Becoming a navy wife?

Question

My boyfriend is currently in bootcamp when he gets out on his leave in janueary we are going to get married.
am I going to be able to go with him everywhere?
what will we need to do to get me to where he is and how does everything actually work?
do we live on base or off base?

he is going to be an MA if that makes any difference

Answer 1

After you get married he will have to take you, your ID (picture ID and actual Social Security Card) and your marriage license to Pass and ID to get your military ID and enroll you in DEERS (Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System). DEERS is what lets the military know that you're eligible for the benefits your husband earns throught the job.

Since you won't be married when he gets his first orders you won't be on them so the military won't pay for you to move. However, usually the first orders are to a training school and most of them are under 6 months meaning they are considered temporary duty and they never pay for the family to move to temporary duty stations. If you decide to move there it will be at your own expense and he may not be eligible for base housing or even to live off base with you.

When he gets orders to his first real duty station have him talk to the guys in the household goods office. He may be able to do a partial DITY move (Do IT Yourself). That would mean either he or you packs up all the stuff you own at one location while you have the military hire movers to pack up the stuff at the other location. Whichever one of you has the most stuff, have the military hire the movers for that. If you can fit all the stuff in your personal vehicle there are rules that allow for that.

Living on base or off base is up to you. Some people prefer one, some the other. Either way you get BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing). [They also only have this at 2 levels: with dependents or without dependents; so having more kids doesn't get you more money despite what the yokel somewhere up there put.]

If you choose to live on base you pay that entire amount as rent and it should cover everything except your phone and cable bill. Although some bases are looking at charging for excessive use of other utilities.

If you choose to live out in town stop by the base housing office first anyway. They often have rentals that you can't find out on the market. They also maintain lists of places that either prey on the military or have other problems. For example when we rented there was one place that they said "if you rent here they charge too much for x, y and z and base legal can't get the charges reduced...so don't try it" and they had a note that one complex charged a legal "restocking" fee if you used your military clause to get out of the lease earlier than the 12 month contract. That fee was about a months rent, legal in the state and really nice to be warned about as our base has some schools that are only 6 months so if you're here for that, look for another place to rent.

Also, as you're new ask them to review the military clause for leases with you. That clause can let you get out of a lease without a fight with fewer charges and less trouble if your military orders change. It's a good idea to know what the current area clauses look like and to know what protections you're entitled too.

I know it's a lot to take in when you're not even married yet. But there's a lot of us out here willing to help as much as we can. Wherever you go, look into the FRG (Family Readiness Group) for his command. I know a lot of young wives are warned away by people who think the groups are too cliquey and catty but I've always found some of my best friends through activities they've held and the support they give through deployments is wonderful.

Answer 2

You will be able to go with him if he gets a permanent duty station change and the location allows dependents. Luckily this is most bases where he is likely to be stationed. There are a few that are referred to as isolated duty where you will have to remain state-side. Also, you will not be allowed to follow him on temporary assignments such as schools. Generally you would remain at the last duty station until he reaches his final station.

You can live either on base or off. Base housing normally has a waiting list. Base housing is generally cheaper as you only pay for phone and cable, power, water, garbage and sewer are normally part of the deal. The quality of on base housing varies between the bases. At Bangor, Washington there are some very nice units. At other stations, the units are much like low income housing.

As soon as you get married, you and he need to go to the pass and ID office of the local Navy base. He can get you your dependents ID card. This card will allow you on base and access to the exchange (a department like store) and the commissary (a grocery store). You also use that ID card when you go to see any military doctor.

Good luck.

Answer 3

no, you don't. Only if he gets Accompanied orders can you go with him to a duty station, and not at all during schools or deployments.

You will have to pay out of pocket to get to where he is stationed when you get married, the Navy will not move you since he is already there.

Living in MFH is usually up to you. in some places it can be more beneficial to live off base and others more cost effective to live on base.

Answer 4

Yes, for the most part, you can go anywhere with him. There are a few bases overseas where all spouses have been evacuated but not many. The Navy will pay to move you out to his duty station and then you will have choices after that. You can chose to live on base where they pay for your rent and elctric or you can chose BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) in which they will give him extra pay to live out on town. Depending on his location this could be anywhere from $600 to $2000 extra a month. They Navy has people that will help you in this transition and it goes pretty smooth, which probably won't happen anywhere else in his military career.

Answer 5

You obviously can't be with him at bootcamp. You can't be with him at A or C schools if the schools last less than 6 months. Some bases have plenty of base housing, at other bases you will probably live off base but he will receive extra pay for housing if he is married. Your schooling will not be paid for. Realize that he will be gone for periods of 6 to 7 months at a time. You will have medical care and will have to pay extra for dental insurance.

Answer 6

You will be allowed to reside in base housing at his home base, but you will not be able to travel with him while he is assgined on the ship.

Home bases do not change often, but the mission of the ship may take him anywhere in the world!

Depending on what type of ship he is assigned to, you may be separated for months.

You should talk to his recruiter, he should give you more information.

I do apologize if I sound negative, but I just want you to know the truth.

Answer 7

When you get married, he will need to get you into the DEERS system so you have benefits (base access/healthcare, etc). You can go to permanent posts with him, but if leaves on TDY you won't be able to. For you to be able to follow him overseas if he PCS's OCONUS, you'll need to be placed on his orders, a so-called "command sponsorship". Your fiance/husband can talk to his unit and his commander to help him with all this. As far as on or off base, it depends on the situation. Some places everyone is required to live on post, others require only single enlisted and families to live on post. It really depends on rank and the housing situation where you'll be stationed.

Answer 8

DON'T DO IT!!!!

there's a reason something like 70% of military marriages end in divorce with the first 4 years. You seem kind of young to be jumping into the water like that, anyway. Your typical military wife is young, uneducated, naive, and deluded by the illusions of "young love." She thinks "oh I'm so in love! oh he's so perfect! oh my life is so perfect!" She pops out about 3-4 kids to collect more BAH, while her husband buys motorcycles and big screen TVs. He cheats on her while he's deployed, and being in the Marine Corps, I've seen what married Navy guys do in liberty ports... He gets out, realizes that he is going to miss out on all the great things about his 20's (college parties, sex with strangers, booze binges, maryjoewanna, and all that stuff), then it all come crashing down and she is left alone with his debts and his unwanted kids. Save yourself the heartbreak, sweetie...

Answer 9

If you love him and care about him you will find a way to make it work. Don't worry about it.

Answer 10

If he goes to Iraq!
You'll have to stay home with your in-laws!