I was with my ex boyfriend for 5 years how is it that one day we are talking about moving in together, that he loves me so much and he wants to make me his wife, and start a family with me and about a week later he breaks up with me?? I am still confused as to why he broke up with me. He didnt give me any reason besides he just doesnt want to be in a relationship right now, he wants to get his finances straight first so he can better provide for me. (sound like a load of crap) But isnt being a couple you should be trying to help each other to achive those kinda a goals??
2007-09-24 09:57:29 · 29 answers · asked by amanda h 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i know exactly what you are going through. my girlfriend of 3 1/2 years broke up with me last week and i am still confused as to why. Ive talked to people, and theyve told me things ranging from... give her space and let her figure it out, or to just be her friend and see how that goes... or to just move on and see how that affects her. in my heart i still love her dearly, so im not ready to move on right now. i pray that she just has alot going on in her mind, whether its being scared of growing up, or scared of falling deeper in love, and does need time to work everything out and make sure i am the one she wants in her life. my gf has said that she just feels pressure with everything going on in her life such as work, school and me, and she just isnt sure right now, so we are in exactly the same boat. i agree that we should help each other out when it comes to big decisions or trials that we may go through, and not to break up over it and risk losing the best thing for both people. its been a week and im still holding on to hope that we will be back together, although i know that shes not the type to ask for forgiveness. i dont believe i have endured the biggest trials just yet, whether it is accepting her back into my life, or having to let her go, but just pray for strength and guidance and youll get through it, we both will
2007-09-24 10:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by mr4point0 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone loves you he acts accordingly.
Amanda, I think you've sized up the situation perfectly. And as far as having the communication skills necessary to have a healthy relationship, it sounds as if this guy isn't in your league - not yet anyway. But his maturation is not your responsibility.
I'm sorry this happened but it's better that it happens now. Not all guys are like this and I hope that this one grows up, or that you get one of the good ones. Don't wonder about why he's done this, because I can guarantee that he's not spending time wondering about it.
You didn't do anything wrong. You want a man who doesn't run away. Don't take less.
2007-09-24 10:15:34 · answer #2 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course its because of the sex honey!! Take it from an older wiser woman- Young 'men' will always do literally anything and say anything to get their end wet... sorry to be crude but its TRUE. This is normal. Young men in particular are very selfish and immature. You did the RIGHT THING!! You are classy and will go far. He will end up fathering a child he didn't want with some other girl who didn't have the common sense that you do. Stick to your guns- do NOT sleep with this idiot. Find an older man when you are ready- after your studies are done. Life is about YOU.
2016-04-05 23:24:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex boyfriend told me the exact same thing after 2yrs together.I cant tell if it's the same case but later on I found out that he meant it because a common friend told me that he looks like a mess and working overtime.He was in a real bad financial state and being so proud he let me go before discussing it first.That doesn't mean he was right of course since he could have asked if I was willing to stay or not.
You don't have to thing badly of him but you definitely
should move on and perhaps find someone who fights to keep what he loves.
2007-09-24 10:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok to adress the later part of your question is yes, you as a couple should address those isues together, finances , your home, cars what ever it may be, fighting over money later isnt good so together you should set a living budget for food , entertainment, cars, clothes what ever, but together, his breaking up withyou to do this shows me he has issues about taking care of you and hisself and babies down the line if he is being honest with you, i dont think he is thought, i think he hooked up with some hottie and wants to go out with her, maybe he was just telling you what you wanted to hear to get in our bed? i would think though after five years he wouldnt still bein playing you ,all i can say is ive been heartbroken we al have but if you can get a real answer that you believe, then best to try andput it behnd you and honey dont let him back in your bed till you have a ring! good luck!
2007-09-24 10:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best to give him his space. Someone who changes that fast isn't ready for a real relationship. Don't push him to do something he isn't ready for yet. You will both regret it. I think the financial bit is just an excuse. Sounds like he is trying to let you down easy or has found someone else but still doesn't want to let go of you completely. Keep your eyes and ears open. Good Luck. I know it must be hard to be in this situation.
2007-09-24 10:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jodi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, couples should support each other through money problems, but it's possible the situation is worse than you know, and he's panicking. If you'd rather not take that as a sign he's not going to make the best life partner right now, try to get him to open up to you about the details. If he shuts you out, then unfortunately, you've got no choice but to move on.
2007-09-24 10:03:06 · answer #7 · answered by MM 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People say things like, we're going to get married, we're going to have kids together, because it sounds like the right thing to say. They say these things because it would be nice if things happened that way, but sometimes things change. You will fall in and out of love several times. Especially if you are young, you can't always think this person is going to be the person you are destined for for the rest of your life. He probably is really confused right now, it's time for you to enjoy your freedom, 5 years is too long. There are millions of people in the world, he's not the only one made for you.
2007-09-24 10:01:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cieeeee <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex boyfriend used that "finance" thing as an excuse. I think he is afraid of commitment and broke up with you to run from the Major commitment. If he loved you, he'll contact you soon. Or maybe he met someone else. Either way don't waste your life wondering, maybe he didn't deserve you anyway.
2007-09-24 10:08:24 · answer #9 · answered by angelkay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so right! He needs to realize that if he lets you go then there is a chance of you never returning to him. I think he just realized that he spoke before he thought (sorry if tht sounds cruel) i honestly think that something may have happened, i don't know what but something happened, tht is just my opinion. I hope everything turns out ok.
2007-09-24 10:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by Mark The vampire 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋