My fiance's brother's wife has been very difficult throughout our whole wedding planning process. She expected to be asked to be in the wedding, and when she wasn't, told us we were rude, and has been at odds with the whole grooms family, specifically the mother of the groom and her husband. She's constantly trying to somehow make things about her, and is acting very spoiled. She has informed us that she will not be coming to the wedding because she doesnt feel "wanted". We of course sent an invitation to my fiance's brother AND her, and have no plans of excluding her in anyway. We have reiterated we would like her to be at the wedding, as have the parents. Should my fiance's brother skip the wedding out of respect for his wife? Or should he take a stand and tell her she is expected to be there and put her feelings aside? Or should he go to the wedding without her? (its 3000 miles away)
2007-09-24 08:43:46 · 23 answers · asked by Katie T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, He should come to the wedding but I am afraid it is out of your hands. It is up to him (and unfortunately her) whether he comes or not.
2007-09-24 08:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You are placing too much emphasis on what this particular couple thinks. She is obviously selfish, rude and her saying she won't attend the wedding because she doesn't feel wanted -- is yet another example of her behaving like a two-year old throwing a temper tantrum. The more energy you give into focusing on her, the more she'll behave that way. They will make their own decisions -- whether it be to come to the wedding or not. Cut your losses and do what needs to be done for your wedding.
You have every right to choose who you want to be in your wedding. The two of you had enough courtesy to invite them despite their poor behavior. It's getting to the point where you are wasting your time when you could be investing your energy into wedding planning. The quicker you get over what this woman thinks, the more you can get done and the less stressed you'll be in the long run.
2007-09-24 09:00:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to act like a spoiled brat and not go then just ignore her. But your fiance's brother you would expect to attend because he is the groom's brother (myabe in the wedding party?). It would be rude of him to skip the wedding just because his wife doesn't want to go. He should go without her. She was invited and said no but that doesn't mean he shouldn't go on his own, no matter how far away it is. He should be there to support his brother, who cares about the brat.
2007-09-24 16:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her one final time, if you haven't already, that she is welcome at your wedding with her husband. Then that's it, you have done your part. Then, they will either come or they won't, or he will alone. That is all you can do. The ball is in their court. He has to live with her, so if she issues an ultimatum he will have to choose.
This happened in the wedding I was maid of honor in. My best friend the bride invited her brother and his wife, excluded their kids because the kids were unusually badly behaved and have no supervision in public by their parents. The sister in law issued her husband an ultimatum, go to the wedding and I won't be here when you come home. He chose to not attend his sister's wedding. They divorced a few years later anyway, over an ultimatum issued about something else.
2007-09-24 09:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly it's up to him to decide, but at this point, you have extended the invitation and that is all you can do. If your fiance's brother doesn't show up to his own brothers wedding because his wife is being a spoiled *****, your fiance's brother should really take a step back and figure out if this is the woman for him. She doesn't even have the right to be mad at him if he does show up because you did the right thing by extending the invitation to her. It's now her decision to either come or stay home and sulk. I really hope for your fiance's sake, his brother comes to the wedding with our without her - trust me he will regret it later on if he doesn't.
2007-09-24 09:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation and although the final decision is up to your fiance's brother, I hope he decides to go with or without his wife. If he stays away from his own brothers wedding because his wife is a spoiled brat he will regret it.
You did the right thing by inviting them and you have nothing to feel bad about, but I really hope he decides to go.
Good luck!
2007-09-24 14:58:28 · answer #6 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no pleasing people like that. If you tell her not to come she's essentially getting what she asked for, but she'll complain because you're being "rude" again. If you continue to insist that she come, and if she doesn't that your fiance's brother come without her, she'll be mad at him and continue to say she's not wanted. I know it hard to do with family but when people act like someone else's wedding revolves around them it's just so selfish. There comes a point when you need to say, you're really not my main concern right now and that you could care less what she does (come to the wedding to decide to stay home and pout). This is about you and your fiance so enjoy this time you two have planning your special day and she'll have to be the one to live with her decision. Best of luck...and congrats!!
2007-09-24 09:00:18 · answer #7 · answered by luckygurl284 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky question. She is acting like a spoiled brat and should grow up. This is a family affair and she is wanted, however if she don't want to come don't make her. Believe me you do not want the stress of her if she is going to make it known she does not want to be there. He husband on the other hand, he should go regardless. This is his brothers wedding and if she can't understand that then something is wrong with her. He should have enough respect for his brother to come with or without her.
2007-09-24 08:54:40 · answer #8 · answered by rae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is between your future brother in law, and his wife. You and your fiance have said you want them both there, and your future parents in law have said they want them BOTH there. You can't do more than that. If she wants to behave like a spoiled brat over this, then let her. You should, however, support your brother in law in whatever he decides to do, remember, he sleeps with her--you don't! He's got a tough decision to make, and I feel sorry for his wife, she's putting him in a position of having to choose between her and his family, and that's never a good thing to do to someone. I'd be willing to bet they've got some massive marriage problems as well--that you definitely don't want to get involved with. Just have your fiance let him know that you guys will support him in whatever he decides to do. You want him there, but totally understand (even if you don't--because I don't) if he can't be there. Don't hold it against him if he doesn't come either. I'm sure he's just trying to keep the peace in his family.
Have a happy wedding day, regardless!
2007-09-24 09:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is acting like she is five and not having the spotlight on her 24/7.
Your fiance's brother should definitely attend the wedding. He is family! He should tell her, "with or without you, I will be attending my bro's wedding. I won't miss that for the world. Do you want to come and possibly have a good time or do you want to sit home and mope all weekend?"
2007-09-24 08:58:06 · answer #10 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is important for the brother to be there... heck, its his brother that is getting married. When my brother gets married I will be there with or without my husband.... plus, when people have to travel for weddings, there are always reasons why someone else cant come... I had a destination wedding and dealt with that too.
I think she's being selfish and needs to suck it up... if she chooses to go, great... if not, its because she's being a brat. Either way, the brother should be there.
Honestly, based on what you've said about her... I dont think she would allow him to go alone and would tag along whether she really wanted to or not.
Talk to the brother... tell him that its important to you for him to be there... I'm sure he will work something out
2007-09-24 09:17:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋