I don't know what to do... stay, go, stay??? Ahhhhh!!???

Question

I love my bf so much! he's my everything! But, I strayed and betrayed him a lil on accident! I made a mistake!
Now he is questioning every little thing i do! I dont know how long i can take it! Is it worth it?? Should i suck it up for my mishaps???? Has this or anything similar happened to you or someone you know?? Please help!

he says bringing it up and talking about it helps to clear his mind and makes it easier to move on.... ??

Answer 1

Suck it up, girl we all make mistakes, time and patience will heal
do not forget you said you f**d up, I have f**d up too. I do not know how you can make it better, other than talk about it and show you are sorry and give him time and be patient, how would you have felt if things were flipped?

God Bless

By the way we are back together and though he doesn't bring it up I do, I am working on my forgiveness he isn't working on his. It can be worked out with Patience, better chances if you involve God.

Answer 2

From what it looks to me, he's got a problem, too. Questioning every little thing you do? He's jumping into conclusions before he knows the full story. He's supposed to be your boyfriend, not your father. What you did, tells yourself whether or not you have his trust anymore, because he doesn't care, right now, how or why you did the damage. You still did damage. But jumping to conclusions I'm trying to stray from that action because all it ever did was get me in trouble. There will come a time when he will be willing to talk about it. Let that time come on it's own. Although trust is a good key to a relationship, so is coommunication so the both of you have to be ready for that. When you are, make him understand that you know what you did was wrong, let him know that his jumping to conclusions is not good for him either. A break up should never be one-sided. It's not healthy The both of you need to do what you feel is right. The last thing I need to say, I know it's obvious but it's also imperative, what you did to make you believe you deserve this,: DON'T DO IT AGAIN!

Answer 3

Many people say "once trust is broken, it can't be repaired"

Well, that's a load of crap. It can certainly be rebuilt if you both want it.

There are different degrees of relationship offenses. You've committed one of the most extreme ones. But that doesn't mean the two of you can't work this out. The fact that he's still there is means he's willing. But he will need time.

One the other hand, you betrayed him, he now doesn't trust you and is questioning you, and you're uncomfortable with the line of questioning. So you turn here and ask people on yahoo answers if your relationship is worth the effort. The lack of trust and probing questions vs your "love" for him. Why? Why are you asking that question here? My guess is that he's more interested in saving your relationship then you are.

You cheated on him for a reason. You're looking at someone else's yard thinking "the grass is greener over there". And you're asking us here, a totally anonymous crowd who have absolutely no interest in your relationship, if it's ok to break up with him. I noticed too, you're not asking how to regain his trust. Just whether or not it's ok to dump him.

Another key point here is this. You said bf. ie. boyfriend. If you were married I would suggest you attempt to work it out. If you were married with children I would absolutely recommend therapy and reconciliation. But the fact is your just dating (without children I hope).

So, if you want my advice, break up, move on, find somebody else. Before it's too late and you're in a permanent relationship (perphaps with children) that you don't want. He'll be better off.

Answer 4

Cheating on someone is not an accident! You say this guy is your everything? You need reevaluate your priorities, because when you truly love someone you don't hurt them like that. That's a horrible thing that you did and he has every right not to trust you. Leave the relationship so he can find someone who will treat him better and learn from this.

I can tell by how you wrote this that you are very young, or really immature, before you claim love, grow up a little. It helps in the long run!

Answer 5

Okay, here's the deal. He has every right to feel hurt, abandoned, unworthy...the list can go on and on. But, if he chose to still stay with you, then you both need to talk about where things stand. It is going to take him a while, this is his anger for what you did coming out, but it will eventually smooth over.
Also, remember, this "mistake" of yours, will never completely be forgotten. So, if you don't think that you can handle him being this way, you should let him go to find someone he can trust. Also, don't make yourself the victim. You are the one who cheated, and there is never an excuse for cheating.

Answer 6

I agree with Jennifer. Broken trust cannot be mended...forgiven perhaps, but once broken its broken and things will not be the same.

From your description of your current relationship...trust is NOT there anymore. And his behavior is not consistent with forgiving your trespass.

Part company. Chill. Don't go looking for a while. If things are meant to be, something will happen...but YOU should not be making the moves.

Clean break, full apology to your BF....and tell him you realize you don't deserve his trust, bite the bullet...and let him decide if he wants to forgive and forget....

But be aware, even if he does forgive you...this demon may come back to haunt your relationship with him in the future...and at that point, there may be even more at stake than you have now.

If I had a vote, I'd say go.

Answer 7

Strayed and betrayed him on accident? I think not... You made bad choices and now you have to live with them. I don't think that your boyfriend is your everything, but he may qualify as your sometimes. You need to break up with him and leave that poor boy alone. You are not ready for a commitment to one person. Go back to playing the field.

Answer 8

If your boyfriend was your everything, you wouldn't have gone and gotten something from someone else...however, that's done and can't be undone.

He's a right to be upset, hurt, and mistrustful...but at some point he's going to have to put the issue behind him, so the two of you can move forward. How long ago did it occur? If it was fairly recent, then his behavior is understandable...if it was many months ago, then this may be something you two cannot get past without counseling (if at all).

Answer 9

Okay so let me get this straight your problem is that YOU cheated and now your boyfriend is taking to long to get over it? WOW you sound like a great girlfriend that he should trust. Come on. LOL. If you want him to trust you again that is going to be on his time scale. Trust is earned honey. You broke that trust and in my book that is the worst thing you can do. If something isn't right talk to your boyfriend not some random hunk. If I were him I would leave you. :) Good luck.

Answer 10

It is extremely common - after all we are all human and it is a tremendous effort to be faithful, especially in relationships that may be young love or just infatuation and may not be the kind of love that is sustaining. You need to look at the relationship and talk to your boyfriend and see where you see the relationship going. It he is this way now and doesn't find a way to get a grip on his distrust that your relationship can't possibly grow and be healthy. Good luck and God Bless.