her parents for her hand in marriage a few days before you do it or if you need their help in the planning ask them then.
2007-09-24 17:28:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be traditional, you can ask her father's permission to marry her but you don't have to. Traditionally, you would just choose the ring on your own. Asking her mum to help pick one is a new modern thing and besides, her mum may have very different tastes to her daughter and may not know her daughter's taste in rings. If I were you, I would just pick it on my own. Good luck.
2007-09-24 15:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of it, but her mom COULD give you insight as to what ur girlfriend likes. If you trust your potential mother in law than go for it.
But it's not traditional...at least not from a Hispanic point of view.
2007-09-24 12:41:22 · answer #9 · answered by Fox 34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she doesn't go shopping with you - that's your job. However, you might want to talk to her before you propose - not really asking for permission, but rather for a 'stamp of approval' kind of thing.
Can't help but feel everyone will be most grateful that you are FINALLY asking her! That's a heck of a long time to date...
Good luck...
2007-09-25 01:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋