My 11 Year Old???????

Question

Saturday,I took My Boy's Shopping at the mall (they needed some extra stuff clothes...etc)..And we were looking around and all Of A sudden my 11 year old runs into the store
''Emoz R Kool''.He's like MOM!! CHECK OUT THIS COOL STORE!!.He wanted a shirt that said ''If I cut myself,I shall cut you''.I didn't think it was appropriate for school....He's NOT emo....It was Decorated and he's into that.He's upset..........Was i right for NOT letting him buy the shirt?

Answer 1

Of course! You should never let your kids do or buy things that are not appropriate. That is how they learn.

Answer 2

Oh no..that's awful. He has friends at school that are influencing this Emo style. This one's hard because not buying it was putting him up to rebel even more and wanting more of this "emo" stuff. I would've allowed my son to buy something in the store but not that particular shirt. I would have a talk with him and ask why he wants stuff like that? And give some restrictions about which items he can buy but not restrict everything because he will find these things on his own and make you more upset. It's a phase..it will pass. I allow my 8 & 10 yr old sons to be who they want to be but remind them that I am trusting them not to let peer pressure make decisions for them and if they have any problems in life they can always come to me. I talk to them daily. Just conversations about their friends and what they did..be very interested in their life and don't sound like you just want to be nosey..they hate it! (lol) Tell him you respect his wishes as a responsible person but if he fails you then changes will need to be made. I try not to barge in their privacy but I am very informed of what they do & who there friends are.

This works well for my family.

Answer 3

I think you were aboslutely right. If you bought that shirt, that would be supporting the hurting of oneself, an ultimately suicide. You don't want to send those sort of messages to your 11 year old. And on that note, he probably would have gotten in a lot of trouble in school for wearing it. You absolutely made the right choice.

As for him being upset, try asking him why he liked the shirt. Did he think it was funny? Explain to him why hurting yourself isn't funny. Did he think it was cool? Explain to him why it isn't cool. Did he just like the color? Explain that although it may have been a great color, the message is inappropriate.

I hope this helps!
<3 Kerry

Answer 4

Yes, it was the right thing to do. You are there to guide your child, and an 11 year old wearing a shirt talking about cutting is NOT cool. My daughter wanted socks and clothes with that horrible, condescending and derisive rabbit on it, and I didn't think that was cute or appropriate for a six year old, so she didn't get them. She didn't like it, but I'm trying to make a point. I think you're good to go.

Answer 5

'Some emo shirts are cool, but that one is not. Not even good for chillen at the mall w/ friends. Let him wear some emo shirts but you pick them out for him. Like a shirt with a skull is fine every now and then, but not shirts that have stuff like "i cut myself" because that might get him to try it and then well thats bad.

Answer 6

I completely agree with you! I would have had a heart attack if my 11 year-old had done it.

Plus, many schools will not allow sayings like that on shirts or anything. He would be suspended for sure, or even expelled.

My daughter talked casually about "murder" in a "would you rather" game. She was in 3rd grade. Another student over-heard it & told their parents, so the parent turned in my kid & the other. They were suspended for 2 days, and threated with being expelled, but only the suspension due to no prior record.

Schools are really clamping down on this, and I can't imagine him wearing it anywhere!

There are funnier shirts out there that have a dark sense of humor, but don't sound harmful.

Good Luck...just remember that you are the parent looking out for his well-being whether he likes it or not!

Answer 7

Even if you allowed him to have the shirt,I'm not sure he could wear it to school. As my grand-daughter explained EMO-it means emotional and they like to think about suicide. You cant blame your son for wanting to be one of the crowd,but maybe if he understood what EMO means,it might change his mind. There must be a shirt that has writing on it that doesnt advocate cutting. At least I hope there is.

Answer 8

Yes, to be honest, it was. Shirts like that are not appropriate for anyone to wear. It glorifies a suicide strategy as cool. I get sick whenever I see an "Emo" teenager because they think it's cool to be suicidal and depressed. It's becoming a fad these days and I pray to god that it is a fad that is dead buy the time I have a child.

Answer 9

Were you right? Heck yeah! Post Columbine/Virginia Tech world, the kid would be sent home for wearing a shirt that says "I shall cut you". I got my brother a Green Day shirt when he started middle school. They made him change it because it had a grenade on it.

Answer 10

Like, Omigod, my son is so turning EMO! I like, totally wanted him to be a football player!

Seriously though, while that shirt is probably not appropriate for school, be careful about restricting your kid too much or he may become Emo just to spite you. I knew a kid who did that with his over-protective family values loving uber christian father. The kid was really messed up. I don't think his father was abusive, per se, just too controlling. Anyhow, just a thought.

Answer 11

sounds like you just need to be reassured. I think you did the right thing. I would not buy that shirt for any kid no matter their age. My daughter is 12 and she chooses her clothes with my final approval. I think you are doing the right thing, keep up the good work.
Morgaine