Planning for Second Child.?

Question

I have a 3 month old girl and I know we want a second.
I would like the input of parents who have 2 + children.

How old was your first when you had your second?
Did you plan for this age difference? If so why?

Do you feel having the first out of diapers before having the second is easier or have do you prefer to have them closer in age?

I know it is a personal preference and not aways planned but I would just like to hear some other situations.

Thanks to all who share!!

XOXO

Answer 1

We ended up with 3 years between each of our children. It wasn't exactly planned that way but ended up that way. The spacing was great. I wouldn't worry about having the first out of diapers before having the second. We found that the kids regressed a bit when the baby came anyway...but it didn't last long. Having older siblings being 3 years older ment that they could actually help instead of just pretend to! It was also easy to talk to them and get them ready for the new baby. Now that they are older it's a great spacing in school...they aren't in grades where they do the same trips and there's no chance that if they have to combine grades that they will be in the same class. I'm also thinking that with a 3 year difference there should only be a short overlap when they get to post secondary education....I don't know how we'd finance more than one tuition for more than a year.

All in all I would say that a 3 year difference is great...but as you say it's a personal preference.

Good luck and congratulations on your little girl!

Answer 2

We're trying for our second now. We were has custody of my cousin [5yrs] for two years and when our son was born. They are four years apart but it's a different situation all together. They really did love each other and were just like brothers.

Anyway, I'll tell you about my mom. She had my sister and I only a year apart. [1 year and 24 days to be exact....] I'm not so sure they planned for it to be that way or if I was a surprise but they say they did.

My mom said she loved having us so close in age. Yes, we were in diapers but my sister potty trained early and so did I. We always had a playmate. We always occupied ourselves. We were just very happy little girls.

If I could have had another one within three months of my son I would have. It didn't work out that way. After we have this next one we do plan on having the third three months after so they will be close in age.

I would much rather having kids close then far apart but that's just me.

Answer 3

I have a 6 year old girl and a 3 year old boy. My daughter was 3 years and 11 days when my son was born. I did plan for both of my children because my sister and I are the same years apart and we are best friends. Of course when we were younger we had our spats, but we were always there for eachother and even more now. I wanted the same for my kids. I never had 2 in diapers, but my friend does and she doesn't complain any more than the rest of us. Good Luck whatever you decide. No matter what, you will love to watch your siblings together.

Answer 4

My kids are about 2 1/2 years apart. It is nice to have a little while to get your body back together. I have one that was not planned and three that were. I had two in diapers together. It is definately easier when only one is in diapers! Good Luck!

Answer 5

I have 3 kids ( 6 , 2 & 8 month) of my own, oldest from previous marriage & a steph-son ( 10 yrs). My oldest , hs oldest & our 2 yr old boy are separated 4 yrs by coinsidence and the 3 are from December our 8 th month was planned becase we didn't want for me to be 30 & pregnant so our 2 youngest will not be much apart. For example our 10 & 6 yrs are independent & our 2 yr has finished potty training so we are buying diapers only for one.. As spending time we love to give them time just for one & time as family.. We love to deal & helping with homework & play outside.. We did plan our 2 little ones the oldest where allready in our lifes but we didn't want for them to be much apart they have their problems like every other kid but they love each other & love to be together.. It is fun to have a family of this size thank God we can afford it & most important we have quality time with them and they know that we have to work hard to provide them what they have & a little more.. So I guess it is always better to plan how many & how much apart your kids will be... But it is up to you but for now enjoy as much as you can your 3 month and maybe byy the time she is 1 1/2 you can start preparing her sis or borther .. BEst wishes!!

Answer 6

My boys are exactly 3 years apart and my daughter is 6 years younger than my middle son (son 16, son 13, daughter 7). I did not want two kids in diapers so we specifically had them atleast 3 years apart. We wanted to enjoy that newborn time with each child before we had another. I think it helped financially as well.

In our personal situation, my boys were great and played together so nice (the teenage years are another story). And when their baby sister came along, they were just in love and they cant get enough of her today as well!

BTW....Your daughter is just adorable!

Answer 7

My daughter was just about 4 when we had our baby boy. I wouldn't have it any other way. Originally we would have liked to have them a year closer but things didn't work out that way. But now that I have it the way I have it, I love it. My daughter is old enough to understand if I can't get what she wants right away. Plus she also understands that it's important to give mom a hand with things around the house. She's learning to clean up after herself more, even has a little broom and dustpan that she uses to sweep the floor when she makes a mess at dinnertime! She also takes dirty diapers to the trash, gives the baby his nuk, and helps with his bathtime. My point is, the older your first kid is when you have your second, the easier it is. They can understand why they aren't always the center of attention anymore and take delight in helping mom out around the house. And to be perfectly honest, I thought my life changed after having one kid, it really changed with two kids. It's not easy to get things done, like cleaning, laundry or making dinner. But having my little helper makes it a little easier to manage. I think it would be very difficult to have two really little ones. The littler they are, the needier they are. Kudos to parents who can handle that, but I am NOT one of them!

Answer 8

ALL I CAN SAY IS

WAIT!!!!

Wait at least til your daughter is 18 months to conceive. That way between 18 months and 27 months you wont be pregnant and taking care of an infant and prego. By the time you have your second your oldest will be a little more independent. She will be feeding herself and potty training.

Trust me wait at least til your daughter is 18 months.

So much easier.

My oldest is going to be 3 in Nov. and my youngest will be 1 in January.

Answer 9

I have two daughters ages 5 & 6 and it was great to have them both back to back. They are 15months apart but they look like fraternal twins. They play with each other, wear the same size clothes. It is a great experience to have them close in age. I say go for it ....good luck!!!

Answer 10

i only have one kid just now but would like 2 start planning when my son is just over a year old cause the way it will work out they would be about 2years apart with how long the pregnancy is
i find 2years good because the are 2years gap between me and my sisters and we get on great at times