I'm really lost Please help I need some serious advice?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and 3 months. He's overall an amazing person. Lately I haven't seen him like i used to(which was everyday) I havent seen him in a month(he only lives 15min walk away, and says it's cause he's lazy and doesn't feel like walking) I try to tell him how it's affecting me all the time. He used to be understanding & try to make things better. Now he just says he's sorry but does nothing to make it work, & sumtimes just gets aggravated. I've been so upset. It's such a big change going from seeing him everyday to barely ever. I love him so much, but i'm starting to feel like my kindness is being taken advantage of.
What should I do and say to get things back to normal ?

The reason i don't walk to him, is because he doesn't want me to. He doesn't want anyone to try and hit on me. I told him before how crazy that is, but he says not to. He lives with his mom and grandmom in an apartment.

Answer 1

After a year and three months you should be able to ask him what's going on and get an honest answer. If he can't give you a good answer he's not into the relationship anymore but he's too chicken to come out and tell you.

Answer 2

The next move is all on you. Let go or be dragged. You know he does'nt have the courage to tell you the truth; that it is over. You may be able to salvage a friendship but you might not want to, eventually. Claiming to be "lazy" is beyond lame. Yr most important relationship is betwen you and that mirror, girl. By the way, it is not natural to cling to each other every single day. How can I miss you if you don't go away? Feeling used is valid but all relations are ones of mutual use. At the very least, you used each other to not feel alone. Again, being with yrself and enjoying it is vital. Why continue this agony of torturing his cowardice?

Answer 3

Unfortunately for you you are finding out the hard way that a relationship requires two people.
If your b/f isn't interested , there is nothing you can say or do to change that. What i'm saying is that he has to want the relationship too, and has to put into the relationship as well if it's going to work.
While it isn't easy you should be thinking about what you can do to replace the time your used to spending with your b/f in order to minimize the pain. Get involved in hobbies or activities to take up some of the extra time you have. Who knows you might even meet a new guy that wants to spend time with you!!

Answer 4

This IS "normal". Relationships never stay the exact way they were in the beginning because we change, and sometimes we grow apart from our partner. But if one of both partners is unwilling to face changes together, it's pretty much over.

It sounds as if you care more than he does about changing the status quo. Maybe you're driving him crazy with the way you think things should be, or maybe he's moved on. In any event, you can't hold up both ends of the relationship and you should be prepared to move on.

Bottom line, if you can't have a conversation about this with him, move on and find someone who will give you want you want. I can't say he's taking advantage of your kindness because I sense a hidden attempt to bargain: you want a payoff from him in return for your kindness. That's only fair, but don't make it sound like total charity on your part.

Answer 5

Pretty much, he's broken up with you without saying the actual words. Ask him if thats what hes doing and if thats what he wants? If not then tell him something needs to change because you're not happy. And if something doesn't change then its just obviously time to move on. And then if nothing changes... really do it. He'll either realize whats his lost and come crawling or you'll realize how much time you were wasting when he doesn't come crawling. And then you'll find some one new and more then likely better. (it's a proven fact that after breakups most women upgrade while men... sadly... downgrade. So fun to see the ex's with some one icky!)

Answer 6

if you havent seen him within a month, ide say hes lost interest in you or hes seeing someone else, if you over aggagerating, perhaps he just wants some space, seeing a person everyday for a long period of time can be quiet the annoyance. Keep trying to talk to him and if he doesnt change, give him an ultimatum.

Answer 7

There might not be a whole lot you can do. I think the best thing is for you to ask him what he is feeling. Usually when guys get in the habbit of avoiding their girlfriend, it's probably because they don't know how to man up and say they need space or whatever it is. It's going to be hard a hell to get things back to what they used to be but it's something that maybe needs to be done. If your boyfriend doesn't give you a straight answer when you ask him then maybe its time to leave him alone. You don't need unnecessary childishness in your life.

Answer 8

It definately sounds like your kindness is being taken advantage of. It sounds like he has grown comfortable and feel like your not going anywhere so who cares. I would break up with him (even if its just for a little) so he can realize that he is loosing you and get a little bit motivated. If he doesn't try to change or make things better, then he obviously doesn't care that much about you.

Answer 9

YOu should try walking over to his house to surprise him and ask for him to take you on a walk, being lazy is no excuse, your his girlfriend and he should enjoy spending time with you, and not make it feel like its a chore, if you try and talk to him about how you feel again, and he dosnt listen than maybe its time to find someone else who is going to love everything you have done for them, and not make it seem like even talking to you is a chore

Answer 10

I wouldn't jump to any conclusions, but people do change sometimes. If he won't listen to how it's effecting you and you think you're being taken advantage of, then dump him. Chances are he'll ask why at some point, so when he does is your opportunity to let him know what was going on.