please give a reason....
2007-09-24 10:35:50 · 8 answers · asked by Juan R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Women don't want nice guys. In my experience, with friends, partners, and other interactions, they like *KIND* guys. The difference is a subtle one, but it's important.
'Niceness' is a set of completely superficial behaviors that boils down to 'being inoffensive.' Someone can be a 'nice asshole' just as easily as a caustic asshole. Niceness also comes along for the ride with kindness in many cases, but is motivated by genuine care for others regardless of how it 'pays off.'
My experience has been that most of the deeply embittered 'nice guys' are just as self-centered as the jerks they gripe about; they just don't have the balls to weather rejection from healthy women while playing the numbers game, hitting on women until one responds favorably.
If your goal is to 'get' a girl, and you're trying to accomplish it by being a nice guy, you are being very inefficient. If your goal is to form long-lasting relationships with people you care about, and possibly have a romantic relationship with them, well, kindness is a quality to cultivate.
It's about motivation, really.
2007-09-24 11:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Trying to change people is codependent behavior. I think self-importance, along with not feeling messed-up, is a big driver behind it. The message "You're broken, and need to become more like me to be acceptable", is never well received, however. Which is one reason why it seldom works. But in a way they don't really want them to change. Then their mission would be over, and they'd have no messed up people in their lives to contrast themselves to, no on-going tragedy to divert their attention away from their own problems. Nice guys(talking about the ones who always seem to end up in those "why doesn't she want me" situations) usually do this too though. They usually pick some impossilbe situation or girl that doesn't really want them but will still talk to them, and then try to be so nice to change their minds, to change that girl into someone that wants them as a lover. And then imagine how perfect it's going to be once she comes to her senses. It's the narcissistic fantasy of him being the perfect lover for the perfect girl that he created from a messed up one. In both cases, the focus is on what could be, rather than what is. It's an obsession and diversion that takes them out of the problems of today.
2016-05-17 21:31:46 · answer #2 · answered by tera 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am all about a nice guy... no bad boys for me.
I don't have time for drama or problems, they come to me healthy and stable or they don't get past the first date. I'd rather spend my energy on having fun. My list of what I look for on a first date (in order of importance):
Sense of humor
Intelligence
Stability
Smells good
Decent looking
2007-09-24 10:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by Ũniνέгsäl Рдnтsthέisт™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would DATE a bad boy but MARRY a nice boy, only b/c bad boys r " fun" but never serious about anything like kids or anything, but nice boys will go far nd help u go far too in my opinion
2007-09-24 10:38:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had more than enough bad relationships.
I would just like to meet an honest man with a good heart who is warm and loving.
2007-09-24 10:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a nice guy, I don't like a lot of drama.
2007-09-24 10:43:59 · answer #6 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice guy! who is cute/fit hehe
2007-09-24 10:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
both because i want a guy who is smart and yet very sexy
2007-09-24 10:39:01 · answer #8 · answered by muslim gurl 4 eva! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋